The Buzzsaw Tramp Stamp Has Its Work Cut Out For It
State Farm unveiled a second version of it’s “Feeling Kinda Sunday” ad today (okay, it was new to me) that included this quick cut of a girl with a Buzzsaw bullseye on the small of her back. See, it’s things like these that make Kurt Warner wanna hang it up. I’d say the Cards don’t have much of a prayer (sorry again, Kurt) but after seeing the Rams pick up their first win today, who knows what the late games will bring? Hopefully a watchable game. Denver and Jacksonville likely provides the best chance of that.
Speaking of the back end non sequiturs, the girl from the omnipresent Lowe’s ad does all right for herself.
Update: YYYYEEEEEE HAAAAAAWWWW I AM FUCKING DEJECTED!
Tags: open thread, the buzzsaw that is the arizona cardinals
October 12th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
The elastic on the waistband of those pants might have its work cut out for it soon.
October 12th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
What the hell was that gay little grin the ref gave Romo going to the commercial break?!?
October 12th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
nice work by the refs in Arizona. Hoculi is spreading like a disease.
October 12th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
And yes the ass on the Lowes girl caught my eye!
I’d like to screw a bulb in her lamp!
HEYOOOOO!
Who’s your lumberjack now, baby!
October 12th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
When you read it really quickly, “back end non sequitur” starts to look like “back end squirt,” which TOTALLY changes the meaning of Ape’s post.
Also, have you seen the ill coke-eyes on MarHar during his 67-yarder? He looks like he just got out of Brotherly City.
October 12th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Damn dem Cardinals sure do know how ta masturbate the ball down da feel quick
October 12th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Oh, so the refs get a fumble call right when it goes against ‘Zona?
Is Hochuli doing this game?
October 12th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
ROMO IS A GODDAMN FUMBLING STAR!!!
October 12th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
hey dat JamMarcus Russel pick be lookin good for dem Buttraiders!
October 12th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Hey, what’s the spread on Tom Cable’s coaching career or how many weeks until Count Al bites his ass in da neck?
October 12th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
This Dallas/Arizona game is going to fucking suck.
October 12th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Kurt Warner, “The Myrrhslinger.”
Aw, dadgummit, I’m goin’ deep.
October 12th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Hey…holem shit…Houston won! They fucking won! Hahahaha! Good for them!
October 12th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Edge has positive play from scrimmage = offensive penalty. This math is irrefutable.
October 12th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Pacman playin. Pacman down wid it.
Pacman also down wid dat Lowe’s girls big fat booty. He gon slide up on it and pepper sprayz it lik Pacman was wid da police. Den we gon drank!
October 12th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Man they should just change this shit from the NFL to the RFL. Fucking Refs have fucked up practically every fucking game today. You know there’s some serious fucking bets going down somewhere…this shit is fucking ridiculous!
October 12th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
The Hochuli is spreading.
October 12th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Wade Phillips running out and throwing that challenge flag was the saddest thing I have seen in quite a while
October 12th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
It looked like he knows he’s fired after this season, and he just doesn’t give a shit anymore.
October 12th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Did Fox just have the dancing robot hitting baseballs during a break for a football game?
For shame.
October 12th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
I think they started during the NLDS, Ape. I agree — it’s like having Bud Dry shoot free throws.
October 12th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Man, I just can’t get enough of those More Taste League commercials, John C. McGinley is hilarizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
October 12th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
At least now we know Tony Homo is in fact gay. there’s no way he hasn’t slept with the refs at the hotel last night.
Fuck you Romo that’s 3 fumbles and 7 points given up for those of us not living in this bizarro world where refs desecrate the sport in which they are supposed to enforce order. fucking assholes.
/giants fan
//a little ticked
October 12th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
The Cards should be up by two scores right now.
October 12th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
I too am a Giants fan, but even I acknowledge that Romo wrecks more tang than a parched astronaut.
That said, yes, the calls have been abysmal — in fact, MDS wondered at Fanhouse if the first missed fumble was the worst call of the year. We’re through the post-Hochuli looking glass, folks.
October 12th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Hmm — Olympic sensation Shawn Johnson with her hair down doing some slightly sessy floor routines on ABC. The only thing preventing tumescence is the Lenny Kravitz song, frankly.
October 12th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Bout fuckin damn time!
October 12th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
two horrible horrible calls making a 14 point differential in the game, possibly more if arizona had capitalized on the fumble they didn’t get. can’t wait for goodell to try and talk his way out of this damn nightmare
@devine: not getting the astronaut reference. who said there’s no poon in space?
October 12th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
MJD gets some burnination on the Broncos’ D.
October 12th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
ABC has some “Frosted Pink” thing on with Sharon Osborne…
I assume it’s for breast cancer, but why’d they have to make it so… gay?
October 12th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
A Mile High Salute AND a wink from MJD? Quit stealing Palin’s shtick!
October 12th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Lions were thoroughly fucked over by the refs today. Shockingly enough.
That piece of shit Darren Sharper almost fucking killed Calvin Johnson. True the Dikings scored more points, but the Refs are the ones that beat the lions. I hope to Gods that Marinelli or someone on the team rips that officiating team a second asshole.
October 12th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
@Ocho Cinco Fan Club: It was intended as a Tang joke; clearly it wasn’t well constructed enough. My bad.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
@Devine: It was constructed fine, and funny. Ocho maybe just didn’t know what astronauts drank back in the day.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Awww, thanks, David. Who knew a KSK open thread could make me feel so warm and fuzzy? You guys really are the best commenters on the Internet.
Also, Miles fucking Austin? Seriously? God, EVERYTHING about the Cowboys infuriates me.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Oh, lord. TWO copies of the UPS douchebag in ONE commercial? Ugh.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
I always have trouble taking Ken Whisenhunt seriously as a head coach, because he looks like he should be an anonymous throwaway cop on an episode of SVU.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Oh, and speaking of commercials: The United Way….
Little girl: “Eli Manning showed us how to grip the balls.”
I’m sure he did.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
How the fuck do you add an avatar?
October 12th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
http://en.gravatar.com/
Register here.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Aikman: “I’m a little confused as to why J.J. Arrington hasn’t figured more into the offense through the first five games of this season.”
SEE: The 3.1 YPC average he’s piled up in his career
October 12th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
@devine: yea i’m jus too much of a young ‘un for the reference.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
The refs want to steal Fitzy’s crackers.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
did i just hea an apology for using the word hood? wow.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
Gotta love those pants that zip in the back.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
FITZY!
October 12th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Am I the only one that thinks it looks like LT is running through a fortress of dildos in that Nike commercial?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlXRengzZoc (:31)
October 12th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
MEMO TO BAD TEAMS PLAYING GOOD TEAMS:
Please stop using ludicrous onside kicks at completely absurd moments in the game as an “element of surprise” play. Thanks.
Signed,
Fans of Other Good Teams in Your Opponents’ Divisions
October 12th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
The Seahawk defense looks like tissue paper in the 2nd half.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Romo is a perpetual fumbling machine
October 12th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
“Romo is a perpetual fumbling machine”
Maybe Eli Manning should show him how to grip balls.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Thanks Ape, I wasn’t sure if anyone remembered David the Gnome, thus the avatar.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
devine, it is almost absurd how accurately you are reading my mind.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
The ‘boys need double j on the sideline – stat!
October 12th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
The Rams beat the Redskins. The 49ers lead the Iggles and the Cards just went up on the Cowboys.
I think we can officially bury the notion of the NFC East being the best division EVAH.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Earlier today:
Warner: “Then everybody stands up from their pew and forms a line. They walk up to the altar, where if they’re of age, they’re given a sip from the chalice containing the blood of Christ, and a wafer that is the body of…”
Fitty (interrupting): “Hold up. A wafer? They’re just givin’ out delicious wafers?”
Warner: “Well, yes. It’s so, so important that all parishioners partake of the body of…”
Fitty (interrupting): “You hit this spot Sundays, right?”
Warner (impatient): “Yes, I’ve told you that, every Sunday.”
Fitty: “I catch a coupla touchdowns, you bring me with you after the game and I can cop some wafers?”
Warner: “… Sure, Larry. You can ‘cop’ the body of Christ with me.”
October 12th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
@Ape: This is why I’m trying to keep my head on straight as a Giants fan … they should have won every game they have so far, and they haven’t played anyone they shouldn’t beat yet, so let’s keep a lid on the nonsense.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Ape- It’ll be even funnier if the Browns beat the G-Men later.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Ape, had that thought, and realized that as much as a matter of pride it is to know your team is the best team in the strongest division, its much more comforting to have the NFC Beast dethroned knowing that the road to the playoffs is getting easier as we speak.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
DavidtheUnderpantsGnome:
Holy shit, I remember that show. I remember one episode his wife said that he didn’t like the taste of his vitamins, so in retaliation she put the vitamins in his food so he wouldn’t notice. What a bitch.
/end randomness
Fuck the Cowboys!
COCK!
October 12th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Watching Charlie Frye try to lead a fourth-quarter comeback is like watching the fry cook at McDonald’s trying to make a Baked Alaska.
October 12th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
@SonofDad: David the Gnome is from my childhood innocence, and the Underpants Gnomes are from when South Park (and George Carlin (Rest in Motherfucking Peace)) thankfully robbed me of my naivety.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Fitzy is owning shit.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
If memory serves, David the Gnome was voiced by Mr. Cunningham, no?
October 12th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
fitzy is PUMPING ME UP
now get another td asshole
October 12th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
You can’t review whether a field goal actually made it? Who writes the rulebook, ed fucking hochilly?
October 12th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
@Devine: It appears you’re right, but was it a spanish language show first? IMDB calls it David El Gnomo…
October 12th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
@Cassels: They just changed that rule this year. You should be able to review it. What game is that in?
October 12th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
The Niners challenged the Eagles’ go-ahead kick
October 12th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
@DavidtheUnderpantsGnome: I only remember the English version on Nick Jr. from when I was a lad.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Wow. To rip off Matt Moore, MBIII just went Nova.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
And if Troy Aikman keeps saying “as what” when he should just be saying “as,” I’m going to lose my fucking mind.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
I wish they’d stop showing sideline shots of Andy Reid, it’s distracting me from drinking
October 12th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
did brian russell just sub into the cards’ secondary for that play?
FUCK
October 12th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Aikman: “He continuously continues to make poor tackles.”
October 12th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
By the way, what the fuck reason would Leonard Davis have to be spiteful toward Arizona and their fans? You shit the bed as the #2 overall pick, experience a modicum of success elsewhere, and return to “stick it to” the team that paid you giant money to suck dick? Sometimes I fucking HATE sports.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Game’s in the hands of the Arizona defense. Or, as Interpol famously called them, “slow hands.”
October 12th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
“It’s time for Romo to perform the Magic.” Does he have magic hands?
October 12th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
There is no chance the ‘Boys don’t at least score 3 here, right? I mean, it is STILL the CARDINALS.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
The Cards managed to hold MBIII under 70 yards on that screen. Maybe they have a shot after all.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Stupid penalties are an Arizona speciality.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Do you think Warner’s wife does anal? How about on him with a dildo?
October 12th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Tick, tick, tick
October 12th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Wait a second — wasn’t it 3rd and 11? So shouldn’t the spike have been 4th down?
October 12th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
NOW what? The end of this game is a serious clusterfuck.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Didn’t they get the first down?
October 12th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Sorry, I’m an idiot.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
I’m just walking into bonus coverage after a donkey-suck Seahawks-Packers game. This one looks like it’s been much better.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
This game is classic NFC clusterfuck
October 12th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Nice free time-out for the Cowboys too.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
Pete Morelli is a dipshit of the highest order. He’s the guy who overturned the Polamalu interception (and had to apologize days later) in the Colts-Steelers ‘05 playoff game.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
If he was down on the field and hurt, then they should take the five yards from Dallas but give them about five more seconds, right?
And not kicking a field goal here is just…WTF?
October 12th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Holy shit, this is a five minute stoppage in play
October 12th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
10 says he shorts it.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
20
October 12th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
What. The. Fuck.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
You have got to be fucking kidding me. has NFL officiating taken a brain shit this year?
October 12th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
Whisenhunted!!!
October 12th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
jesus fuck snake.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Isn’t that back-to-back timeouts? Isn’t that a penalty?
No way he misses now.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Romo’s not holding?
October 12th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
I hate this rule. I absolutely cannot say enough how much I fucking hate the practice of calling timeout one second before the field goal try.
Holy shit! What a kick!
October 12th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
+20 to SaveUs.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Ken Whisenhunt:
This is why you couldn’t be our head coach.
Yours,
Steelers fan
October 12th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
damn Wade, mix in a salad and a little bench work.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
I’m so glad the Cardinals got pwned by their own timeout. Although I DO want them to win….
October 12th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Overtime ? It’s already Monday!
Whizz on Whisen! HA
October 12th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
That replay of Wade’s bitch tits jiggling will haunt me tonight. Thanks Fox…
October 12th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
what the hell? fuck this game.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Notice how the cowboys had smiles on their faces during the coin toss? Is this fixed?
October 12th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
hmm i’m wondering if the cardinals wish the refs hadn’t fucked up 8 plays in the first half….
October 12th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
Awsome kick!! Would have been good from like 52 and a half yds. … easy!
October 12th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
The NFL competition commitee really has get on this last-second-time-out-on-a-field-goal shit. It’s a savvy move, but it’s still a dick move.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
cassel: maybe the smiles are for the second chance they just got to win a game they should have lost by a couple of touchdowns.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
cassels- the cowboys have smiles on their faces because there’s no way they should have been able to force OT down 24-14 with 3 min. to play. They’re playing with house money right now. The Cardinals feel like they’ve already choked the game away.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
This game is further proof that God is a vengeful omnipotent deity
October 12th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Ken the genius Wizenedcunt.
TMQ wrote game over in his notebook, then erased it.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Did Romo graduate from the Rex Grossman School of Ball Security or what?
October 12th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
hahahaha
October 12th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Wafers for everyone!
October 12th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Wowowowowoowowowow
October 12th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
/Spit take.
Budweiser on computer screen
October 12th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Leitch’s girl is gonna be sore tonight.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
The kicker laying on the ground in pain. A fitting end for a fucked football game
October 12th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Romo shits the bed with fumble after fumble, and you just know that the punter will be blamed for the loss. I fucking hate people sometimes.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
BUZZSAW
October 12th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Quite an opening drive, Dallas
October 12th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
The suckitude level from Dallas today partially offsets the pain of the slightly-less gut punching Skins loss.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
So was that turn of events more or less devastating for Dallas fans than the revelation of House’s shocking secret in light of the death of his father?
I’m going to go with “more.”
October 12th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
No, god just has a sense of humor apparently
October 12th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
WILL LEITCH IS ENGORGED!
October 12th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Ooh, that has to hurt. Suck it, Cowboys fans.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Cowboys trainwreck right on sched!
October 12th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Now let’s hear TO’s take…
“That’s my team mate. That’s my punter.”
October 12th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Romo is the man!!!
October 12th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
TO thinks he should’ve punted the ball
October 12th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Lowe’s chick!
October 12th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Belichick has the hoodie on. Release the hounds.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
I blame Pacman.
October 12th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
The NFC East is still the BESTEVEREST right?
October 12th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
All right, gang, I’m out. Thanks for playing along, and enjoy your evenin’ game.
October 12th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
I’m starting to think that when they grade the refs every week, they use the ol’ Bell curve method. The boys all love Eddie two guns and this way they all get C’s.
October 12th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Eat shit, Dallas.
October 13th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Aikman: “He continuously continues to make poor tackles.”
I couldn’t believe he said that. How does he keep a job when he can’t speak? Fuck.