Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week — Week 8
Politics makes people retarded, in an even less pleasant way than how sports makes people retarded. Observe any of the political flame wars that have erupted the last few weeks in the comment threads anytime the election has been mentioned even tangentially.
Most folks have grown tired of the coverage and just want the shit to be done. As a resident of a swing state, I couldn’t agree more. So it was with some bemusement that I saw this post speculating whether sports blogs will endorse candidates. Because if people don’t care who sports stars themselves endorse, they’ll certainly have their ears pinned back to hear what a bunch of dick joke slinging retards have to say about the subject.
Let me be clear: The only thing KSK is endorsing is copious cheerleader pics and running down Tony Kornheiser with your car. But if you must know, I’m voting for Obama, if only to cancel out the vote of fellow VA. resident The Mayor of the Wasilla of Stadiums, who had this bit of preemptive shittalk to air on my homertastic Steelers blog.
The Mayor of FedEx Field
Nice write up! The way you describe things you would think the Steelers were undefeated and the Redskins were yet to win a game.
Reality is, the Washington Redskins have a better record than your Steelers!
And if I needed any more reason to hate the Steelers, your owner Rooney, endorsed Barack Hussein Obama on Monday.
Should be a good game though, here is to no injuries,and a Redskins and McCain victory next week!
Enjoy your obstructed view seats!
Damn our owner Rooney! If he weren’t a forgettable rock band from California, I might like the guy!
See how annoying it is to mix your politics with sports? Let this be a lesson to all of us.
Anyway, your Meast this week is Santana Moss, who had 9 catches for 140 yards, one receiving touchdown and another on a punt return.
But more importantly because if he gets it this week, he can’t possibly win it next week! Bwahahaha!
Tags: Homerism, I plea for no PoFlaWa but know better, Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week, xmas ape
October 30th, 2008 at 11:03 am
But more importantly because if he gets it this week, he can’t possibly win it next week! Bwahahaha!
Portis already called dibs.
October 30th, 2008 at 11:03 am
A lot of white people are afraid that if Obama wins, black people are going to be looking for payback. This fear is completely reasonable and justified. We’re coming, crackers, and we’re gonna take our reparations out of your pasty asses. I’m going to make Jerry Jones my personal dancing monkey. Dance for me, monkey! Dance until your legs fall off and you acknowledge that Irvin committed OPI on every catch he ever made!
October 30th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Nice to see that Greg Oden has something to do as he prepares to sit out for yet another season.
Uh, I mean, TEH CANDIDATE WITH THE MOST EXPERIENCE IS JOHN MCCAIN.. IF U LIBERAL HIPPYS VOTE 4 OBAMA U MUST HATE AMERICA..
…
God, I gave myself a headache just typing that. Nice touch, though, that whoever the fuck wrote that included Obama’s middle name just to drive his point home. I know that I personally punched someone in the dick just the other day for ordering a falafel sandwich at the deli where I get lunch. Not in my city, buddy!
October 30th, 2008 at 11:13 am
Both candidates suck more than Jessica Simpson sucking on Tony Romo’s pinky! My vote goes to Ron Paul and his annoying message that it’s constitutional for Charles Haley to penis smack whoever he wants.
October 30th, 2008 at 11:13 am
@fmra:
What would I get for ordering Baba Ghannouge?
October 30th, 2008 at 11:17 am
This is not an endorsement, nor am I throwing fuel on a PoFlaWa but something tells me that Art Rooney’s grandson, Tom, is very disappointed by that Obama picture. Tom is a pro-life Catholic running for congress in Florida as a republican.
October 30th, 2008 at 11:19 am
I think Obama is going to win, so I’m thinking about becoming a Muslim. Do they take whitey in the Nation of Islam?
October 30th, 2008 at 11:27 am
That Clipse link reminds me of the time I worked at the Best Buy out at Robinson and I had to help Plaxico Burress find that CD. I don’t remmeber if he was supposed to be at a team meeting at the time.
October 30th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Obama just got fined by Goodell for holding up that Steeler’s jersey.
October 30th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Oh Joy, I too wish this season was over. Is it me getting crotchety or is this one uglier than in a while?
And another reason to be excited…just saw at Awful Announcing, both candidates Obama and McCain will be interviewed one on one with CHRIS “I CAN’T SPEAK WITHOUT NICKNAMES IN ITALICS” BERMAN. To be aired at halftime of Monday Night Football.
Fuck. Another reason to keep the tv muted.
Although, it could be fun on the Blogkakke!
October 30th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Having a zero as the first numeral in your jersey number would fucking suck.
October 30th, 2008 at 11:37 am
I don’t understand why anyone would have a problem with a black president. We’ve had tons of fictional black presidents, and as movies and TV are perfect representations of real life, I think America is ready for a black dude in the White House. I only wish Strom Thurmond were still alive to see it.
And if it somehow results in any kind of humiliation of Jerry Jones, all the better.
October 30th, 2008 at 11:37 am
FutureMrs has had contact with someone who ordered a falafel! She hates America by bastardized transitive property!
BURN THE WITCH! BURN HER!
October 30th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Does she weigh more than a duck?
October 30th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Isn’t that Tommy Maddox’s jersey? How soon they forget.
October 30th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
I too am ready for election day to come so we can settle this once and for all
ON THE FIELDIN THE VOTING BOOTH!!!Do you think the candidates talk smack on election day while pointing to the CNN electoral map? SCOREBOARD MUTHAFUCKA!!! SCORE. BOARD.
October 30th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I can’t wait until the election is over so I can go back to not giving a shit about politics.
October 30th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Do you think the candidates talk smack on election day while pointing to the CNN electoral map? SCOREBOARD MUTHAFUCKA!!! SCORE. BOARD.
+1 for that mental image. They really should put presidential candidates in the same room on election night for sheer entertainment value.
October 30th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
@Tracer Bullet —
just leave Denise/John York, Count Al and Belicheat to me. Make no mistake. It’s not revenge i’m after. It’s a reckoning.
October 30th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
I can’t wait until the election is over so I can go back to not giving a shit about politics.
I dunno. I enjoy the election. I’m always one to form devastating snap judgments of people based on one thing they say or do, and at least in an election year I can defend that as “being really passionate about my ideals” or something. Otherwise, fuck, I’m just a judgmental bitch!
October 30th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
And just think, we’re going to get six whole months off before the next presidential campaign begins!
October 30th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
for fucks sake please dont equate Skins fans with…THAT. Guh.
and Tracer Bullet: My honkey ass will dance for you if you allow to beat down JJ for your amusement.
October 30th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Of course the Mayor is for McCain. He’s a used car salesman. Those guys are rolling in bank.
October 30th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
fuck it!
October 30th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
@ StuScott: here here, I am sick of everyone turning into a freaking Poli-Sci major. Someone tell Will Leicht we are all proud he got a B in the one Government class he took at Vasser, but can it already. It is like the dimwit non-fans that are football geniuses when the Super Bowl comes around, “Joe Montana was pretty amazing.. That Troy Aikman sure can….”
October 30th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Come on Ape! Mathias Kiwanuka would like to know why he did not receive the Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week and I’m pretty sure Ben Roethlisberger would agree with that selection.
October 30th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Let’s get out and vote
Let’s make our voices heard
We’ve been given the right to choose
Between a douche and a turd
It’s democracy in action
Put your freedom to the test
A big fat turd or a stupid douche
Which do you like best?
October 30th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
@Animal Mother – That is riegning XFL MVP Tommy Maddox.
@football469 – Tom Rooney is running in my district. And the fact that he is pro-life Catholic will have nothing to do with the outcome. His incumbent opponent (Tim Mahoney) is mired in a sex scandal. His campaign people and P/R Advertising firm fired him. Rooney will win running away. The interesting part is that Tim Mahoney beat Mark Foley last election, and his issues are well documented.
/dick joke.
October 30th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
SonOfDad:
Like Ben remembers what happened on Sunday.
October 30th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
@Pepster, I actually saw Maddox play in XFL game for L.A.
I just brought up the fact that he is pro-life Catholic because most pro-life Catholics wouldn’t be caught dead voting for Obama or a lot of other candidates, republican or democrat, for that matter. Rooney has two good examples in Mahoney and Foley of how not to conduct his personal life.
/waiting for sexy Friday to get here
October 30th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
To be aired at halftime of Monday Night Football.
oboma is for both the steelers and the skins
October 30th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
I kno I will convice people to suports my canidate with my gramaticle misteaks and mispelings.
October 30th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
obama..errr..ehhhh sorry
October 30th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
I kno I will convice people to suports my canidate with my gramaticle misteaks and mispelings
sorry, I live in Tennessee..have problem spelling..BAMA…its an S.E.C. thing..also you are a douche
October 30th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
@pepster: You must have NO cynicism reigning in your area…and every day with Mahoney gets worse lately. Fascinating. Of course, I live in NYS, the land of the incredible Attorney General Eliot Spitzer, who turned our state into Whore Central last spring as governor. Gah.
October 30th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Used Car Salesman > Guy that makes shitty T-shirts and posts on blogs all day
October 30th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
I really feel like I should say something here, but what’s the point? Nobody listens to me.
October 30th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Wha?
October 30th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Did somebody just say something? I thought I heard something. Oh well, guess not.
October 30th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
i just got a new epmd track…
October 30th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Just because Mathias Kiwanuka ran train on you doesn’t mean you gotta hate
October 30th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
It’s not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to dick jokes and the Steelers.
October 30th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Kiwanuka had a great game but every member of that defense was having their way with Roethlisberger.
I’m sorry. What I meant was HATE HATE HATE
October 30th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
@ Foxxy Brown — Do your worst. Bring a camcorder.
@UZH — I suppose Jerrah will need a handler of some sort (I prefer to avoid touching you people). Force him to wear a Cowboy cheerleader outfit and I’ll let you sleep in the big house.
October 30th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Besides, only three sacks against Max Starks doesn’t exactly qualify as a big game.
October 30th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
<sitting quietly in corner with duct tape across mouth.
October 30th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
“Because if people don’t care who sports stars themselves endorse, they’ll certainly have their ears pinned back to hear what a bunch of dick joke slinging retards have to say about shit they don’t understand.”
You obviously are underestimating the power of “dick joke slinging retards”!!! Even clever satirists like KSK can affect some of the remaining 5% flock that remain “undecided”. Now simple logic tells you that if they haven’t made up their mind by now listening to the experts, then influence can come from any direction.
We are basically a land of sheep. The trillions spent on TV advertising is proof of that. Does coca-cola and pepsi really taste better than all the other sodas? No, they don’t. Insert 1000 other examples. We are freakin’ sheep. Myself included. We see and we follow. Most often on the subconscious level. All it takes is the slightest gust of wind for some.
Shit, if we wake up on Wednesday morning to find out that Pennsylvania decided the election by 537 votes — like Florida did in 2000 — I bet that all the dick-slinging retards will wish that they whipped it out Boogie Nights-style.
October 30th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Hey Drew, don’t go over to Deadspin to cry about people wanting some shelter from political nonsense. A line must be drawn in the sand or you run the risk of an Easterbrook break down of politics, particle physics and TV shows that no one watches with occasional crying about not going for it on 4th down. You already have the soft-core part taken care, don’t slip further.
It is like porn, at first it is just a Playboy (Presidential Election) and most people understand your interest, the Penthouse (caring about the Senate and crap like that) and then Hustler (Huffington Post) until you are finally into full on bondage (running for county water board).
October 30th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
“I’m going to make Jerry Jones my personal dancing monkey.”
Wouldn’t this be good for all races?
October 30th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Uuumm, okay, why not? Let’s give socialism a try! You never know until you try it right? I’M IN!!! YES WE CAN!
Fuck capitalism and religion… those old fucks who started this country didn’t know shit anyways!
October 30th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
I think the last poster mistyped his handle. It should be “Retarded Voter” right?
Rolling back the top tax rate from 39% to 35% isn’t socialism, numb nuts. It’s what we had when Clinton was president, and I seem to recall capitalism doing just fine.
October 30th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Clinton also had to deal with a repub majority in Congress… If Obama wins, he’ll have free reign to do whatever he pleases! The dems will have control of both houses (possibly filibuster-proof) to unleash what they don’t dare campaign on. I for one do not look forward to amnesty to 20 million illegals, a “right to choice” act, raised taxes, decimated military and God knows what else!!
October 30th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
LOOK TO THE SKIES! THE GAY ISLAMOMEXICANS ARE COMING TO GET US!
IT’S IN REVELATIONS, PEOPLE!!!!1!!!
October 30th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
OH HI OBAMA.
October 30th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
O AN HE SECRET MOSLIM
October 30th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
This is the second time this season that the meast had played the Lions (previously the back of the endzone). Should we let google images know to prepare their Kyle Orton index?
October 30th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
should that make it an automatic DQ for measthood if you played the lions?
October 30th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
OH HI OBAMA.
Late to the PoFlaWa, but this made me laugh my ass off.
Also hysterical — Undecided Voter. Unless the Democrats are going to (a) be replaced by the boogeymen of Sean Hannity’s nightmares and (2) cancel the 2010 midterms when they would be held accountable, they’re not going to do any of that shit.
Lighten up, Francis.
October 30th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Who will hold them accountable? They will have more power than any political party has had in at least 80 years! With a filibuster proof Senate they could change the rules of the game to keep themselves in power. 12-20 million illegals getting a fast track to citizenship would make them pretty loyal to the party that accomplished the task, no? Dems have been discussing for years having Washington D.C. (which leans VERY democratic) be represented by two Senators of their own. They’ve been whining for 8 years now about the electoral college, because a shift to popular vote would benefit them. As far as the rest of the “shit” that you seem to think they would never do, Obama has already stated that a “right to choice” act is one of his priorities (which would roll back any and all state restrictions- including partial birth & parental consent- and would require federal funding of a procedure that at least 40% of the country deems morally repprehensible), Barney Frank publicly declared that taxes would need to be raised and the military budget would be cut by 25%, and Pelosi and company are already giddy at the prospect of being able declare homosexuals’ “civil rights” to marriage.
Also, without any checks and balances while the minority party is helpless to stop anything from happening, Obama could nominate pretty much anybody he wanted for the Supreme Court and be assured that they would be approved. This is particularly scary when you consider that- in the third debate- he seemed to describe a justice’s duty to be that of personally judging what they deem to be fair rather than strictly interpreting the Constitution (He also boldly stated that anyone who disagrees with the original ruling on Roe Vs. Wade is “not qualified to be a Supreme Court Justice”- so much for not having a litmus test).
Oh well, we can all rest assured knowing that the media has vigorously scrutinized his past, his background, his accomplishments, and his former and present associations- leaving no rock unturned to assure that we all know exactly who he is and what he believes in… wait, OH SHIT!! I, for one, HOPE that my worries are unfounded but this man’s voting record and past associations (which are off-limits for discussion, lest you be exposed as “divisive” and using “beyond the pale rhetoric”) don’t do much to comfort me.
October 30th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
It took a while to catch, but the inevitable PoFlaWa has finally arrived.
October 30th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Damn, “Undecided Voter,” are you really my constituency? You are a fucking retard. Please do me a favor and SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Tuesday can’t get here soon enough.
October 30th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
I want to know who they’re supporting over at outsports.com
October 31st, 2008 at 1:27 am
IT’S IN REVELATIONS, PEOPLE!!!!1!!!
Fuck … I think I laughed out a lung.
October 31st, 2008 at 8:31 am
Y’all’s is ignant… BAHH BAAAHHHHHH!
I recently changed my mind. I will be voting for Obama because Lebron James will be voting for the first time in his life and he’s voting for Obama! For all of the “anti-intellectualism” charges that the dems have slung at the stupid redneck republicans, the can take comfort in knowing that they will be winning this election on the backs of many people who are completely ignorant of any of the issues- young voters who are hypnotized by the MTV crowd/athletes/celebrities, poor and homeless people who are eager for more handouts (and Obama’s outstanding ground game convinced them they’ll get everything- even going so far as to hold their hands as they register and make their uninformed vote on the same day!), and millions of minorities who have never had any interest in the political process and who are voting for the first time simply because one of the guys is also a minority (and no, I did not just say ALL minorities have been disinterested… Obama’s campaign brags on a daily basis about all the people who will be voting for the first time. He will get somewhere in the neighborhood of 95% of the african american vote… I guess they all just agree with his policies!… But white’s risk being called racists if they don’t vote for him!!)
October 31st, 2008 at 10:35 am
@ Undecide Voter
yawwwwwwwwn.
October 31st, 2008 at 11:24 am
I feel like this point is worth making again:
I kno I will convice people to suports my canidate with my gramaticle misteaks and mispelings.
October 31st, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Does undecided voter = shaved yak? And if you’re truley undecided, (which I kinda doubt) you are either a moron or a woman.
October 31st, 2008 at 8:31 pm
undecided voter seems pretty decided, innit?
also: mmmm, misteaks.
November 1st, 2008 at 12:32 am
Boy… can’t slip one past you geniuses!! My handle was sarcastic in the first post when I was mimicking someone who somehow hasn’t made up their mind yet who decided to “give socialism a try”.
November 1st, 2008 at 9:59 pm
@ foxxy brown
you don’t get the york’s, she’s from MY hometown. you can have jon, i guess. just leave me denise. and carmen policy.