It’s Vhat Zee Penis Vants!
Brooke Shields: An epidemic is sweeping the nation. U.S. birthrates are at a 35-year high. Is it out of love? No. Is it for companionship? Wrong. Is this the next baby boom? Yes. It’s the Routan Boom.
More and more people are having babies simply for German engineering. Take this couple.
Willis McGahee: That’s right. This shit hot.
All you gotta do is knock a bitch up and they give you one a’ these, right?
Brooke: But…
Uh…
this is…
McGahee: Oh yeah, this gone look rull good in the driveway next to the three Escalades I got for them other kids.
So does it matter the color of the bitch? Like, if I gave it to you without wrapping it up, would I get a white car?
Brooke: No, it doesn’t work that way.
McGahee: Thank goodness. Them white cars is impossible to keep clean. Almost as bad as having to raise a kid. That’s for punks. I just have kids for the cars. Keep the car, ditch the kid. Gotta make payments on both, though, which sucks.
Kind of a shame about the color thing. I could go for one in red. And I’ve never had the privilege of knocking up an Indian girl. Feather, not dot. Dot I’ve done.
Brooke: I don’t really think you know what we’re going for here. This is an ad campaign. The gimmick is people are having kids just to justify buying a van. You’re supposed to deny you’re having a kid to get the car.
McGahee: Yeah, I know. I’m with you. It’s cool. I was kidding anyway. I don’t baby up a bitch for cars. I can buy them shits on my own. And I sure as shit wouldn’t be doing it for a fucking Routan. They’re Joe Flacco gay.
Tags: commercials that aren't jewelry ads, xmas ape, yes i know i could have used travis henry
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:34 am
And I’ve never had the privilege of knocking up an Indian girl. Feather, not dot. Dot I’ve done.
/slow clap.
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:39 am
And I’ve never had the privilege of knocking up an Indian girl. Feather, not dot. Dot I’ve done.
+many Ape. The ironic thing is that as a dot (not feather) Indian, I’ve only done an Indian woman who was feather, not dot. The dot Indian women tend to piss me off… at least I can say I’ve knocked red off of my rainbow checklist, which most people can’t
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:44 am
if you rubber up your cock you don’t have to worry about babying up a bitch.
Just saying.
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:45 am
Thanks for that personal tidbit, miamidiesel, I can sleep much better tonight.
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:58 am
I don’t baby up a bitch for cars….they’re Joe Flacco Gay
I need to figure out a way to integrate these phrases into my parlance
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:58 am
looking forward for more information about this. thanks for sharing. Eugene
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Willis McGahee is an idiot. Everybody knows black cars are the hardest to keep clean.
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:05 pm
@THDR – they are also the toughest to keep bullet-holes out of.
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:11 pm
If fathering a child out of wedlock = Volkswagon, then Travis Henry’s garage must look like a dealership. (But still small compared to Sean Kemp’s)
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:19 pm
where’s the fuming jerry jones? my day wouldn’t be nearly as complete without a complete double j meltdown. although the enjoyment of the cowboys getting destroyed could hold me over til next week should nobody give a shit and write it
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:28 pm
If Ray Lewis kills your kid, do you still get to keep the car?
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Circle, circle, dot, dot, now you’ve got your…baby? Wait that doesn’t rhyme. WTF?!?!
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:37 pm
I hate those fucking VW ads. Just wanted to share. I have no preference on dot vs. feather. They’re both cool by me.
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:49 pm
i feel some sense of pride that the Bills had both Travis Henry and Willis McGahee at the same time, there’s probably a Pop Warner team in Buffalo that is entirely filled by their kids
/also hates the Routan ads
//WTF is a Routan
///haven’t really met a feather, but know a very hot dot
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:15 pm
You know what ad is REALLY COOL? Saved by ZEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Just makes me warm all over when I see that commercial 50 times during a game and twice during the 3 minute commercial break during timeouts. I don’t know if I could go on living without it in my life. Someone give me the name of the ad agency that developed the ad so I can walk over there any THANK everyone for such a great campaign.
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:26 pm
The Ravens are going to put a bounty on this post.
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:48 pm
@Ape: ala Reggie Dunlop style?
I think Father Baker’s has a whole wing just for Travis Henry’s and Willis McGahee’s kids. They will soon be the 11 starters for the Lackawanna Steelers.
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
If you birth a baby for a car, and then take post-partum drugs, do you have to give the car back?
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:24 pm
@Daydream Billiever:
A Routan is nothing more than a Dodge Caravan that speaks German. Seriously.
/hate those frikkin’ ads too
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:46 pm
So that’s what Farfegnugen really means…..
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Speaking of vat ze penis vants … Brooke Shields … I would
October 22nd, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Don’t be a conformist Marshawn!
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Travis Henry can teach him a thing or two about denying paternity.
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Brooke Shields is probably my favorite MILF
October 23rd, 2008 at 1:00 am
Ok, for all the Brooke Shields sporting papel-boner (sorry quoting Simmons)
Take a gander at this…
http://www.topsocialite.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/brooke-shields-nomakeup.jpg
October 23rd, 2008 at 3:24 am
+3 Tyler. Wow, did THAT kill any latent interest.
March 30th, 2009 at 11:09 am
Once I had the same problem.