Mike Ditka, wearing a goofy pilgrim-style cap, was whining this morning about the quality of the annual Thanksgiving match-ups — due in large part to the inclusion of perennial chumpstains the Detroit Lions. Truth be told, I am perfectly happy with shitty Thanksgiving games. When I’m stuck in the boonies listening to a second cousin by marriage whose name I don’t remember yammering about the finer points of rebuilding the transmission on a ’76 El Camino, I can sit in rapt attention to just about any crap game. Save the marquee games on Sunday afternoons.
Speaking of marquee, the Jets and Titans headline today’s early offerings. Just when I thought ESPN couldn’t get any gayer for Brett Favre, I saw Greg Garber soliciting accounts of Brett Favre slapping the asses of unwitting teammates and coaches. Now Berman is sooooo jealous of Nick Mangold. After that brutal piece, I am praying for a monster game from the Titan’s front four.
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mwprjoitdptbsxihwell, hi admin adn people nice forum indeed. how’s life? hope it’s introduce branch ;)
My God, you’re right, IrishCream.
Addendum, somewhere in the middle:
(Gets shamrock tattoo on back of neck.)
@porky – Not enough dipping and douchebag antics in that speech. Otherwise, good work.
It’s awbvious that Mattie Cassel is the Meast of the Week fahr ya queeah site. NO ONE DENIES THIS.
He almost made that dahkie Moss look like Tawmmy’s Moss again! Cassel is getting comfahtable tellin’ that dahkie what to do, so he didn’t have to ovahuse WELKAHHH, who actually had a pretty quiet game by his standahds–only eight catches fah a hundred and twenty yahds. A little disappointed they took WELKAHHH out of the offense like that, but even a supaheruh needs a day off.
I saw Ed Reed’s pick-six. Holy shit, that was unbelievable- the effort on Reed’s part and the total lack of effort on the Eagles’ part.
Well, nice to hear that Brandon Jacobs isn’t starting. My fantasy team is officially fucked this week.
Still, I guess you can’t have jeers without cheers, so cheers to Ed Reed, the man who would be Meast.
Trent Edwards. Throws for two touchdowns, runs for another two, has 37 points and is on the bench because I thought Eli Manning would be a better option. Fuck his inconsistent douchiness.
It’s gonna be real interesting to see what kind of starter Cassel is next year for a team that doesn’t have Welker and Moss. My guess is “slightly subpar.”
Give the ball to Westbrook!!
Not your 2nd string QB!!
Serves you right Philly
4-5 MIA13 (7:12) S.Gostkowski 30 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-L.Paxton, Holder-C.Hanson. Penalty on MIA-C.Crowder, Unsportsmanlike Conduct, offsetting. Penalty on NE-M.Light, Unsportsmanlike Conduct, offsetting. Both, MIA52 – Crowder, Channing and PAT72 – Light, Matt are ejected.
Fags
How the hell is there so much time left in the Philly game? Extra quarter?
Also Buffalo has dropped 54 on KC with a ton of clock left. And guess which primary receiver hasn’t caught a TD?
Fuck you, Lee Evans.
Welp. The Ravens won, so all of their fans who conveniently disappeared after last week will show their faces again.
Seriously, CBS. Get fucked and go the the Pats/Phins game.
FUCK KEVIN CURTIS. I’ve never started a white wide receiver before, and I’m never doing it again.
/wishes he had played Ginn.
Randy Moss finally justifies his first round fantasy selections in leagues around the globe.
So does the NFL itself have a hardon for the Jets/Favre?
Huge pushoff by Moss and Dierdorf violently defends him. Patriots hate RISING
Cassel completes back-to-back passes of 20+ yards. This is indeed a disturbing universe.
Did the little Alpine climber fall off the cliff?
Goddammit Dolphins, the Price is Right fail music is only cute when I do it in live blogs!
That’s it. Fuck Roy Williams, I’m starting Ginn next week. God damn Roy needs to be fucked in the ass with a rusty pitchfork.
Second Memo to the Vikings:
Thank you for observing the new policy.
Haslett was going to kick the field goal, and the fans, Trent Green, and (not that he heard it) Stockton/Balldinger are completely up in arms. They get all over him about it. He goes for it: First down, interception, irony.
CBS can switch from the Jets’ blow out anytime now.
Memo to the Vikings:
Next time could you go ahead and score a touchdown instead of a field goal when you’re on their 4 yard-line, you Red Zone-raping assholes?
And that’s the dahkie pawthead, Faulk!
Welkah with a sixty faah yaaaad gain
THAT”S MY BOY WELKAH!
I am a very straight man, but if Matt Forte keeps this up, I would gladly be his whore.
Ooh…you started Westy today? Ouch.
I hate you Westbrook, almost as much as I hate Lee Evans and Willis McGahee…
Cue the ‘The Titans just needed a loss’ story for Peter King. Bonus points if he says that the Pats needed one last year to avoid the distractions of history. Yeah, cause history made Asante drop the perfect season clinching gift from Elisha.
Mercury Morris, please pick up the courtesy phone lodged in your rectum
Balldinger just said that the Rams have to rebuild Marc Bulger. Not rebuild the team with him. Not rebuild without him. They have to rebuild Marc Bulger, the person. The way Kurt Warner has been rebuilt. I think Balldinger’s been watching a bit too much of the Six Million Dollar Man.
“And the kick…successful!” You sound like a dick, Stockton.
“Under 50 percent completion rate in terms of completing his passes…”
I hate my TV.
Trent Edwards with his second rushing TD of the day. What is this bizarro world we’re living in today? Coming up at 4pm, Kurt Warner rushes for 37yds and 3 TDs without fumbling once. That’s when erotic asphyxiation turns into hanging yourself.
More annoying than the Wildcat is the announcer bromides that follow any team other than the Dolphins using it:
“Well, it’s a copycat league…”
Or did he just have to get his muffins out of the oven?
McNabb get benched?
CHESTER TAYLOR IS NOT A FUCKING GOAL LINE BACK
Can’t see the game but did Brad Childress get hair plugs and feels all bold and confident now or something??
“Last Play: 3-2-JAC 8(8:26) C.Taylor up the middle to JAX 15 for -7 yards (D.Harvey).”
Someone tell me it was even worse than I imagined.
Mike Singletary now looks too much like a light-skinned Tracy Morgan for me to take him seriously. And to get blown out by a Cowboys team that just looks AWFUL is another strike against him.
Apparently the Pats D is still in the locker room.
Sprint got nothin’ on the Verizon Blackberry Storm.
IT MAKES CLICKING NOISES LIKE A REAL KEYBOARD.
/SHITTING PANTS
So Terry McAulay really shat the bed on that punt. “Oh you mean Lance Briggs wasn’t on the field??? SHIT I mean the Rams’ #55. Quick, quick, get the offense off the field, and replay the down before anyone realizes that I’m white-blue color blind.”
To Sprint CEO Dan Hesse:
Fuck you, it’s a phone. Get the Hell out of my TV. Oh, and once again, fuck you.
I wonder if Ron Turner found some more creative plays in his car seat during halftime. Otherwise, we’re fucked with Run up the gut, run up the gut, 3 yard out pattern, punt.
The Ravens are just good enough that they can carry two kickers on their roster. No receivers though
Trent Edwards, Chad Pennington and Matt Cassel. All three of those white supremacist pole smokers have a rushing TD now.
Meanwhile Adrian Peterson has six fucking carries…
Dierdorf: “You know what Bill Belichick’s halftime speech is going to be about … the ‘p’ word and the ‘t’ word.”
(weird silence)
Dierdorf: “Penalties and turnovers.”
…
Ah, thanks, Dan. Thought you were talking about pussy and tits. Appreciate the clarification.
The unholy blasphemy of not starting Purple Jesus is giving me stigmata. Borrowed time, Childress…..borrowed time.
Where the fuck is Jason Witten .. did Peter King kidnap his red zone abilities?
Sweet baby Jesus! Demps just made mockery of the love on for the Ravens. He hehee
One of the gayest looking defensive coordinators I’ve ever seen.
I wonder if Donovan knows that Thanksgiving often ends in a pie?
/sorry.
That was a sweet catch .. Wilcox
So I’m watching this on like a 30 minute DVR delay, but is anyone else sick of the fact that no official in this league knows how to call a chopblock???
Alex Brown gets by his blocker and then as Stockton and Balldinger put it is “cut” from behind. Yeah…when it happens from behind it’s a fucking chop block. Alex Brown left the game with a leg injury. Offenses are gonna keep doing this shit until some official pays attention and calls it and makes it hurt a little.
Matty Cassel is your MVP. no, not really, but he’s making himself very rich this off-season.
What a cluster fuck
Ah no, stupid lateral by Ed Reed
Did McNabb just force a fumble after his own pick?
THIRD PICK
Even Marmalard is impressed with the floater that Joe Flacco just threw.
Ah the Lions losing, that feels right.
I won’t deny that Wisconsin has many fatties, but eating Brats and drinking beer will do that. But Heather Graham is from Milwaukee, and Roller Girl is a seminal moment in film history. heh
And I remember something from last week that leads me to believe that although the Packers suck, the Bears are worse…
Matt Forte is gonna single-handedly win me my fantasy game this week. Or should the credit be given to the Porous Rams D? Whatever, I’ll take the points.
You know what they say about quarterbacks with big hands?
They say that Peter King has to take icebaths for the next week.
JABAAAHHHHH is the daaaahkie WELKAH
The Packers suck. Wisconsin has the ugliest women in the country.
The more taste league makes me stabby.
HOLY SHIT THAT ASS THREW ANOTHER INTERCEPTION. GD IT.
0-0/ awesome. Ball back in Philly’s oh so competent control. Thanks Yoyo!