Courtnee (center) Remembers Her First Time
I was only fifteen when I first fell in love. His name was Danny and he lived three doors down the street from me. Danny would always walk me home from school. I knew that he liked me but I decided to be coy until he asked me out. When the homecoming dance came around, I really wanted him to ask me, but I knew other girls would be asking him, too. But then one day, on one of our walks home, he asked me, “Can I call you tonight? I need to talk to you about something.” That’s when I knew.
Our families met at Danny’s house for homecoming. I’d seen his mom lots of times, but this was the first time I’d met Danny’s dad. I remember he had big hands and he looked younger than his age. While my mom was showing off our family photo album, I took Danny’s dad in my mouth in the laundry room while I stuck a finger up his ass. He wouldn’t let me swallow his…you know…but that was probably a good idea. I can still remember the scent of his balls. My God, he was such a man. But then he slapped me in the face and yelled at me to go upstairs, which is where I probably should have been all along.
Danny and I had a great time at the dance. That helped me forget about that stupid thing I did beforehand. After the dance, we went to a party and Danny had too much to drink. I was only drinking Pepsi that night, so I took Danny’s keys and drove him home. His dad was waiting in the living room, and after he put Danny to bed, we 69′ed under the coffee table as quietly as we could. I remember seeing one of his wife’s slippers in the corner of the room while he was slurping out my little gash. What a lucky woman she was, I thought to myself.
We were tender and gentle for an hour, but then he suddenly threw me out. I cried all the way home. What had I done wrong? I sobbed quietly in the shower; I didn’t want my parents to hear me. How would I explain myself? But what I didn’t realize was that Danny woke up in the middle of the night and snuck out of his bedroom window to see me. I had just showered and picked up my Reader’s Digest when I heard him outside. He was the only person I wanted to see! I let him in through the front door and that’s when he kissed me. I took him upstairs and we held each other in bed. He kissed me some more, and that’s when we went all the way. It was so innocent. It was wonderful. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. It really was perfect.
The next weekend, I totally let his dad fuck me doggystyle in the garage. Hey, what was I supposed to do? That man was huge!
Tags: fictional, fictional cheerleader bios, MMP
October 31st, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Wow. KSK meets Penthouse Forum. When worlds collide.
So, how’s that KSK Suicide Pool coming along?
October 31st, 2008 at 3:06 pm
We were tender and gentile for an hour
Antisemite!
October 31st, 2008 at 3:14 pm
I GOT A BOOM BOOM
October 31st, 2008 at 3:15 pm
This is exactly how my first time went! Except Danny was named Todd and there was a hockey stick involved.
October 31st, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Where’s the “jeez punter that’s just right” tag?
October 31st, 2008 at 3:26 pm
+1 stealofthedraft
The retarded spelling of the name Courtney was a nice touch.
October 31st, 2008 at 3:27 pm
You guys are totally going to get sued doing this, eventually.
October 31st, 2008 at 3:33 pm
@ Ben: Nah, Courtnee’s dad is cool.
October 31st, 2008 at 3:35 pm
What exactly is the costume of the one on the right? Is she a “sexy military dictator”?
October 31st, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Punter, I would really appreciate if you kept your personal experiences off of this site.
October 31st, 2008 at 3:43 pm
She’s the Four Star Pinup, here:
http://www.3wishes.com/military.asp
I know this because after she saw a Halloween game last year, my girlfriend, who has 3wishes as a permanent bookmark, explained that all NFL cheerleaders get their gear from that site. I kid you not. Sexy Harry Potter Chick is on there, too.
This, by the way, is why Osama hates us.
October 31st, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Ah, young love.
October 31st, 2008 at 3:49 pm
reads eerily like my own first time.
October 31st, 2008 at 3:49 pm
I did her like this. I did her like that. I did her with a wiffle ball bat. Soooooooooooooo!!
October 31st, 2008 at 3:50 pm
I wish I had Danny’s dad’s game. He can even quietly 69!
October 31st, 2008 at 3:54 pm
I hope my dead family members weren’t watching me as a read this post.
October 31st, 2008 at 4:00 pm
@ Ben
Big score on the 3wishes link. Osama bin Laden would buy the Liv Openly costume for his camel if he could get wi-fi in his cave.
October 31st, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Is nice when you can cherish the memories.
Some of us are only left vaguely recollecting some chick yelling at us for being drunk and finishing too quickly.
Not that this happened to me.
October 31st, 2008 at 4:14 pm
At least you could get it up.
October 31st, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Yep, I down with the 3wishes site as well. That would be a great site to buy your lady friend (or man friend for all you Brady Quinn folk out there) a giftcard from. Schawing!
October 31st, 2008 at 4:40 pm
At least it was a chick yelling at you.
October 31st, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Dorothy’s looking hot, but what’s with that dude in the nurse’s uniform? Guys who dress up like women on Halloween aren’t funny they’re creepy.
October 31st, 2008 at 4:54 pm
I want to know where you get a coffee table tall enough to 69 under.
October 31st, 2008 at 5:08 pm
@Punch – ILika, I believe.
October 31st, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Wow… just complete and utter disbelief.
It seemed like a nice story, until I was slapped in the face with “I took Danny’s dad in my mouth in the laundry room while I stuck a finger up his ass.”
That was a twist I did not see coming…
October 31st, 2008 at 5:46 pm
This is how I ended up with Sarah Palin as my VP… except for us it involved a hockey stick.
My butt-hole is still sore.
:(
October 31st, 2008 at 6:20 pm
I can’t wait till my kid starts bringing cheerleaders home. I’m changing his name to Danny and practicing my gash slurping technique in the meantime. Oh, and door number 3.
October 31st, 2008 at 10:46 pm
@Gino:
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/155210/?tag=Randy
November 1st, 2008 at 12:42 am
@Mark from Calgary Says:
This was a twist I did not see coming…
Neither did she.
November 1st, 2008 at 1:58 am
This whole page is ROFL
November 2nd, 2008 at 2:51 am
@ dAndy ManCandy
the ‘Brady Quinn is gay’ joke never gets old. NEVER.
November 2nd, 2008 at 4:01 am
15 years is a lot of time sitting around on my ass. i don’t have all day
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:59 am
I’m pretty sure I saw Danny butt-fucking his Dad later that morning…. and by “pretty sure” I mean
Holy Jesus my ass hurts” and by “butt-fucking” I mean “Holy Jesus my ass REALLY fucking hurts”..
Signed,
Danny Dad
November 2nd, 2008 at 12:21 pm
I’m pretty sure “Carissa” is illegal in most states, but damn do I not give a shit.
http://www.3wishes.com/bride.asp
November 2nd, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I love this site
November 2nd, 2008 at 6:02 pm
First impressions of KSK, WTF? Ok count me in.
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Man…I thought I was her first!