Alright, Chris, my arm’s up, just like you said. Now what?

Now hold still, Steve, and I’m gonna slap your hand. 

Whoa, dude. You’re not slapping anything. Especially my hand. 

Stop being a wuss and just hold your hand there. Don’t move it. 

Are you gonna slap it hard? I don’t want you to slap it hard. 

I’m gonna slap it kinda hard, Steve. You’re supposed to do it hard. 

No! Why do you want to slap it?

It’s like…to celebrate. You hold your hand up and I slap it. 

But I was the one that made the field goal. Shouldn’t I be the one that gets to slap? 

But you don’t know how to do it!

I do so!

Okay, show me. 

No, I don’t wanna do it. Slapping hands is dumb. 

Quit being a little bitch and just do it. 

Why can’t we do what they’re doing?

You know I can’t jump that high. Do you want to slap hands or do you want a faceful of butt?

Fine. 

Are you gonna do it?

Yes. 

Are you sure?

(sigh) Yes. 

Alright, my arm’s still up. Now…slap it!

I can’t.

What?

I gotta go kick off. 

Slap my hand, Steve. Just hurry up and do it. 

I’ll do it after I kick off, I swear. 

GET YOUR BRITTLE ASS BACK HERE AND ACCEPT CONGRATULATIONS LIKE A MAN!

See ya. [Runs off]

Vinatieri woulda high-fived me. Faggot.