Bills, Bolts and the Bungles: The Filler Bees
Oh no! This grizzled Bills backer has gone off and abducted some unsuspecting Chargers cheerleaders and plans to exploit them for his own twisted ends. Or maybe its their twisted ends. However it works in his dungeon, San Diego and Buffalo highlight the early games, along with the epic Frerotte-Orton face-off and the prospect of po’ widdle Womo overcoming his pinky injuwee. Meanwhile, I’ll be at the Steelers bar enjoying the season debuts of Limas Sweed and the $7 million white elephant that is Max Starks. Huzzah.
It’s not only Drew who’s suffering the ill effects of people being way too fucking into Halloween. My neighbor down the hall has put up one of those talking motion sensor Halloween wreaths. You know, these sort of things are just jake if they’re on a standalone house where they’re relatively harmless, but a talking bauble is not something you put up in a hallway of an apartment complex, where people are constantly passing by your front door. What’s worse, this thing is, like, 12 feet from my front door, so I can hear it from my living room when other people pass it in the hall (curse you, paper-thin walls!).
Seriously, the home owners association bans everything under the sun and let’s this shit slide. You people are beyond useless. I want to set this thing on fire. Then shiv its owner and play with his blood.
Enjoy the games!
Tags: open thread, shiv thy neighbor, xmas ape
October 19th, 2008 at 10:35 am
I have a drawer full of batteries aquired from shitty decorations my neighbors have hung up.
Yep, I’m that guy!
Also, Hannah Storm looks like a dirty, dirty girl this morn. Spanky likey!!
October 19th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Shiv thy neighbor indeed, Ape…….shiv thy neighbor indeed.
DISCLAIMER: my in-laws are my neighbors
October 19th, 2008 at 11:23 am
I’m so wanting to be that guy who scares all the kids and their insanely overzealous parents away from my door on Halloween. Just go the fuck away so I don’t have to make you piss yourself.
I have noticed that Hannah Storm likes to comes straight from the club to the SportsCenter set on Sundays. Delightfully MILFY.
October 19th, 2008 at 11:44 am
I have no Halloween worries this year. Rivalry football game at 7pm, bonfire and beer til ?. I wonder if Hannah has plans that Friday?
MILFY indeed.
October 19th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
@ the Stig
Who are you, Ray Romano?
Ape, was that an American Psycho reference? If so, approve.
October 19th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Who are you, Ray Romano?
My thoughts exactly. My inlaws live in another country, and it’s still a little too close for comfort.
October 19th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I have a very comfortable relationship with my in-laws. They’re dead.
October 19th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Be careful when you go to shiv your neighbors- they’re probably watching through the peep hole constantly to see people’s reactions to that wreath.
October 19th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
‘Everybody Loves Stig’ New sit-com.
October 19th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Green bay and Indy should be a helluva a game. 5 cum shots for that one.
October 19th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Hines Wald eat midder rinebackel fol blekfast!
October 19th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Brad (Father of Maximus) Johnson scores on opening drive…TRADE ROMO!!!!111!!
October 19th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Bills and Chargers fans, enjoy this bonus coverage of The Steve Harvey show!
October 19th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Hines Wald wirr be fined fol that brock.
I folesee a Tloy Poramanu lant this week.
October 19th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Who is this Charissa Thompson sideline reporter for the Bears-Vikes game?
She’s dressed as a naughty librarian, and it’s not even Halloween yet. Very nice.
October 19th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Pontius Pilate works for the Onion?
October 19th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
The redzone channel is better than the armfat of Drew’s sexy friday wonder woman. I guess a crease is a crease
October 19th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Dave, the guys at Awful Announcing would like your opinion on Ms. C. Thompson.
October 19th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
God I hope the Cowboys lose to the Rams. The Double J post will be magical.
October 19th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
So what’s a Colts fan doing parked there? In a Lexus. Colts fans can’t afford Lexuses (Lexes?).
October 19th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Lovin’ this Cowboys-Rams game so far…
I’m not even gonna try to translate Mewelde Moore into Hines Ward engrish.
October 19th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
I’m flipping through the games and I’ve already seen a couple bullshit defensive pass interference calls. My team has been the happy beneficiary of such calls the last two weeks, but seriously, this is too much. If a DB so much as looks at a streaking receiver crooked, that’s a flag, about 40 yards and a probable score. Troy Palumalu is definitely on to something.
October 19th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Is this bizarro world? Sam Rosen and Tim Ryan keep saying that above his shoulders, Orton has made all the right decisions. What does that even mean?
And now they just said he’s a got a cannon arm? God, you just know Kornheiser is gonna start comparing KYLE ORTON to Favrarro. Guhhh
October 19th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Purple Jesus must have really pissed off his Father cuz God just hates the Vikes.
October 19th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
God also hates Vikings fans.
October 19th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Damn does panthers cheerleader on Deadspin have a juicy ass. WOW
October 19th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Joe Don Baker has risen from the dead and stolen some kid’s toy Bills helmet?
October 19th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Did anyone catch the quick shot of Marmalard looking like Sloth from the Goonies during the Fox halftime highlights? It was just begging for a screen capture.
October 19th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
btw, fuck Frank TV
I hope that fucking ad will come done once that abortion of a premiere happens.
October 19th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Even Frank Caliendo is sick of Frank Caliendo.
October 19th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Fuckit! Fox needs to switch to another game, the Cowboys are submitting to being assraped by the Sheep.
October 19th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Rams 31, Cowboys 7
I can hear it now…..
“SHUTUP SHUTUP SHUTUP! Duck-bill Lard-assa-puss!”
October 19th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Anyone seen Drew? Maybe take away all his pointy things?
October 19th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Otto – I am really sorry. If it’s any consolation I played high school football with Ingle Martin, he’s not that bad…
October 19th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Anyone going to Saw V this friday…. besides me of course?
October 19th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Boy, if you thought Wade and Jerry was good last week…
October 19th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
This Bears offensive explosion is totally sustainable Chicago fans! Premature excitement and bold predictions for the rest of the season are totally warranted now!!!!
October 19th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Never seen any of the Saw movies, and don’t plan on starting with Saw 5. Torture porn isn’t my thing.
October 19th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
So FOX here just took the Cowboys/Rams off and put the 49ers/Jints game on. This is good news.
/Double J enters private Jet
//pushes stewardess head toward crotch
October 19th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
I’d fill up that Drinkability chick…
October 19th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Also I may have figured out part of the Chief’s problem – beside the obvious paper thin defensive and offensive line – They play Coldplay before a kick off? Who the fuck plays Coldplay before a kickoff?
October 19th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Bald judas thinks the vikes D will stop the bears now? Really??? has he looked at the 48 points on the scoreboard?
October 19th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
@ chris-bessmervin
Coldplay right before a kickoff? Seriously? Really? I’m depressed about my Vikings, but now I know things can be worse. If Gwyneth Paltrow digs on your team’s fight song, you’ve got trouble.
October 19th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
well… color me corrected
October 19th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Wade looks like suicide watch is coming…ESPNEWS. Says he’s the head coach. How long does that last?
October 19th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
@DavidtheUnderpantsGnome:
Is this bizarro world? Sam Rosen and Tim Ryan keep saying that above his shoulders, Orton has made all the right decisions. What does that even mean?
Respect the Neckbeard! The Neckbeard knows all.
(Expect not to squib kick when your opponent has :11 left).
October 19th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
i too approve of the american psycho reference
October 20th, 2008 at 12:49 am
ape: unscrew/break the lights in the hallway, douse the offending wreath with a proper accelerant, ignite, and repair to your lair to commemorate the event with an appropriately celebratory beverage. might want to update your renters’ coverage before you get too far into the festivities, though. firemen might be some americans’ heroes, but they’re still union labor. goddam socialists.