Jeff Fisher: [pumps fist] Get a load of us! Five and oh! How’s that for a best-ever start in franchise history?

Keith Bulluck: It takes real leadership to head a stalwart defense like this. It takes fighting with your teammates on the field with conviction. And if anyone needs Cortland Finnegan, depending on his spatial skills and his aptitude for fighting bears, he should be back in three to four days.

Kyle Vanden Bosch: Yeah I can’t tell you how great it is to finally – Argh, my groin!

Lendale White: [Rack of lamb hanging out of mouth] Mhmmarph mmmrom gglggrraaa haaapppon mmmonnfff ooogggon Kansas City.

Jeff Fisher: Hey, hey. I don’t want to hear one bit of that. That’s the same Kansas City team that knocked off a then-beaten Broncos club a few weeks back. We got two weeks to prepare for this game and we got to take it seriously. [Pumps fist]

Kerry Collins: [Mimics farting sound] Haaaaaaaaaaaa! That never gets old. Used to use that one to break up the tension in the Panthers’ locker room after I called all my teammates shiftless negroids.

So when’re we gonna start getting a little sloppy in here? Held onto to some wicked shit from our trip to Baltimore. C’mon! Let’s crank it up!

Vince Young: [Quietly, but shirtlessly, picks the petals off a flower and lets them slowly drift to the ground]

Jeff Fisher: Easy. Eeeeeeasy. Like I said, 5-0 is a fine start, but we got unfinished business to attend to, am I right?

[Leads team in fist pumping]

Chris Johnson:Yeah! I got a touchdown vulture to shed!

Rob Bironas: I still have to kill The Knack and Chris Berman!

Bo Scaife: As a member of the Titans’ offense, I’m completely at the beck and call of the defense. We got a first down, you guys. That’s an extra three plays of rest you got. And people say this team is one-sided.

Lendale: Coogonk Taaromn Oooonmmg Erreeeof Playoffs!

Collins: I tell ya, I love you dumb excitable tar babies with all of my bourbon-stained heart.

[Keith Bulluck fist pumps him in the kidney]