Domenik Hixon, I’m gonna make you a STAR!
You know, you New York Giants deserve some more respect. That’s why I’m going to do everything I can from to help you guys out today. Well, everything that can be done from 20 yards off the line of scrimmage, anyway.
Why, hello there, Brandon Jacobs. No, don’t mind me. You keep running by, I prefer the challenge of tackling you from behind.
Derrick Ward, is it? Well, we can’t let Brandon get ALL the yards on the ground, can we?
(Eli Manning play-fakes)
Where’d the ball go?!?! It’s a run! It’s a run! I have to get to the line immediately!
(Sinorice Moss catches touchdown)
Wow, that was amazing! Y’know, Eli really is one of the greatest quarterbacks in the league. Heck, he’s completed almost all of the passes he’s overthrown today!
Look at that, another stillborn possession by our offense. All right, c’mon guys! Let’s get out there and ALLOW SOME TOUCHDOWNS!!! WOOOOOOOOOO!
Tags: Brian Fucking Russell, captain caveman, seattle seahawks, sundays are for homerism
![[badge]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/themes/default/images/100121_FOXmsnBadge_200x50.gif)
October 5th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
The whiteness of that jersey is only barely matched by the whiteness of Russell’s DB play.
I hear Troy Brown’s available–he’s probably a better option at this point.
October 5th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
So…Brian Russell is channeling Adam Archuleta v.2K7?
October 5th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Poor guy…. being outwitted by Eli Manning is almost as bad as being outwitted by…. by….. nope, nothing is that bad.
October 5th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
With all due respect, after those September 11th jokes… karma is a bitch.
October 5th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
I usually don’t drink more than a couple beers when I watch my teams play, but I am currently getting wasted on PBR. The Colts’ season thus far has been a fucking abortion.
October 5th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Yes, because one asshole on the Internet was publicized for being an asshole, it karmically affected the team’s play.
So, I guess the Rams suck because of the Dred Scot decision?
October 5th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
smurphette, any truth to the rumors that Peyton Manning’s portait at the Manning household suddenly looks like Burgess Meredith?
October 5th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Well, Roger Taney was an asshole too…
October 5th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Uff, that’s as good a reason as any to help explain the Chiefs’ play as well.
October 5th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
As soon as I saw Sinorice Moss score, I knew it was this guys fault..I mean David Carr even got a score….Mr. Mittens !!!
October 5th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
This thread isn’t very open . . .
October 5th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Like a 17 year old vagina this thread is open, but no one really wants in just yet.
/shows self out.
October 5th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
@Smurphette – you and I are both drinking, but for vastly different reasons now than we were a half hour ago. BELIEVE.
October 5th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Fuck and yes. Took a while, but the defense finally decided to show up! I cannot express how relieved I am to go into the toughest stretch of our schedule back at .500 instead of 1-3.
October 5th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
The Seahawks got knocked the fuck out. MAAAAAAAAAAAN!
October 5th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Giants handled sorry ass seahawks like those firefighter congressmen in the sprint commercial
October 5th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
As a recent 1 and done pick up owner of Dominik Hixon, I thank you Mr. Russell. My fantasy team, who has shit the bed since Colston and Burleson got hurt, Hasselbeck lost every possible receiver he could throw to, and Willis McGahee got a major case of vaginitis, was on life support due to Clinton Portis and Reggie Bush putting up massive numbers. You really helped me out by giving Hixon a really nice game.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:24 am
Local sports reported yesterday’s Eagles game was not a must win game because they could win next week and be 500 going in to the bye week. Andy reid can’t manage a schedule any better than he can manage a clock. Where the fuck is Jim Fassell these days?
October 6th, 2008 at 10:27 am
Honestly…Russell’s gotta go…I swear he actually put on a Giants jersey yesterday and said to himself…’ahh yes…they’ll never see me coming whilst in disguise…’ fuckin 1-4 Seachickens…
The only saving grace is that we can probably still win this terrible division we’re in.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:47 am
FUCK
/that is all
October 6th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Please. Keep fueling the Giants by doubting them. I’m sure they all read this site, and will be posting your lame excuses for the Seahawks on their bulletin board this week.
Domenik Hixon is the Truth, only with less stab wounds.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:46 am
I prefer the challenge of tackling you from behind.
the raiders used to have stu schwiegert do this all the fucking time. i’m a little surprised he’s not a seahawk by now.
October 6th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Is Brian Russell playing with two broken legs?
If not, can it be arranged?
http://12seahawksway.blogspot.com/2008/10/pictorial-essay-of-throbbing-pain-of.html
October 6th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Yeah I got nothing to add this week. We’re really bad. But hey all the Giants fans saying we suck, we’d taken the last 5 from you clowns so we can’t be too bad. Looks like the end of another non-super Bowl era though. (Insert complaint about Pittsburgh resident referee here)
October 6th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
“guhh, if he plays much worse he’ll have to take a job in finance, do the occasional motivational speaking gig, and marry a cheerleader who wasn’t even on the cover of the swimsuit calendar!”
October 6th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
So, I guess the Rams suck because of the Dred Scot decision?
Technically, everything about St Louis sucks, so maybe this is the root cause.
And in regards to Mr. Russell, even Jason Sehorn is embarrassed by you. For shame!
October 6th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Mike Holmgren, his offense coordinator & defensive coordinator were all angry about the loss yesterday, but each of them are more upset that Matlock was preempted this morning, the tapioca pudding was too cold and other people drive their cars faster than 12 MPH.
/GIT OFF MY LAWN, YOU YOUNG WHIPPER-SNAPPERS!!!