The Adventures Of White People: Teaching The High Five
Alright, Chris, my arm’s up, just like you said. Now what?
Now hold still, Steve, and I’m gonna slap your hand.
Whoa, dude. You’re not slapping anything. Especially my hand.
Stop being a wuss and just hold your hand there. Don’t move it.
Are you gonna slap it hard? I don’t want you to slap it hard.
I’m gonna slap it kinda hard, Steve. You’re supposed to do it hard.
No! Why do you want to slap it?
It’s like…to celebrate. You hold your hand up and I slap it.
But I was the one that made the field goal. Shouldn’t I be the one that gets to slap?
But you don’t know how to do it!
I do so!
Okay, show me.
No, I don’t wanna do it. Slapping hands is dumb.
Quit being a little bitch and just do it.
Why can’t we do what they’re doing?
You know I can’t jump that high. Do you want to slap hands or do you want a faceful of butt?
Fine.
Are you gonna do it?
Yes.
Are you sure?
(sigh) Yes.
Alright, my arm’s still up. Now…slap it!
I can’t.
What?
I gotta go kick off.
Slap my hand, Steve. Just hurry up and do it.
I’ll do it after I kick off, I swear.
GET YOUR BRITTLE ASS BACK HERE AND ACCEPT CONGRATULATIONS LIKE A MAN!
See ya. [Runs off]
Vinatieri woulda high-fived me. Faggot.
Tags: MMP, new england patriots
October 6th, 2008 at 10:13 am
No one wants to high-five a glove hand.
And I think I can see some Hanson cameltoe.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:18 am
This article is the best thing that’s happened to me since the Cowboys won.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:25 am
Tiger Woods could teach them a thing or two
October 6th, 2008 at 10:29 am
Vinatieri woulda given the Niners better field position all day and missed the 49 yarder that iced it. But thanks for the 3 rings, AV. That was kinda awesome.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:31 am
Gostkowski doesn’t fuck on the first date.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:35 am
Also, Junker, never reference a male cameltoe again.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:36 am
Wesley Walker feels left out and is upset.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:39 am
Yet a white guy with pink hair can beat the supposed baddest black man on the planet…
/says ‘Rest In Peace’ to Kimbo Slice’s career
October 6th, 2008 at 11:03 am
What a true reflection of the are of teaching a high five. I was expecting Ocho Cinco to show up and explain it even further. You know he is such a smart guy.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:09 am
I was expecting Ocho Cinco to show up and explain it even further.
Like, how are those guys floating in the second picture?
October 6th, 2008 at 11:50 am
but look those dudes are flying! oh yes they are, how do you know they aren’t? They are off the ground and in the air they have to be flying.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:52 am
last line, perfect.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Yet a white guy with pink hair can beat the supposed baddest black man on the planet…
At least the dude wasn’t gay….that would have made it a thousand times harder to take.
October 6th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
The Redskins should bring back The Fun Bunch. Moss, Randel El, Thomas, Thrash, Kelly, Cooley, and Yoder. That would be awesome.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Kevin Faulk is a very small man. He can only jump that high because he IS that high