Don’t Touch Him! You’ll Get the Stink of Failure All Over You!
Memo to all NFL players: Any interaction with Brian Russell, no matter how small, can be calamitous to your career.
Vernon Davis learned the hard way. All he did Sunday was hustle 70 yards downfield to try to stop a Josh Wilson pick-6 and continue to be a “draft bust” by blocking in the Martz scheme that marginalizes him as a receiver. But he was powerless against noted incompetent dickface Brian Russell, who baited Davis into committing the 15-yard personal foul that awesomely set off Mount Singletary.
How does Russell do it? Well, how would YOU do it if you were too slow and too weak to stop any play on the field? Your only hope to make up for, say, a 29-yard Frank Gore run after you accidentally set a pick on a teammate (that actually happened on Sunday) is to be a huge enough asshole — just come off as a total bitch of a man, a weakling with a big mouth — that larger, faster, and more talented players lose their cool and rightfully smack your stupid bitch face.
How come it’s only the GOOD safeties that get murdered?
October 29th, 2008 at 10:19 am
What fun is it to shoot a slow, white guy with a real dick haircut?
October 29th, 2008 at 10:29 am
His head looks like a testicle.
October 29th, 2008 at 10:51 am
It just doesn’t make sense that he still has a job. Did Holmgren not notice that he was previously a key cog of two historically bad secondaries? Must have a ‘ride the walrus’ clause in his contract.
October 29th, 2008 at 10:56 am
First he lets Jordan hit the series winner in his face, then he gets his skin bleached, and now this?
October 29th, 2008 at 10:56 am
White slow and stupid is no way to play safety, son.
October 29th, 2008 at 11:00 am
The employment of Brian Russel is Holmgren’s parthian shot towards the Seahawks organization.
October 29th, 2008 at 11:10 am
Wednesdays are for homerism now, too?
When do I get to throw on my “Ronde Barber Couldn’t Tackle a Fishing Pole” post
October 29th, 2008 at 11:12 am
i love how this asshat has become KSK villain numero uno.
October 29th, 2008 at 11:14 am
If he were a negro the love would be pouring in.
October 29th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Hey Cap -
Maybe he can contribute on offense as a WR. It’s not like the Seabags have any healthy ones left. And his dick attitude can be attributed to the fact that he’s a primadona WR. Now only if he didn’t run a 5.1/40…
October 29th, 2008 at 11:20 am
/mails a bulletproof vest to Tanard Jackson
October 29th, 2008 at 11:20 am
“How come it’s only the GOOD safeties that get murdered?”
So you’re saying I should grab Kenny Phillips for my dead pool?
October 29th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Is this any way to talk about your future quarterback?
October 29th, 2008 at 11:41 am
@dougery
I could have sworn Michael Irvin was enemy #1. Unless of course you forgot that the Playmaker is an attempted murderer.
October 29th, 2008 at 11:46 am
This is far and away my favorite vendetta, without an end in sight really
October 29th, 2008 at 11:50 am
I’d like to add Jason David to this vendetta. Oh, and Marteen Gramatica.
Pretty please?
October 29th, 2008 at 11:51 am
bad safeties get their dogs poisoned
October 29th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
While we’re adding useless white players to the vendetta, kindly add Brad Johnson and his limp wristed right arm. Mucho gracias.
October 29th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
“a 29-yard Frank Gore run after you accidentally set a pick on a teammate”
swear to Him, CC, i immediately thought of you when i saw this play on Sunday. and then had to explain to my friends at the bar why i was doubled over laughing.
@ J4B — i see your Brad Johnson and raise you a J.T. of the Family O’Sullivan
October 29th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
What happened to that preseason Seattle Super Bowl prediction? Still standing by that?
October 29th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Sean Astin felt Vernon Davis same frustration about his performance in Memphis Belle.
October 29th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
@ foxxy brown – watched packers squawks game and couldn’t begin to explain to my wife what was so funny.
B. Russell wants to know if it is too late to jump on the TB Ray’s dog pile.
October 29th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Vernon Davis is a little bitch punk.
October 29th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Brian Russell: Destroying Franchises, One Secondary At A Time.
October 29th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
what else do you expect from a safety who the fucking browns cut? how sad of an organization do you have to be to pick up cleveland’s castaways? that’s like going after tara reid’s exes.
October 29th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
What, so…Tom Brady?
I can’t remember what I going to say. I think I was going to ask what failure smells like.
October 29th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
If only this guy could get played up more in the media, ol’ Double J would have to sign him to a mega million dollar deal.
Which would basically solidify Pro-Bowl spots for Manning, Campbell and McNabb every year.
October 29th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
I remember his three seasons with the Vikings. Guh. Nearly every INT he got came from being grossly out of position and catching someone else’s tipped pass.
His Rampant Douchebaggery is easily explained: he’s from southern California, brah.
October 29th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Brian Russell is the Jose Vidro of football. Hell, the Mariners finally gathered enough basic common sense to drop Vidro this season, and the M’s a run by retards.
What are the Seahawks waiting for? What, do they want to see Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin gang-rape him?
December 5th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
you guys are wrong, EVERY plyer, high school ,college, pros have good games and bad ones. We have a weak pass rush so even Deon sanders couldnt cover for that long out there. Brian Russel is a leader, a good teamate and plays hard, and hes smart out there. Can he step his game up..absoloutly, so can the whole team. Some of the comemnts here are just ignorant and dumb….half of the people here never played football let alone past high school. I play free safety so I understand the posistion. And no Russell wasnt “cut from browns” they tried to re sign him but he chose to come here as a free agent. He also led the vikings in interceptions. I belive that it is more of our defensive calls and scheme then outp layers. the lack of any pressure (pass rush and blitzs) puts our secondary in extreme pressure. aka even the best corner in the NFl couldnt cover a bad reciver for 20 seconds, eventually theyll be open.
March 16th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
What a bunch of crock from a bunch of never-was schleps. The experts in the sport have picked this guy and paid him serious dough for his talent and work ethic and you losers blame him for every wrong move the team makes. I’ve never seen such hating in my life…jealous much?
March 17th, 2009 at 12:16 am
@Shoeless
You’re right. The Seahawks just suck in general. It’s not his fault Seattle pays him to put on a uniform.