You know, you New York Giants deserve some more respect. That’s why I’m going to do everything I can from to help you guys out today. Well, everything that can be done from 20 yards off the line of scrimmage, anyway.

Why, hello there, Brandon Jacobs. No, don’t mind me. You keep running by, I prefer the challenge of tackling you from behind.

Derrick Ward, is it? Well, we can’t let Brandon get ALL the yards on the ground, can we?

(Eli Manning play-fakes)

Where’d the ball go?!?! It’s a run! It’s a run! I have to get to the line immediately!

(Sinorice Moss catches touchdown)

Wow, that was amazing! Y’know, Eli really is one of the greatest quarterbacks in the league. Heck, he’s completed almost all of the passes he’s overthrown today!

Look at that, another stillborn possession by our offense. All right, c’mon guys! Let’s get out there and ALLOW SOME TOUCHDOWNS!!! WOOOOOOOOOO!