Six of Weather, Half-Dozen of Boobs
10.24.08
I think we can all agree that football is 200% more awesome in the snow. The NFL is better when it’s a cold-weather game. Snow makes shitty games meaningful. Being able to see linemen’s breath before the snap is, quite simply and for reasons I cannot possibly explain, totally fucking cool.
The drawback to cold-weather football is that it’s unfriendly to the friendliest of NFL employees, our beloved cheerleaders. For whatever reason, as soon as it drops below 50 degrees, they feel the need to wear more than hot pants and halter tops, ignoring the simple truth that they’d stay warm if they just danced harder. Alas, their union reps must have won them the rights to wear things like this:
A quick note for cheerleading squads facing less-than-ideal weather conditions: spandex body stockings: good; shitty windbreakers: shitty.
And so, in the interest of fairness, let us examine a specimen from the lower latitudes.
Like I was saying, football in the snow is total bullshit.
(Top photo from Project 119)
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/horizontal-shower-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/belichick-sweats-150x150.jpg)
Artist’s representation of Kellen Winslow’s man-parts. Testicles actual size.
San Antonio Holmes is bored on his day off, so he traces his junk on the field at Heinz Field.
Feelin’ kinda Sunday….
Like most cheerleaders, they are Grade-A morons
Bovine University
Packers use cheerleaders from local colleges.
Snow is a great smegma substitute.
Also, the only one that I’d say is really attractive is the middle one down the bottom.
I told you, I’m not that witty.
“You’re just lucky I can’t get enough dick jokes in my life.”
Must learn…how to use “slash”…in posts!
/would slash “jokes” from that line if brain wasn’t poked with a q-tip
@cc: You’re just lucky I can’t get enough dick jokes in my life.
That ain’t hair; that’s a C, D, E and a F Section…..
That black chick has a hairier fucking stomach than I do…shit.
that black one has a serious hair problem on her stomach,
thats more than a happy trail
Penis.
/thinks fo Santonio Holmes.
No Emmit, the last thing we need is you masturbating the ball down the feel.
mo black chicks
@Rocco – Go look up photos of Jills on your own time. God knows you waste enough of ours with your shitty comments.
@dave – Apologies. Got it from a GIS of “snow football” or somesuch, and it came up on a site that wasn’t P119. Forgot that came from you.
@Vibrant – We all hate the ads, but not as much as comments about the ads.
I hope they make negative money.
How you fellas liking the totally cool and relevant ads?
@travis henry’s dusty rubbers: You forgot to mention that she’s completely out of sync with her friends there. Slow indeed.
I’d totally go after the one on the right in Pic 2. Easy prey is my game. Pic 1, there’s easy, and then there’s scary.
Yo Caveshizzle, what’ with the $40 undies on the side of the page. You advertising for possible women readers or asian ladyboys. (and don’t tell me “Whoever’s buyin’”)
black girls get tied up in my basement like this,
white girls get tied up in my basement like this…
My God, that middle Dolphins cheerleader is so hot she could get me to drop-kick a kitten if she asked me nicely.
You owe me a million dollars.
No h/t, or whatever the hell goes there?
Actually, I believe that cheerleader is the actress who played Hatchet Face in Jon Waters’ “Cry Baby.”
@ otto man
I’m with you on that. “It” looks like Fran f’n Drescher.
CC you cocksucker. You couldn’t find a hotter Jill to post? You’re making us look bad brother. And I wonder if the Jills are considered NFL employees, seeing that they don’t get paid. WTF? How many hot chicks do you think you’re gonna get to freeze their tits off for free?
Why can’t they just cheer in their skimpy outfits in a self contained climate controlled clear bubble? Upstate Underdog could probably design it with a plunomium 210 nuclear generator that would keep them warm. Unless that is some kind of unstable nucleoisytopiumsynapsaticular molecule that wouldn’t work.
/sorry had to take a shot at ya UU. it’s all good
Yeah, I’m thinking the jacket on that first one might not be a bad thing. Can we get a second windbreaker to cover her face?
the first one from the left of the 2nd pic is cute, but she has this weird happy trail…
Big Forehead? Listless gaze into nothing? The one on the right looks a little…slow.
Yeah that first one is totally a dude.
Can’t there be a team of people, holding fur coats, waiting to wrap-up the cheerleaders right after their “performance?” I mean, if I want to see women wearing windbreakers there’s always the L.L. Bean catalog in the bathroom…
Up in chilly Title Town, the Green Bay Packers don’t have cheerleaders and there’s a reason for it- the women of Wisconsin are morbidly-obese, drunken, revolting, sloppy blobs who sweat gravy and Miller Lite while waiting in line for beer ‘n’ brats. Their best dance routines happen when they’re in cardiac arrest.
snow penis, tranny, yes, yes, no – foreheads too big.