The Clouds Are Parting! Everything’s Gonna Be All Right! It’s The Era of Good Feelings!
Mood: Buoyant??????
Song: “Bad Days,” The Flaming Lips
The Phillies are on the verge of ending the 25-year Philly title drought. It’s gonna happen! I’m so deliriously not sad that I could venture -get this! – outside the house. Look at all the cool stuff out here. Sunshine! Birds! People not conspiring to make my life miserable! Where’s all this been?
I’m almost…wait, hold the phone. The sides of my mouth, extending in at upwards angle? Can it do that? Are the legends true?
As much as I know the Rays are a tough team, recent history is on the Phillies’ side. This decade has repeatedly awarded long-suffering franchises. The Red Sox and the White Sox got theirs. Sure, the Indians the Cubs got turned back in the post-season, but there’s precedent! Sweet, sweet precedent.
C’mon Hamels! You gotta do this one for me, Chutley! I can’t go back to putting all my hopes on the Iggles. Andy Reid is trying to kill me. I have better luck with girls than he does with goal line offense. I hammer it in more often. Oh God, how sweet it will be. A title will give the lease on life I need to be such an abject pussy. It’s true! I know! But things are changing!
Goddamit Fightins’ You have to do this. DeSean Jackson is the kind of tard who would drop a gun at a crime scene. The Flyers will find a way to fuck it up. Oh no, darkness is descending again. Back in the house! Back in the house!
Tags: jinx jinx jinx, the emo eagles, xmas ape
October 21st, 2008 at 1:43 pm
I have better luck with girls than he does with goal line offense. I hammer it in more often.
But they don’t apologize afterwards and then cry
October 21st, 2008 at 1:51 pm
The only people I see this ending well for are Samantha and Mathias
October 21st, 2008 at 1:53 pm
I have better luck with girls than he does with goal line offense. I hammer it in more often.
they don’t wait for the girl to wake up either
October 21st, 2008 at 1:55 pm
“DeSean Jackson is the kind of tard who would drop a gun at a crime scene” – that’s the exact reason why I picked him up in fantasy. I needed a little trouble in my lineup, too many Elam’s and Warner’s if you catch my drift.
October 21st, 2008 at 1:55 pm
flamboyant as his current mood sounds more apt
October 21st, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I have better luck with girls than he does with goal line offense. I hammer it in more often.
I knew Daulerio wasn’t telling us the whole truth about his date with Linda Cohn.
October 21st, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Do not go out of your house if the Phillies win. I expect a riot and you will not fare well.
October 21st, 2008 at 2:22 pm
I almost want the Fwiwees to win so that this emotional shitbag can go outside and try to make some moves on a chick just to get DENIED stamped on his forehead. Then to have him go curl up in the fetal position on his bed listening to some emo music while Philadelphia quickly burns to the ground from the celebration.
IT. CAN. HAPPEN.
October 21st, 2008 at 2:24 pm
lol, like the Phillies stand a fucking chance.
October 21st, 2008 at 2:24 pm
“DeSean Jackson is the kind of tard who would drop a gun at a crime scene”
Isn’t that what you want to do, though? You don’t want to get caught later with a murder weapon.
…but I guess this all depends on planning out the shooting enough to buy an unregistered gun and cover your fingerprints, not firing it randomly in a strip club when someone says you have to start buying drinks.
October 21st, 2008 at 2:26 pm
C’mon Philly, you know deep down in your hearts that God is merely drawing back His mighty junk, preparing for the Almighty cock-smacking He shall be delivering to your faces in His infinite wisdom.
October 21st, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Ape,
Take your jinx and cram it in your peehole.
October 21st, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Take your jinx and cram it in your peehole.
Dude, Ape calls that “foreplay”.
October 21st, 2008 at 2:41 pm
I guess you’ve finished masturbating to that Hines Ward blocking video by now.
October 21st, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Phils win in six, thanks.
October 21st, 2008 at 3:01 pm
I guess you’ve finished masturbating to that Hines Ward blocking video by now.
Not finished. Just on a break.
October 21st, 2008 at 3:01 pm
sorry if this has been addressed, but the last four or five days, this site sucks for loading.
October 21st, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Did that kid just call us Emos?
October 21st, 2008 at 3:39 pm
baseball? thefuck?
October 21st, 2008 at 3:45 pm
I’m massively worried that if the Phillies win, the Philly fans will make Tommy from Quinzee seem like a fine, upstanding young citizen in comparison…
October 21st, 2008 at 4:00 pm
NMC,
Perhaps we will, but with a much less annoying accent.
October 21st, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Jerramy Stevens couldn’t make Tommy from Quinzee looks like a fine upstanding citizen.
/ok, he could. but fuck them both.
October 21st, 2008 at 4:53 pm
NMC,
They already do, only without the championships to brag about.
October 21st, 2008 at 6:18 pm
I cant wait to riot, personally.
Also, the fags (oops, they told me I cant say fags anymore at work, sorry…) AHEM, I mean homosexual-lovers-of the-penis in the picture dont accurately depict Eagles fans. Despite the vintage jacket, I would still throw a cup of piss at them at a tailgate.
October 21st, 2008 at 6:19 pm
…and yes, Jeff Garcia is the only one of ‘those’ people we will ever stand up for.
October 21st, 2008 at 10:11 pm
If the Bucs beat the Cowboys this weekend, can we have a Gay Zorro/Double-J/Chubtard crossover?
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:26 pm
HEY ape is that you and your “life partner”?