Brandon Marshall: Look at this shit. All these fans wolfing down their greasy-ass food and I gotta stationary bike like a sucker. Makes a guy wanna put his fist through a giant flatscreen. That’s it, I gotta make a food run after this game.
Jay Cutler: Shit! Looks like Jacksonville is about to take the lead. We gotta come out strong on this drive. There are only about six minutes left. We might not get another shot. Brandon? I’ve noticed your production slipping, B-Marsh. 18 catches in your first game. 10 in the last two. What’s going on? Talk to me. Brandon. Brandon!
Marshall: Hole up. Putting a McD’s takeout order together. What’m I putting you down for? You look like one a’ them fish fillet motherfuckers.
Cutler: Get your head in the game! THIS ISN’T JUST ABOUT YOU! GOTTA HANDLE THE BUSINESS! YOU KNOW, THE BUSINESS AT HAND! I’M JUST TRYING TO RAP AT YOU, MY MAIN MAN! WE GOT TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT! Fuck, I can’t do this, I came from Indiana. Yeah, fish fillet’ll do just fine. How’d you know?
Marshall: All you quarterbacks love your mayonnaise.
Cutler: What’s wrong with mayonnaise?
Andre Hall: A’yo: Did I hear you right? Are you planning on making a food run after the game?
Marshall: Yessir.
Hall: Could I perhaps prevail upon you to go to Sonic?
Marshall: Can’t be hearing that.
Hall: C’mon dog.
Marshall: Can’t be hearing it.
Hall: One time.
Marshall: Can’t do it.
Hall: Dog, I’m on a running back co-mit-tee. That means everything we running backs do, we got to put to a vote. Let me make one executive decision.
Marshall: I feel for you. I really do. This ain’t the situation for taking the flyer.
Hall: How ’bout I throw you five?
Marshall: Keep going.
Hall: More than five? That’s steep.
Marshall: Price of living.
Hall: All right, all right. 10. 10 sound good?
Marshall: Good enough. What they got at Sonic?
Hall: Fuck if I know. Commercials are funny as shit.
Marshall: You’re killing me.
Hall: I know you’ve seen ‘em.
Marshall: Killing me.
Hall: Folks in the car? Making funny talk. The girl who looks like a bird? The dudes from every Comedy Central show?
Marshall: [Feigns choking motion] Dead.
Hall: Fine. ‘Least gimme my 10 back.
Marshall: ‘Nah dude. This covering drinks. Bad suggestion means your cash is forfeit.
Hall: You got my apple pie in there, though, right? ‘CAUSE I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME! NO! NO IT’S NOT TIME FOR YOU TO TAKE THE FIELD. Goddamn it.
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there is so much more here. couldn’t they solve darrent williams’ murder or something? this was by far the weakest “fake” character to date
@ senor mullet Did you get the El Nino? That’s a big MoFo. It used to be better when they made their own chips, instead of the Tostitos crap.
BIG BEN WANT FUDDRUCKERS!!!!
on a very sad note: http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/406874
I wonder if Brandon can call-ahead-order this:
http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2008/10/the-hamburger-fatty-melt-a-burger-with-two-grilled-cheese-sandwiches-as-its-bun.html?ref=se-bb4
Seriously people.
/threadjack
/arteryclog
This post was definitely made to spite the Jews
Go to southern Virginia if you want Sonics. I think they fucking breed out there.
1. That Progressive chick looks a lot better without the clown makeup and big name tag they make her wear.
2. The only Sonic I’ve seen is in Va Beach and we get the Sonic commercials all the time in NY.
3. Red Robin is the tits. I love that place and would eat there once a week if I could.
4. You guys are gonna go blind drankin’ that moonshine
@ rocco: i was in buffalo/niagara with some friends from the area and they all talked about how good mighty taco is and how its so much better than taco bell, so maybe i just had these wild expectations that let me down
Miss, must, whatever.
@SM: What!?! I miss not be well vervsed in the world of “Mexican” cusine.
@ dAndy: haha, he probably is.
@ Rocco: mighty taco did not live up to the hype.
@dAndy: Hey, I love me some cougar action. I don’t think 38 is even cougar age anyway. I was just a bit surprised I thought she was younger. Good for her. She deserves a good poking. I probably would.
@senor mullet: no, but now that I take a closer look it looks like that one guy is giving BM a hand job.
@Rocco: There is nothing wrong with tapping a cougar on occasion bro. As for the crown and vodky, hells nah, I tasted that shit and it was instant gag action. Only Brady Quinn and his incredible ability to supress the gag reflex could drink that shit.
did anyone else notice in the first photo that the broncos have a guy named “x ray” on their team?
Boss Bailey walks to B-Marsh to get his double qp with cheese, trips and injures ankle.
I agree with the theory that they’re trying to get us to go there when we travel.
Or it could be that their marketing department is run by complete fuckheads.
Crown and vodka…Crown and vodka…nope, don’t see it taken in the draft. All yours dAndy.
That chick is 38? Huh.
@ Stu: I got a buddy that will mix crown and vodka when he gets completely lit. Talk about something nastier than Al Davis’ ass. Wheew!
/not that I would know that Al Davis has a nasty ass or anything
@ The Stig: None of those listings looked like a porn title. I was looking for something more along the lines of, “Please bang me and my big tricked out name tag” on there. Thanks anyway though!
Did you ever notice, there always seems to be a liquor store next door to every Sonic?
There’s a liquor store every five feet down south. It’s the only way they can cope with living in the south.
Not that I ever had a Cherry Limeade spiked with whiskey, but my friends tell me it’s great.
Have you tried whiskey spiked with vodka spiked with rum spiked with absinthe? That stuff’s the shit!
Checkers! My bad. I stand corrected.
Don’t scare me like that!
I’m almost afraid to mention this, but here in Buffalo we also get those Sonic commercials and I’ve never seen one around town. I agree with the theory that they’re trying to get us to go there when we travel.
You all just need to hope that Mighty Taco branches outside of WNY someday.
Did you ever notice, there always seems to be a liquor store next door to every Sonic? Missouri, yes. Arizona, yes.
Not that I ever had a Cherry Limeade spiked with whiskey, but my friends tell me it’s great.
/I can stop drinking whenever I want, I just don’t want to.
Checkers! My bad. I stand corrected. This is not the first time I’ve confused Sonic and Checkers, nor will it be the last.
Sonic’s down 95 at the legendary Exit 126 I believe, which is also Breezewood-esque.
We have no Sonics in or near Boston, but we do get their commercials. I would gladly bang bird girl. I was in Bumfuck, AL on business last year and stopped at a Sonic for Lunch. Their onion rings sucked – it tasted like they put malt in the batter. Their car hop girl gave me a woody, much better than a hole in the wall. Flo from progressive? Get yourself checked out, man. You may be psychologically damaged.
@StuScott: i think all the excessive advertising north of the mason-dixon line is to trick all of us northerners into eating their supposedly shitty food when we finally do see one of them.
mmm…. checkers….
/knows what’s on the menu next time the munchies roll around
Cutler’s definitely more of a McRib kid. Used to get the sauce all over his face and shit. Maybe not any longer, though, with the dia-beet-us.
stop using dial up
and move out of mom’s basement? yeah right.
I would so trade my Sonic for a Checkers…
@StuScottBooyahs
So I’m not the only one? I live in New York, and despite having never seen a Sonic in my entire life, are subjected to their commercials 24/7
There’s a Sonic on New York Avenue as you’re going to/coming from the BW Parkway or Annapolis.
Really? I’ll be damned. Isn’t there a Checker’s out that way too?
Cherry Limeade is just what the doctor ordered for Marshall. Nothing even remotely sharp to cut himself on and also won’t contribute to another DUI.
@dAndy:
Bang away, dude…… http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0183960/
I have to give it up for the strawberry limeade. The food, not so much.
@ dAndy ManCandy
The chick from the progressive commercials?….thats just wrong…
Every Sonic I’ve ever been to has a drive-thru window, and their breakfast toaster sandwiches are fucking tasty, especially after a good wake n’ bake.
“By the way, Sonic, stop advertising your crappy chain on DC-area stations when you aren’t within 5,000 miles of this city.”
Mr. Booyahs, I feel I must correct you on this matter. There’s a Sonic on New York Avenue as you’re going to/coming from the BW Parkway or Annapolis.
In fact, that entire stretch of road is Breezewood-esque.
@ Monkey Business
Those things have fish in them !?
Fish Fillet…Fuck that.
Angus Burger with Mushroom and Swiss – Fuck and Yes.
Speaking of girls in commercials people wanna bang, there is just something about that chick Flo in the progessive car insurance commercials, not sure what it is but I just wanna splut dat ass while she be quoting me on some insurance. She make dAndy dick wanna vomit.
Bad suggestion means your cash is forfeit.
That’s a man law right there.
“The page takes about two minutes to load now.”
stop using dial up
What’s up with the site? The page takes about two minutes to load now.
We’re working on it.
“You want some fries with that shake?
Yeah
No, you want some FRIES with that shake?
Sure.
Noo, you want some fries with that SHAKE???
Yes, I would enjoy some fries…”
Awesome.
What’s up with the site? The page takes about two minutes to load now.
Fuck, now I can’t spell “skates”
@Stig: No, our area Sonics were obviously too poor to afford roller scates, so the waitress just walked the food over to my car and fumbled around with the massive contraption strapped to her waist to get me my change. I wanted to shout at her “TELL YOUR MANAGER TO PUNCH A HOLE IN YOUR FUCKING WALL”
By the way, Sonic, stop advertising your crappy chain on DC-area stations when you aren’t within 5,000 miles of this city.
Mmmm cuhcaine
“You look like one a’ them fish fillet motherfuckers.”
-Classic.
And when did McDonalds start taking call-ahead orders?
And tots… And I read they put cuhcaine in the chilli cheese coney
@UU
I can get delicious onion rings at the Stop n’ Rob down the street. Sonic blows.
Sonic is better than McD’s. Sonic has onion rings.
Also, I would bang the bird looking girl from the Sonic commercials (if I wasn’t married).
@Stu
Try a Sonic where they have the carhops on rollerskates…….nothing says “greasy overpriced sustenance” like an unccordinated meth ho slamming full speed into your drivers’ door.
/hey, that was damn near a rhyming couplet
As someone from Indiana, I feel driven to say that I, in fact, do not like mayonnaise, and wouldn’t touch a Fish Fillet from McDonald’s with a 10 foot pole/Santonio Holmes’ penis (same difference).
However, 95% of the fat fucks in the rest of the state do, and would willingly scarf down enough to make whatever fish they make them out of extinct.
Hall: Could I perhaps prevail upon you to go to Sonic?
Marshall: Can’t be hearing that.
+1 to Marshall. Sonic fucking blows. “Come to Sonic, where we have what everyone else has, except ours tastes like it fell off the back of a truck! And instead of installing a drive-thru window, we’ll walk it out to you, just like in the old days when everything was inconvenient!”
food food food food food food food food food
And that girl that looks like a bird…awesome.
I for one can be hearin’ it.