As the NBC talking heads reminded us last night, John Madden was absent from the announcng booth for the first time in 28 years, reducing the blithering idiocy of the telecast by approximately 100 percent. Or, as Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth put it, Madden “gets one night off every 28 years.”
Yes, that poor, overworked John Madden. He hasn’t had a day off in 28 years. Well, except for Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays during the season, plus all of February, March, April, May, June, July, and most of August. Let the man rest, people! He sometimes works as many as 24, even 25 days a year! His hands must be callused from gripping a microphone so continuously!
And yet, Madden’s absence improved the viewing experience immeasurably. So I don’t really know what my point is. It’s bullshit that he gets lauded for taking a day off when all he gets are days off, yet I want him to take more days off. So, uh… what I’m trying to say here is, fuck John Madden. Fuck him right in his brain embolism.
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@Shaft
No, the all lower case and way to much punctuation, not to mention typing a comment like you are a texting 12 year old girl, disqualifies your opinion. That and the fact that your opinion is stupid. Asshole.
umm…..can you say..irrational hatred?
John madden..out of all the douches..all the assholes..all the idiots in sports to have a problem with..John Madden?
did you invent the turducken in your basement and are angry he got the credit for it??
Thats…really weird..
o….and im not typing in caps so hopefully that doesnt disqualify my opinion…assholes
I don’t understand why NBC doesn’t just drug Madden up every week and shove him on a plane, like they used to do to B.A. Baracus on The A-Team. Surely Al Michaels is capable of filling the Howlin’ Mad Murdock role.
Hey, could be worse.
They could hire simmons to do the NE games.
What do they have a dick raffle each quarter or something? I don’t ever win anything when I get in a raffle, no door prize, no coupon for $5, not even a single dick, much less multiples. John Madden is the luckiest man…ever!
hating on the obvious remarks that he makes aside, the single funniest moment in football history has to be when john madden drew a penis on the telestrator during a giants game.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1z03b1wveM&feature=related
another little nugget of fun: a youtube search revealed that john madden has in fact drawn multiple dicks during multiple games
Is Madden the best announcer in the world? No, of course not. But with the likes of Joe Buck, Tim McCarver, Dick Vitale, Billy Packer, and a host of others still polluting the sports airwaves, Madden is far from the worst offender.
Madden informs without intruding on the game, Vitale intrudes on the game without informing.
I don’t care what anyone says. I grew up listening to Madden, and I’ll be sad the day after he’s gone. Madden and Michaels, or Madden and Summerall, or Madden and Jo-Jo the god damn Indian Circus Boy will always be better than anything the folks over at Monday Night Football can cobble together. And Madden’s a lot easier on the ears than creepy-ass Joe Buck.
it’s simple, the multiple time zone changes have a dramatic impact on the time settings for his medic alert pendant. The call center with 47 people on stand by just waiting on him to have a heart attack while eating 16 lbs of fried shrimp after a game are unable to technically handle his travel needs. duh!
@ Christmas Ape — i stand back in awe and applaud
i find Madden mildly annoying but easy to ignore. mainly because as long as Joe Buck is alive and talking i want my hate to remain focused and undiluted
Even though Madden is a terrible broadcaster these days and your point is completely valid, it’s hard for me to dislike the guy because I naturally associate his voice with so many awesome football memories. Kinda like an old chocolate cake…sure the thing may not taste as good now, but it still smells fucking delicious and reminds you of the party you enjoyed it on.
(Seriously though, if anyone needs a terrible analogy, I’ll be here all year)
Weird, I didn’t add that link. Does Angelina Jolie control the Internet, too?
Hey, c’mon, yapping nonstop for 4 hours has got to really take it out of a guy.
Remarking on Madden’s “day off” is almost as ridiculous as when magazines feature multimillionaire actress moms like Angelina Jolie or Halle Berry talking about how they handle a career and motherhood.
@Ian: NEVER go full retard. Just look at DanMothman up there, drooling all over his turducken. DON’T BE THAT RETARD.
Oh yeah, I hear Frank Caliendo does a good Madden.
frank caliendo does impressions?
Too bad the game ruined it for the rest of us.
Like Madden, I have an irrational fear of flying. I dread the whole experience.
Unlike Madden, I get it together, remind myself that I have testicles and I GET ON THE FUCKING PLANE BECAUSE I HAVE TO.
How scary can a chartered luxury flight for a pampered network star be? If Madden were to fly, he wouldn’t have to buy a ticket based on the airline’s price and schedule, then find a lift to the airport, go through bullshit check-in and security, sit in a cramped coach seat and then work out transport, food and lodging on his own. If you’re afraid of flying, do what I do and just get loaded before you get on the plane.
The best part is he didn’t need a week off, there’s no SNF next week anyway.
Way too much Madden hate here. The guy is a fine announcer when the game is good and who cares when the game is a blow out.
Where’s the anti-Childress post??? I’ve been waiting all day for that ….
Wahhhhh, even Marmalard is outraged and ready to whine about it
Fucking helium balloons. Everyone not at the Bills game missed one of the greatest Marmalard moments ever. He threw a hissy fit that would make a 2 year old say “whoa dude, you gotta calm down a little.” He literally stomped his feet, jumped up and down, and waved his arms all the way to the sideline.
His hands must be callused from gripping a microphone so continuously!
Well, he has a callused lapel, at least…
@Ape: Also: “Boom! Tough actin’ Tinactin”
How he still has a job, I can not explain. DanMothman…I reiterate…retard.
dude, amen CC, amen
fuck Madden
I was not surprised at all that the network was willing to cover up the fact that John Madden is too turduckenshit to get his old bloated ass on an airplane to go from California to Florida and back in consecutive weeks.
“[Grunting gibberish] You see what Caveman did right here? He takes his argument, right here, that I live the easy life, puts it into words on the page, spaces out individual thoughts into paragraphs then adds a punctuation mark here, here and here. And boom! Total takedown of me. That’s a classic Caveman move right there.”
“And that’s how big that turducken was…”
SHHH… Narcoleptic John Madden is dreaming of OMG RIBS
Maddens says he wants to take time off so he can be with his buffet.
Oh yeah, I hear Frank Caliendo does a good Madden.
OH MY GOD I TYPE IN ALL CAPS AND USE NO PUNCTUATION OF COURSE I LOVE JOHN MADDEN
retard
Wahhhhh, even Marmalard is outraged and ready to whine about it
DanMothman, please shut up.
John Madden rapes the English language and the minds of viewers.
You forget all the time he spends programming video games.
HEY I LOVE JOHN MADDEN FUCK YOU