Recently I wrote that grown men wearing team jerseys looked like fucking dorks. But that was before I GOT THIS TOTALLY SWEET PURPLE JESUS JERSEY, YOU WHORES.
I totally look like a professional football player now. I could run out onto that field and they’d all be none the wiser! MWAHAHAHAHA! I bet Troy Aikman would be totally blown away by how firm my handshake is.
Anyway, here’s your Sunday open thread. Your early slate is highlighted by that naughty Iggles-Redskins tilt. Which team will come out with overly inflated expectations for the rest of the year? We’ll just have to see. I’ll be taking it all in while looking like a consummate professional.
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It’s exhausting to seek out knowledgeable individuals on this matter, however you sound like you realize what you’re speaking about! Thanks
Unhappy for the huge variety, but I’m real loverly the new Zune, and wish this, as symptomless as the excellent reviews any new group make graphical, faculty serve you decide if it’s the redress pick for you.
blue magic >>> blue jesus
Hold up.
Did I hear somebody refer to Giles as “that librarian from Buffy”?
Get the fuck outta town!
Interesting sidenote: Fuck Tennessee and everything that came out of it, particularly Bo Scaife. I look up and it’s “oh collins completed another pass to scaife FUCK YOU SAMARI ROLLE FOR BEING HURT”
Lord in heaven the Bengals are weak.
Ladies and Gents, your 2008 Cincy Bengals!
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a Sexy Rexy sighting.
I humbly submit to you that Dan Orlovsky in the last 3 minutes of the Bears-Lions game got…
KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT.
Colts just scored 21 in 2:10, off TWO RosenFAIL’s fumbles.
/Just in case your watching a boring game
Sage RosenFAIL!
Everyone watching the Chiefs/Panthers game just found out Herm Edwards is the dumbest motherfucker on the planet.
Nobody said it or anything, but it really ought to be apparent by now.
Everyone watching the Bears/Lions game just found out Kyle Orton drives a Prius.
I feel you all must know these things.
Colts outscored 27-0 since the first quarter…..fuck that. I’m lucky I have to drive all night or I’d be shithoused right now.
Seattle +7.5 at New York
The receivers are back, and look how happy they are to be there! But hey, you try not laughing when Mike Holmgren starts showing off his new trick…
Welp, you’re fired.
NFL teams clearly need the option to forfeit.
KOGOD just came all over Sarah Schorno’s tits when Randal El threw that TD pass to Cooley.
Fuck lion
Try this on for size: Barrel of a loaded H&K, in my mouth.
Try this on for size: Eli Manning, 2008 NFL MVP
@ Robinson
Neither one of those teams (KC or Detroit) would even compete in the CFL, let alone the NFL
DeAngello Williams + my bench = cause for a fucking murder spree
KC’s offense is an immovable object. If you combined KC’s defense with Detroit’s offense, you’d almost have an NFL-caliber team, although they’d probably still only win five games.
Too bad the Chiefs and Lions don’t play this season; it would be interesting watching the resistable force vs. the movable object.
And, I’m NOT saying that my handle’s namesake is anything more than a mediocrity…but I’m seeing a lot of fantasy owners picking him off the waiver wire this Tuesday. Just sayin’
/taking his first small sips of the Kool-Aid
Domenik Hixon = blue jesus
The Lions’ D is so bad, that alone makes them the worst team in the league. After three and a half games of this shit, I guarantee that any team could beat them. It wouldn’t even be close. With these coaches, there is serious 0-16 potential.
In summation: I am given the choice of watching Green Bay/Atlanta or Kansas City/Carolina, my fantasy team is getting killed because my receivers are shitstains, and Kyle fucking Orton’s neckbeard is lighting up my team. I hope my daughter can look after herself for the day, I think it’s time for daddy to start drinking.
Before the season, I opined that the Bears might be the worst team in the NFL. After this first half, I would like to submit a new nomination for that office.
every time Billick refers to his coaching career in the present tense, do a shot!
Four plays and 80 yards in 1:58. The 2008 Lions are good at one thing: Making shitty quarterbacks look like franchise cornerstones.
@Robinson:
Baldinger and Vasgersian, it’s pretty awful. Billick is in there somewhere too. Vasgersian isn’t awful, he just doesn’t seem to be very familiar with football…it’s not gonna be a “false start” if there was no whistle, etc, etc.
Anyone give an update on whether or not any manning face’s have been made at NFL stadiums around the league today?
Broncos over Bucs by 7 today
Wait, Clay Aiken gives Bj’s? Why wasn’t I informed of this when he was trying to bang me? I thought he just wanted sex!
Hey, who gave the librarian from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” a Vikings jersey?
I’m not going to bother reading any of the other comments. Im sure it’s safe to assume that I’m the first person to make a, “Why’s (blank) wearing that Vikings jersey?” joke
Kitna only allows Jesus to fellate him.
And by Jesus, I mean some poor Mexican dude named Jesus.
Walt S, ‘Pre Game BJ’s’ GREAT Fantasy team name!
I don’t know who’s blowing Kitna before games, but I wish they’d stop too. Perhaps it is Clay Aiken.
Rob, Its OK, Jessica’s holding off on the pre game BJ’s now, so he should be good from here on out… albeit Herpes free :/
@Walter – Does Dallas get an automatic bye past the conference championship? Because as long as Romo’s starting that game, I’d hold off on the travel plans.
Funny, people say Drew’s face looks like Dwight’s, but his tits look like Pam’s
Ben Davidson, shit head.
@ Jackin
Feliz better be let loose today as well. Why not? Its the fucking Bengals! And all these haters can go fuck themselves. I’ve already bought my plane tickets to Tampa!
@slothrop – I didn’t even notice the crustache. That’s nice.
also Drew, that mustache is coming in nicely. Ben Davis is getting jealous.
@289: -99 to me. Will punch myself in the groin repeatedly until I realize it’s the 21st century.
jayhawk: City could have used Drew today against the Scousers!
And the Texans D just rose to the challenge…oh wait…no that was just Gonzalez dropping a 1st down ball.
well that’s a gunsling-y play by Rodgers.
It’s a good thing then that Arizona plays in the NFC Gastropod.
@spanky – Sage Rosenfels is a human dick punch. I don’t know what that means, but it makes sense to me.
dammit, how do I put HTML tags in these posts?
http://shirts.soccerlens.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/manchester-city-away-07-08.jpg
How about that? It turns out that if you let Rudi Johnson run the ball instead of that shithead rookie from South Florida, YOU ACTUALLY MOVE THE CHAINS. That Rod Marinelli sure is a smart cookie.
Yeah, you look like a professional football player alright.
For Manchester City.
Playing Striker. Diving specialist.
I don’t care what anyone says about Arizona, the Seattle SeaSlugs are still the team to beat in the AFC Gastropod.
Umm, dick joke.
Self dick punching isn’t masturbation? I’ve been doing this wrong the whole time … kind of like the Texans!
@TF: go to Gravatar.com and upload it there.
And Indy vs Houston is turning into an offensive back and forth. WTF?
See, this is just like the Always Be Covering post featuring hot talent in a jersey.
Except I’m punching myself in the dick instead of masturbating.
There’s no way that’s really Drew. I only count two chins.
Fuck me for taking the Packs this week.
@robo-I guess at least I don’t have to deal with that. Vasgersian’s the play-by-play guy I think…who’s on commentary?
This numbnuts on the Bears-Lions game just told us about how Kitna was pinned back, WHILE the ref was signaling that it was a touch back.
I am sick and fucking tired of living in close proximity to Kansas City. This is the least enjoyable team in the league to watch. Fuck you, CBS.
Jesus fuck snake the Packers are awful.
Eli Manning looks good so far. Glad I bet the Redskins. Fuck
Six plays before somebody not named Matt Forte gets a touch for the Bears.
I have Indy @ Houston and Seattle @ NYG and both stadiums look half empty!
I chose the Panthers as my suicide pick. They are going to get blown out by whatever stupid plan herm came up with
@ Robinson Heavy burden being a Lions fan my man. I still hate the kittens for clawing the Cowboys at the begining of the Jimmy Johnson run.
/bitter
Why is Purple Jebus wearing glasses?
@ Spanky
Actually, if Kyle Orton torches the Lions in the 1st quarter like Ryan, Rodgers, and O’Sullivan did, that’s exactly how I’ll be watching the rest of the game.
Why is Dwight Schrute wearing a Vikings jersey?
Who’s this “Drew” you speak of? I only see a picture of Adrian Peterson at the top, although that’s a funny haircut for a black guy.
@Walter Sobchek: Welcome fellow Cowboys fan. Wear that jersey with pride. Just make sure you keep your eyes open on the High 5. And MB III is getting 150 yards today after last week’s disaster.
In the Hines Smire Factoly league there’s nine of us left.
@Robinson
And by ‘rocking’ you mean on the floor, in the corner, fetal position…right?
If you try to force oral on him, he will not hesitate to bite off your penis.
I’ve been reading here about Drew looking like Dwight Schrute and Michael J. Fox, but I think he looks more like Tobias Beecher on “Oz”. He was the drunk-driving lawyer who becomes the Nazi’s bitch, then gets his revenge.
College football sidenote: Chase Daniel can go get fucked. I had to sit through three quarters of that shit at Memorial Stadium last night and not make Deliverance jokes because the Mizzou fan next to me looked like a poor man’s Megan Fox.