My publisher is too cheap to pay for an actual book tour. Apparently, spending $1,000 to fly a fat man into a city and letting him expense dinner doesn’t match the revenue generated by selling three books in a suburban Barnes & Noble.
So I’ll be pimping this book the only way I know how… by making dick jokes anywhere and everywhere I can. The BDD Virtual Tour begins today with a guest column over at Florio’s Pro Football Talk. I’ll also be doing a special guest post today over at movie site Pajiba.
Tomorrow I’ll be taking over at With Leather for the entire day. Then Deadspin on Thursday. Then MJD’s Shutdown Corner at Yahoo on Halloween. Then special columns over at Every Day Should Be Saturday and at ESPN.com next week (right into the belly of the beast!). It’s just like a real book tour, only you don’t have to do anything, and I get to make dick jokes all day long. I think it’s quite an improvement. Enjoy.
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Liked the post on PFT. Obviously their ass clown commenters have no idea what satire means.
I really like this idea, and I like the way you’ve been honest with your constantly spamming us about your book. BTW What’s it called again?
Seriously, this virtual book tour idea is really cool and I hope it sells a ton of books for you.
With all due respect to Mrs. Magary, I think that picture is kinda hot. Seriously.
USA Today? You really are pimping.
don’t let tony zendejas find you like you are in that picture. he’ll take that booty.
On the virtual book tour, BDD tells dick jokes, loves the Vikings, curses like a drunken sailor… but he can FLY!!!
If ESPN allows you to make dick jokes on their site, then we are truly in the end of days.
REPENT I SAY, REPENT!!!
I had the same couch in College – fuck that thing – cushions could never stay in one place…
@Jim U. I’m hoping it’s a Tommy from Quinzee post, followed by 50,000 irate posts from ESPN commenters.
Nothing screams “reputable author” like a white collared shirt accented by powder blue mesh shorts.
Next stop: Love Line with Dr. Drew and Striker so we can hear BDD tell teens what to do when their girlfriend qweefs in their face during oral.
By the way, how does one handle that?
@Boatdrinks, I hate your brother.
Can you give Kelly Ripa a nice little squeeze for me when you’re on their show?
Don’t make it TOOO sexual, but only just …
@UU. Exactly. My brother moved to West Palm and was kind enough to send this yesterday. Shithead.
So after ESPN.com is done “editing” your article, there’s gonna be like 7 words left in it.
@Boatdrinks, yeah who wouldn’t want to visit lovely upstate NY between the months of November and February?
Oh man, I was really looking forward to your appearance on The View tomorrow morning.
They already have their own fat retarded blowhard.
You could get to do that kind of roadtrip Drew! Or not, hang out on that couch some more!
I think virtual works, from the picture it doesn’t really like Drew has the energy to travel from here, to there to everywhere.
Mildly amusing utube my kind brother sent me; Northerners will recognize this commute.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/yt-XxEdo2xKKXA/wintery_syracuse_ny_commute/
Then I will happily buy you a virtual beer afterwards.
Will there be a virtual book signing to go along with the virtual book tour?
How long before your podcast with Simmons? Maybe you can get JackO to appear too.
he’s limp everythinged in that picture. Fagalicious
Is Drewkakke what you call it when you sully your wife’s towels with your solid waste leavings?
You are limp-wristed in that picture. Fag, Fag, Fag.
Oh man, I was really looking forward to your appearance on The View tomorrow morning.
You’re ugly and I hate you.
It’s a new age in book whoring. I welcome it.