Everybody wanna listen when Ed Hochuli screws the Chargers, when Ed Hochuli miss a Reggie Bush facemask pull but DON’T NOBODY wanna listen when Ed Hochuli put on his screw-you shoes and lay the pipe to Joey Porter’s Dolphins. Where’s the integrity of the game?

FIX THE INTEGRITY OF YO GAME!

Officiating, like the Dow Jones, is falling to all-time lows. Joey Porter sees a connection. That’s why we need a Joey Porter referee bailout plan. And that plan is you make Joey Porter special guest referee. Mike Tyson got to do it at Wrestlemania a while back and he told it was the easiest shit he ever did that didn’t involve pushing a bitch down the stairs.

First thing first. Gonna have to be some changes to the referee uniform. I’mma need a striped half shirt to wear, maybe you could lose the sleeves for me too. And instead of throwing flags, I release my pit bulls on offending players. They make sure to bite where your pads ain’t!

THEY GONE FIX YO MOUF!

I guarantee you won’t be seeing any more of Richie Incognito mouthing off to the zebras. That mouth get fixed with the quickness. And Joey Porter ain’t gonna blow no play dead before the ball come loose. Joey Porter gone let ‘em play UNTIL the ball come loose. Then he gonna award possession to whichever team that remembers to show him some RESPECT!

On this much we agree: Something gotta be done about these refs. They don’t even blind offensive linemen with weighted flags no more. Thems was the days. Made it that much easier to get to the quarterback. Joey Porter the referee make sure to blind every lineman. You take that shit to the bank, even if every bank is broke. Joey gone fix them next!