Nothing moves the pizza pie like comical punches to the crotch.
Rather than look on in approval from afar, Jerry Jones seems to inject himself into the action as much as possible. After Sunday’s win over the Bucs, Jones usurped the coach’s post-game prerogative and awarded the game ball. Jones gave the ball to Wade Phillips, nominally for his defensive play-calling, who reportedly dumped the ball moments later. Perhaps Wade would have preferred a box of Drake’s Devil Dogs.
In addition to part-time coaching, Jerry is also a big-time television star. Here’s the recent pizza commercial referenced in the Newsday link. (FF to the :30 mark if you want to see the groinal fustigation and are willing to forgo essential plot and thematic developments.)
A millionaire pretending to take a punch in the dick? At some point you think he might say to himself ‘I am a sixty-six year old billionaire, perhaps some quiet dignity is in order.’ But alas, it appears nothing is too unseemly for Jerry:
Director: Jerry, Jerry, in this one we need you to look into the camera and say “Dis here Papa John’s sho’ am good pizza!” Take a bite, aaaand then… shit your pants.
Jerry: Okay, roll ‘em.
![[badge]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/themes/default/images/100121_FOXmsnBadge_200x50.gif)
October 29th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
If only Jimmy Johnson had done that to him years ago…
October 29th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
As a result of several cosmetic procedures the Jerry’s crotch is actually located somewhere north of the stomach.
October 29th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
hoping they had to do many many takes. and that the kid refused to follow directions to pull the punch, and had a great wind up and follow through motion.
also, guessing that Wade has this commercial dvr’ed and on dvd
October 29th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
can he do that? doesn’t pepsi own pizza hut? isnt there some conflict of interest?
October 29th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Simply a transparent bid for best picture at the Springfield Film Festival
October 29th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
The Double J should be doing commercials for Double Dave’s.
October 29th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
“…but Fist in the Groin has a fist in the groin.”
/Has my vote.
October 29th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
As much as ole’ Double-J annoys the piss outta me, I think I could continue to watch any commercials that involve him taking a crotch-punch from an 11 year-old..
perhaps they could branch out…kicks to Double-J’s nuts, mallet to Double-J’s nuts….but only if they cut to a shot of TO crying…’that’s….that’s mah owner!…….he cuts the check man…that’s mah owner dogg!’
October 29th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Jerry Jones and quiet dignity do not go together.
October 29th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
HAHA, you solly foors!!! You stirr have not rocated my centlar nerve!!!
October 29th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Al Davis’s Count Chocula commercial is better.
October 29th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
FF to the :30 mark if you want to see the groinal fustigation and are willing to forgo essential plot and thematic developments
That’s how you’re supposed to watch porn, I think. Or how you’re not supposed to. I wouldn’t know.
October 29th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Was that his grandson who just punched him in the cock?
October 29th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
@FMRA: I just enjoy the drama of whether or not she’ll be able to come up with the money for that pizza.
October 29th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
mike singletary’s sending that kid to the showers. he can watch them eat pizza from the stands.
October 29th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Don’t cry for me, I’m already dead.
October 29th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
FMRA, this post seems reminiscent of GHABB’Y! A certain porn theme is prevalent. I too, can’t say I am a regular at the porn table.
October 29th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Papa John’s garlic butter sauce can give you diarrhea quicker than sitting shotgun in Leonard Little’s car after a night on the town.
October 29th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Whatever will she do to ensure that she gets a passing grade on that test and doesn’t get kicked out of school? The suspense is killing me!
October 29th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
The only thing wrong with the crotch punch is that it was administered by a child and not a large, angry man.
I work in advertising and I still don’t understand how crotch punch = man, I could really eat some pizza right now. The last thing I want to think about when I’m eating (or anytime, really) is Jerry Jones’ crotch.
October 29th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw! I am PUNCHED IN THE DICK!
October 29th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
good thing he has no balls, or that might have hurt
October 29th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Did Double J order an Alabama Slammer?
October 29th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
@ Doc Holliday
+1 my friend, +1. I laughed out loud at that one.
October 29th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
+1 for proper use of “fustigation.”
October 29th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Owner, GM, Head Coach, Medical Advisor, Spokesperson, Medical Test Subject and now Actor, is there no end to this man’s genius?
October 29th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Do you kids know where good ol’ Double J just got back from drilling for oil in the backside of some young piece of southeast Asia’s finest pre-teen ass?
BANG-COCK!
October 29th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
When does Terrell Owens get his punch in the balls? The team does better when TO gets more nutshots.
October 29th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
I think there’s something wrong with my monitor; Jerry Jones’ face looks all fucked up.
October 29th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
forget nut shots. too gentlemanly. jerry needs a high colonic administered through the good offices of a large calibre, belt-fed, fully automatic weapon – preferably on the 50 yard line of the billion dollar shrine he’s building in his honor and image. god what a whore. could jerry jones be the john mccain of nfl owners?
October 30th, 2008 at 1:27 am
At some point you think he might say to himself ‘I am a sixty-six year old billionaire, perhaps some quiet dignity is in order.
Nah … I think Jerry Jones:NFL::Vince McMahon:Professional Wrestling. And even though I don’t really like wrestling, I don’t think the comparison is at all bad. For Jerry or for the NFL. Every sport needs a comical bad guy, and for every non-Dallas fan, that’s Jerry.
October 30th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Wade was probably supposed to do this role but ate all the pizza so ol’ double J stepped in at the last minute.
November 1st, 2008 at 9:54 pm
the commercial cuts off before you can see jessica simpson fellatiating JJ as her father watches on approvingly.