That staph infection has been around Cleveland so long that its kid just got accepted into Case Western.

Kellen Winslow returned to the Browns after a recent hospitalization that generated more than a little speculation. Turns out Winslow was the latest member of the Cleveland Browns to contract a staph infection. Hasn’t this problem has been going on in Cleveland for years? How antiquated is the sanitation up there? Can we get Bono to organize a telethon for these poor Third World bastards?

Winslow is not only pissed that he has contracted staph for the second time with the Browns, but he’s in a snit over the lack of bed-side fretting from GM Phil Savage. The battle-toughened veteran’s steely exterior was no match for the hard-hearted executive. Winslow said he felt like a piece of meat and considered asking for a trade after Savage didn’t check in him while he was in the Cleveland Clinic.

A trade? To one of the many teams clamoring for an under-performing prima donna? With a virulent infection too? I hope Savage intalled a couple dozen extra dedicated phone lines for the volume of calls which are soon to be rolling in.

Next time, Phil, the price of a Pick-Me-Up,TM bouquet will prevent this drama. And get some fucking bleach in that that shithole you call a football complex.

[ via Larry Brown Sports ]