Sean Taylor Memorial Meast Of The Week – Week 7
There’s a new Guns ‘N’ Roses single out. The guy at WWTDD says the track isn’t that bad. And now you know that, in addition to being a shitty joke writer (Sample joke: “Madonna’s kid is so ugly. But you know what’s not ugly? My hot body.” Repeat 7,000 times over.), the WWTDD guy also has horrible, horrible taste in music.
There’s really no describing just how awful this song is. Not only does it suck, but it sucks in 7,000 different ProTools layers. Ever see the movie “Walk Hard,” where Dewey Cox is all loaded up on cocaine and plays a track that’s really 40 different songs played on top of one another? That’s pretty much what this is like. Ooh, look! Axl is using his screeching voice, his low voice, and a Vocoder all at once! Isn’t that amazing?
I recently read this book on GNR, and it pretty much confirms that Axl Rose may very well be the biggest asshat in the history of rock. He severely abused his girlfriends. He once didn’t play a show because his psychic adviser said it was bad karma to play in a city that started with the letter M (one of the countless times he’s fucked over fans by not showing up). He once picked a fight with Kurt Cobain and his wife at an awards show. This is how the exchange went.
Rose: Shut your bitch up or I’ll knock her to the pavement.
Cobain: (turns to Courtney Love) Shut up, bitch.
Everyone laughed in Rose’s face after this exchange, and Rose stomped away like a little bitch. Rose didn’t even write most of GNR’s best songs, and the ones he did write he sure as hell didn’t write himself. So the idea that he’s got some mind-blowing album waiting to be unleashed on 11/23 after two decades of silence is a fucking joke. Go back to your fucking hermit hole, Axl. Rock ‘n’ roll doesn’t need your bloated fat ass.
Your Measts of the Week are Michael Roos, Eugene Amano, Kevin Mawae, Jake Scott, and David Stewart, better known as the Titans’ o-line.
I don’t care if it was against the Chiefs. You don’t spring LenDale White for 149 yards on just 17 carries without holding your blocks for at least 90 minutes each time out.
Honorary mini-Meast mention this week goes to the bacteria currently infecting Tom Brady’s surgically repaired knee.
Little heroes. Continue your malevolence, my microbial pets!
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, Chinese Shitocracy, i used to do a little but the little wouldn't do it, Sean Taylor Memorial Meast of the Week
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:07 pm
man, it’ like the entire universe is just beginning to take an excruciatingly long and nasty dump on Boston Sports Franchises.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:08 pm
What or who is WWTDD?
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:09 pm
I imagine a Rose/Cobain throwdown would look something like a 3rd grade kickball dispute playground fight. Kurt Loder probably breaks that fracas up singlehandedly.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:17 pm
man, it’ like the entire universe is just beginning to take an excruciatingly long and nasty dump on Boston Sports Franchises.
Yes, poor you! Only ONE title this year!
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:17 pm
@CR-What Would Tyler Durden Do?, aka Celeb Blog site.
BDD, when you speak of doing a little, I assume you mean Cat Piss, or was it Jenkem?
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Let’s not forget that Axl Rose got his ass kicked by Tommy Hilfiger.
If a 55-year-old, sweater-vest-making foppish fashionista is capable of giving you an Oz-style beatdown, then you need to turn in your man card. No amount of NFL jerseys and Predator-style dreads is going to compensate for being on the receiving end of that.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I wanted to start a Guns N’ Roses cover band called Chinese Democracy. The idea was that we’d get everyone excited to hear us perform, and then just not come out.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:24 pm
@WorldClass: How do you think a BDD/WWTDD-guy throwdown would look like? I imagine it would be a lot like the Cartman-Kyle fight from Cartoon Wars. BlogFlaWa! BlogFlaWa! BlogFlaWa!
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:25 pm
I saw GnR play with Living Colour and the Stones in ‘89 (fuck, I’m old), and they kicked ass…once Axl stopped his 5 minutes of whining about how the press doesn’t treat him fairly and SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PLAY ALREADY YOU FUCKING DOUCHE!!! Bottom line is, I drank a lot.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:26 pm
@Grimey:
And when you did come out, were you going to jump into the crowd and start fighting some random dude?
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:26 pm
“The guy at WWTDD says the track isn’t that bad. And now you know that, in addition to being a shitty joke writer (Sample joke: “Madonna’s kid is so ugly. But you know what’s not ugly? My hot body.” Repeat 7,000 times over.), the WWTDD guy also has horrible, horrible taste in music.”
You shouldn’t talk about Ufford like that.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I’m waiting with bated breath for the microbials to burst from Tom Brady’s knee like a tsunami of microscopic Aliens.
“In the locker room, no one can hear you scream.”
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:31 pm
@Luthor:
Ufford is With Leather, Brendon is WWTDD. There’s a subtle difference.
/still trying to figure out what it is
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Axl Rose sounds like a perfect candidate to be the Raiders’ next coach.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:38 pm
“Yes, poor you! Only ONE title this year!”
Yeah, but that was like, FOUR MONTHS ago. Do you have any idea what it is like to wait that long?
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:39 pm
The Stig -
I swear that is Ufford on wwtdd some of the time.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:41 pm
WWTDD blows!
BloFlaWa!!!!!!!
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:49 pm
The link from With Leather to WWTDD is not a total loss. I go there for all my Tara Reid “mind the gap” camel toe needs. You can pretty much ignore all but the photos.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:50 pm
I don’t want to get into a pissing match about musical taste, but Axl Rose (and the dudes who aren’t Slash) could shit on a snare drum and it would be more creative and rock a helluva lot more than the Nickelbacks, Buck Cherry’s, Linkin Park’s, Hinder’s, and emo Cutlerfuckers (they all have his haircut) of this world.
On a side note, if you don’t like Iron Maiden, fuck you. I know that’s off subject, but I felt like saying it.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:51 pm
[Supermarket PA speakers whine with feedback]
“Attention Piggly Wiggly shoppers: Today we have BloFlaWa in isle 5. BloFlaWa in isle 5″
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:52 pm
So I’m guessing I can safely say ‘Chinese Democracy’ will not be added to my ‘Songs to Make You Run Through a Brick Wall’ playlist.
October 23rd, 2008 at 12:57 pm
There needs to be a moratorium on these “rock-star resurgences”
I hear Cheap Trick is trying the same thing now… so please, someone, STOP THESE ASSHOLES.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Bacterial Infection. Finishing what Bernard Pollard started.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:03 pm
How is that Walk Hard movie, anyway?
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Did Brady go to some sort of Indonesian Nike sweatshop to get his ACL fixed? Belicheat will be having a word with those doctors in his private residence that lies within close proximity of a hi-rise construction site in the near future.
Continue your malevolence, my microbial pets!
I didn’t know Limas Sweed was adding commentary at the end of posts today.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I don’t think the fag from WWTDD has a book on Amazon’s top 40 sports book bestseller list. Nobody has left a review for it though, or rated it. Is Drew going to have to do this all by himself?
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Still bitter that GnR’s disappearance allowed the inevitable rise of Nickleback, Staind, and Disney Pop? I feel your pain.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Axer Lows not make Hines Wald smirre… make Hines eels breed
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Chinese Democracy is only slightly shitter than Peruvian pan flute bands.
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Axl Rose (and the dudes who aren’t Slash) could shit on a snare drum and it would be more creative and rock a helluva lot more than the Nickelbacks, Buck Cherry’s, Linkin Park’s, Hinder’s, and emo Cutlerfuckers (they all have his haircut) of this world.
Does it have to be an either/or here? Can I choose the correct answer — all of those fucking bands suck?
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Yipes. I guess we know why WWTDD didn’t get picked up by Uproxx….
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Guns N’ Roses was one of the best bands ever. Right up until The Spaghetti Incident?
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:45 pm
“Nobody has left a review for it though, or rated it. Is Drew going to have to do this all by himself?”
My copy came in the mail Tuesday. I’m about halfway throught it and I find it makes some pretty good points about athletes that come wrapped in dick jokes. I am enjoying the book greatly. If you like BDD’s online stuff, you’ll more than likely enjoy the book. I was afraid he was going to use the book to become an official author, but the book is basically set up like a string a blogposts. It works very well. In short, just buy the damn book or pick it up at your local library.
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Aw, did Axl break your heart? Did you find out he isn’t gay? Well, you still have your fantasies.
Drill here drill now.
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
@ Luthur – I should have been more sopecific – on Amazon, dude. It’s the only book in Sports top 40 ( and it’s really 38, becuase a couple of books are listed twice) that doesn’t have ratings or reviews.
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:12 pm
when’s the last time anyone (non-actor) took almost 20 years off and came back just as good as before?
/still thinking
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:15 pm
@ogiths: While Vineland is only ok, there’s 24 years between Gravity’s Rainbow and the far greater Mason & Dixon.
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
@ T-Bone,
“In the locker room, no one can hear you scream.”
Well, except all the guys waiting their turn, ofcourse…
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
“We got everything you want, even bacteria in your knee! In the jungle! Welcome to the jungle!”
OK, I’ll show myself out now. Sorry.
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:37 pm
@NMC,
“Well, except all the guys waiting their turn, ofcourse…”
You know damn well Matt Cassell was perfectly content being the guy sitting on the bench and collecting championships at all levels (college and pros). I guarantee you he threw up when he saw Brady go down.
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Shouldn’t it be more like, “We’re gonna bring bacteria to your na na na na na na na na knees! knees!”
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:45 pm
*correction: SHA-na na na na na na na knees! knees!
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Yes, thats much better.
October 23rd, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Axel really should fire that psychic advisor of his. It’s bad karma to be a dick.
And where’s my free Dr. Pepper?
October 23rd, 2008 at 3:28 pm
when’s the last time anyone (non-actor) took almost 20 years off and came back just as good as before?
Nelson Mandela?
October 23rd, 2008 at 3:29 pm
@ Gino
I hope it comes it time to wash down the free taco
October 23rd, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Whatever, dudes. You know WWTDD has made you chuckle more than a few times, but go ahead and spread that sweet haterade.
Just sayin’.
October 23rd, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Once again drew.. you’re a faggot
October 23rd, 2008 at 8:04 pm
@stealofthedraft:
Walk Hard is fucking hilarious.
October 24th, 2008 at 7:02 am
There was a time when GnR put out some pretty solid music. It sounded spectacular because they rocked harder than say, Poison and weren’t as deprressing as Nirvana. I think what most fans lament is the loss of music and time because of egos, et.al.
Look fellas you don’t have to like each other, hell, you don’t even have to respect each other (it helps), but you do have to get along. If not for the fans (laugh I know right) then for the $$. Otherwise you end up cleaning pools.
BTW, I want a 2′x3′ poster of that Beyonce picture please.