1 p.m. Open Thread: Brett Favre would like to slap that ass
Mike Ditka, wearing a goofy pilgrim-style cap, was whining this morning about the quality of the annual Thanksgiving match-ups — due in large part to the inclusion of perennial chumpstains the Detroit Lions. Truth be told, I am perfectly happy with shitty Thanksgiving games. When I’m stuck in the boonies listening to a second cousin by marriage whose name I don’t remember yammering about the finer points of rebuilding the transmission on a ‘76 El Camino, I can sit in rapt attention to just about any crap game. Save the marquee games on Sunday afternoons.
Speaking of marquee, the Jets and Titans headline today’s early offerings. Just when I thought ESPN couldn’t get any gayer for Brett Favre, I saw Greg Garber soliciting accounts of Brett Favre slapping the asses of unwitting teammates and coaches. Now Berman is sooooo jealous of Nick Mangold. After that brutal piece, I am praying for a monster game from the Titan’s front four.
November 23rd, 2008 at 12:54 pm
The thought of staying home with his wife and not being around ‘comraderie’ of the locker room was why he returned. What a closet fag.
November 23rd, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Replacing Sexy Friday as top post with this view of Brett’s nostrils is not cool, man.
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Can I slap your ass flubby?
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:02 pm
I can see all the way up your nose!
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Is McNabb wearing those novelty Hulk gloves?
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Flubby, I am with you. I sat through NBA and local HS football matchups from OCTOBER on local Time Warner sports channel last Christmas day. I love my family, but even we could not fill the day. I say football is needed on Christmas too. Do you suppose God has an opinion?
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Wow the Rams D is bad…
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Thanks FOX for repeatedly showing Isaac Bruce’s bloody dome while I’m eating tomato soup!
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Houw bout the rams are just bad period? Wow.
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:20 pm
There’s some LenFAIL on 3rd down
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Thank goodness the Bears used up all their creativity on that first drive.
As a Packers fan, I thoroughly enjoy the Bears’ patented WR screen for no yardage. Or 3 yard passes on 3rd and 8, those are good too
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:21 pm
And did the Lions actually just score?
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Philly 3 and out. Great….
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:28 pm
And the Pats still can’t stop the Wildcat.
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:31 pm
The Titans are playing with all the enthusiasm Texas Tech mustered last night.
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:33 pm
I know the Lions suck in the second half, but them being up 14-0 just feels… wrong? unclean? something like that
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Oh dear, I didn’t want to hear the Favrellatio so I am sticking with this crappy Philly game. I WANT FAVRE TO GO AWAY.
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:33 pm
The receiver the Pats never throw to with another insane catch
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:34 pm
@ Dave: It feels like SU come from behind to beat ND. BIZARRE….DID IT REALLY HAPPEN?
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Titans losing? Lions winning? Whhhhhaaaaaa?
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Wes welker just got “big time exploded”
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Christmas: Gamecast says Welker injured?? What’s up?
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:39 pm
NOOOOOO!!!! WELKAH IS DOWN!! CANCEL THE SEASON BEFORE MORE WHITE PATRIOTS GO DOWN!
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Sloth: nawt gawna happen! Patriawts awre Tawff!
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Rams have -16 yards right now…
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Yep this game sucks…D McNabb gave the ball to Balty and they don’t know what to do with it
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:43 pm
WELKAH IS BACK. THANK GAWD.
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Cassel did one of those shovel passes while he wsa getting sacked to Welker and some guy on the Dolphins knocked him about 5 yards backwards before Welker could even turn around, he was down, but it looks like he’s back in.
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:47 pm
0-0/ awesome. Ball back in Philly’s oh so competent control. Thanks Yoyo!
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:48 pm
HOLY SHIT THAT ASS THREW ANOTHER INTERCEPTION. GD IT.
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:49 pm
The more taste league makes me stabby.
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:57 pm
The Packers suck. Wisconsin has the ugliest women in the country.
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:57 pm
JABAAAHHHHH is the daaaahkie WELKAH
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:58 pm
You know what they say about quarterbacks with big hands?
They say that Peter King has to take icebaths for the next week.
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Matt Forte is gonna single-handedly win me my fantasy game this week. Or should the credit be given to the Porous Rams D? Whatever, I’ll take the points.
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:05 pm
I won’t deny that Wisconsin has many fatties, but eating Brats and drinking beer will do that. But Heather Graham is from Milwaukee, and Roller Girl is a seminal moment in film history. heh
And I remember something from last week that leads me to believe that although the Packers suck, the Bears are worse…
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Ah the Lions losing, that feels right.
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Even Marmalard is impressed with the floater that Joe Flacco just threw.
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:15 pm
THIRD PICK
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Did McNabb just force a fumble after his own pick?
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Ah no, stupid lateral by Ed Reed
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:17 pm
What a cluster fuck
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Matty Cassel is your MVP. no, not really, but he’s making himself very rich this off-season.
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:23 pm
So I’m watching this on like a 30 minute DVR delay, but is anyone else sick of the fact that no official in this league knows how to call a chopblock???
Alex Brown gets by his blocker and then as Stockton and Balldinger put it is “cut” from behind. Yeah…when it happens from behind it’s a fucking chop block. Alex Brown left the game with a leg injury. Offenses are gonna keep doing this shit until some official pays attention and calls it and makes it hurt a little.
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:23 pm
That was a sweet catch .. Wilcox
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:28 pm
I wonder if Donovan knows that Thanksgiving often ends in a pie?
/sorry.
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:28 pm
One of the gayest looking defensive coordinators I’ve ever seen.
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Sweet baby Jesus! Demps just made mockery of the love on for the Ravens. He hehee
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Where the fuck is Jason Witten .. did Peter King kidnap his red zone abilities?
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:35 pm
The unholy blasphemy of not starting Purple Jesus is giving me stigmata. Borrowed time, Childress…..borrowed time.
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Dierdorf: “You know what Bill Belichick’s halftime speech is going to be about … the ‘p’ word and the ‘t’ word.”
(weird silence)
Dierdorf: “Penalties and turnovers.”
…
Ah, thanks, Dan. Thought you were talking about pussy and tits. Appreciate the clarification.
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Trent Edwards, Chad Pennington and Matt Cassel. All three of those white supremacist pole smokers have a rushing TD now.
Meanwhile Adrian Peterson has six fucking carries…
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
The Ravens are just good enough that they can carry two kickers on their roster. No receivers though
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:42 pm
I wonder if Ron Turner found some more creative plays in his car seat during halftime. Otherwise, we’re fucked with Run up the gut, run up the gut, 3 yard out pattern, punt.
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:47 pm
To Sprint CEO Dan Hesse:
Fuck you, it’s a phone. Get the Hell out of my TV. Oh, and once again, fuck you.
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:51 pm
So Terry McAulay really shat the bed on that punt. “Oh you mean Lance Briggs wasn’t on the field??? SHIT I mean the Rams’ #55. Quick, quick, get the offense off the field, and replay the down before anyone realizes that I’m white-blue color blind.”
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Sprint got nothin’ on the Verizon Blackberry Storm.
IT MAKES CLICKING NOISES LIKE A REAL KEYBOARD.
/SHITTING PANTS
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Apparently the Pats D is still in the locker room.
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Mike Singletary now looks too much like a light-skinned Tracy Morgan for me to take him seriously. And to get blown out by a Cowboys team that just looks AWFUL is another strike against him.
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:57 pm
“Last Play: 3-2-JAC 8(8:26) C.Taylor up the middle to JAX 15 for -7 yards (D.Harvey).”
Someone tell me it was even worse than I imagined.
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:58 pm
CHESTER TAYLOR IS NOT A FUCKING GOAL LINE BACK
Can’t see the game but did Brad Childress get hair plugs and feels all bold and confident now or something??
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
McNabb get benched?
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Or did he just have to get his muffins out of the oven?
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:01 pm
More annoying than the Wildcat is the announcer bromides that follow any team other than the Dolphins using it:
“Well, it’s a copycat league…”
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Trent Edwards with his second rushing TD of the day. What is this bizarro world we’re living in today? Coming up at 4pm, Kurt Warner rushes for 37yds and 3 TDs without fumbling once. That’s when erotic asphyxiation turns into hanging yourself.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:05 pm
“Under 50 percent completion rate in terms of completing his passes…”
I hate my TV.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:06 pm
“And the kick…successful!” You sound like a dick, Stockton.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Balldinger just said that the Rams have to rebuild Marc Bulger. Not rebuild the team with him. Not rebuild without him. They have to rebuild Marc Bulger, the person. The way Kurt Warner has been rebuilt. I think Balldinger’s been watching a bit too much of the Six Million Dollar Man.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Mercury Morris, please pick up the courtesy phone lodged in your rectum
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Cue the ‘The Titans just needed a loss’ story for Peter King. Bonus points if he says that the Pats needed one last year to avoid the distractions of history. Yeah, cause history made Asante drop the perfect season clinching gift from Elisha.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:15 pm
I hate you Westbrook, almost as much as I hate Lee Evans and Willis McGahee…
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Ooh…you started Westy today? Ouch.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:19 pm
I am a very straight man, but if Matt Forte keeps this up, I would gladly be his whore.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:25 pm
THAT”S MY BOY WELKAH!
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Welkah with a sixty faah yaaaad gain
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:27 pm
And that’s the dahkie pawthead, Faulk!
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Memo to the Vikings:
Next time could you go ahead and score a touchdown instead of a field goal when you’re on their 4 yard-line, you Red Zone-raping assholes?
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:34 pm
CBS can switch from the Jets’ blow out anytime now.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Haslett was going to kick the field goal, and the fans, Trent Green, and (not that he heard it) Stockton/Balldinger are completely up in arms. They get all over him about it. He goes for it: First down, interception, irony.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Second Memo to the Vikings:
Thank you for observing the new policy.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:42 pm
That’s it. Fuck Roy Williams, I’m starting Ginn next week. God damn Roy needs to be fucked in the ass with a rusty pitchfork.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Goddammit Dolphins, the Price is Right fail music is only cute when I do it in live blogs!
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Did the little Alpine climber fall off the cliff?
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Cassel completes back-to-back passes of 20+ yards. This is indeed a disturbing universe.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Huge pushoff by Moss and Dierdorf violently defends him. Patriots hate RISING
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:47 pm
So does the NFL itself have a hardon for the Jets/Favre?
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Randy Moss finally justifies his first round fantasy selections in leagues around the globe.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:52 pm
FUCK KEVIN CURTIS. I’ve never started a white wide receiver before, and I’m never doing it again.
/wishes he had played Ginn.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Seriously, CBS. Get fucked and go the the Pats/Phins game.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Welp. The Ravens won, so all of their fans who conveniently disappeared after last week will show their faces again.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Also Buffalo has dropped 54 on KC with a ton of clock left. And guess which primary receiver hasn’t caught a TD?
Fuck you, Lee Evans.
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:57 pm
How the hell is there so much time left in the Philly game? Extra quarter?
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:01 pm
4-5 MIA13 (7:12) S.Gostkowski 30 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-L.Paxton, Holder-C.Hanson. Penalty on MIA-C.Crowder, Unsportsmanlike Conduct, offsetting. Penalty on NE-M.Light, Unsportsmanlike Conduct, offsetting. Both, MIA52 – Crowder, Channing and PAT72 – Light, Matt are ejected.
Fags
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Give the ball to Westbrook!!
Not your 2nd string QB!!
Serves you right Philly
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:10 pm
It’s gonna be real interesting to see what kind of starter Cassel is next year for a team that doesn’t have Welker and Moss. My guess is “slightly subpar.”
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Trent Edwards. Throws for two touchdowns, runs for another two, has 37 points and is on the bench because I thought Eli Manning would be a better option. Fuck his inconsistent douchiness.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Still, I guess you can’t have jeers without cheers, so cheers to Ed Reed, the man who would be Meast.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Well, nice to hear that Brandon Jacobs isn’t starting. My fantasy team is officially fucked this week.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:25 pm
I saw Ed Reed’s pick-six. Holy shit, that was unbelievable- the effort on Reed’s part and the total lack of effort on the Eagles’ part.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:28 pm
It’s awbvious that Mattie Cassel is the Meast of the Week fahr ya queeah site. NO ONE DENIES THIS.
He almost made that dahkie Moss look like Tawmmy’s Moss again! Cassel is getting comfahtable tellin’ that dahkie what to do, so he didn’t have to ovahuse WELKAHHH, who actually had a pretty quiet game by his standahds–only eight catches fah a hundred and twenty yahds. A little disappointed they took WELKAHHH out of the offense like that, but even a supaheruh needs a day off.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:32 pm
@porky – Not enough dipping and douchebag antics in that speech. Otherwise, good work.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:34 pm
My God, you’re right, IrishCream.
Addendum, somewhere in the middle:
(Gets shamrock tattoo on back of neck.)
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:50 pm
mwprjoitdptbsxihwell, hi admin adn people nice forum indeed. how’s life? hope it’s introduce branch ;)