Maybe I’ll fit in a visit to San Diego while I’m in the neighborhood.

I’m in a bit of a hurry this morning because as you’re reading this I’m cramming into some piece of shit plane surrounded by assholes with some hellish strain of the flu that will keep me from enjoying Mastro’s. I’m heading out for a few days of meetings and general spa-ing in Scottsdale after which I head to LA for a few days. Fucking LA. Usually when I go there I immediately begin to suffer from Alvy Singer syndrome. But I have to go there, because that’s where my brother lives, along with plenty of other family and friends. I’m operating under the assumption that they all moved out there to piss me off. Seriously, fuck that place.

Except for Applepan. Applepan makes it all worthwhile.

Oh and the shoe stores!

Oh and the crazy hot bitches I get to stare at while the woman looks on in appreciation of my fine taste!

Hmmm. If I get to meet Sarah Silverman I might just have to cancel my plans to blow everything between Pasadena and Long Beach into the Pacific.

Anyway, ON TO THE PICKS!

This week I’m featuring six single games, with $50 laid out across the board. With any luck, there will be enough there for Sunday and Monday night bets. Ah crap, I forgot to save money to bet on a Pavlik decision. Don’t make the same mistake.

Tennessee -7.5 at Kansas City
Did you get money in on the Titans before Larry Johnson was ruled out and the line spiked? I did, but that’s what happens when you roll with the Big G (Him, not him). Even if Fatty’s fingers aren’t healed up, Tennessee should stomp the shit out of KC. In the figurative sense of course.

Washington -7 vs. Cleveland
The Redskins finally botched things last week, much to my personal chagrin, but this week they should be ready to lay a big number. And if not, Jim Zorn will skin Romeo Crennel and turn him into a set of pillowcases. No Zorn! He’s not dead, he’s just sleeping!

New York Jets -3 at Oakland
The Jets have shown the ability to cover against inferior teams (Cinci, Arizona, and Miami), and they don’t get any further from superiority than the Al Davis commitment to embarrassment.

Chicago Bears -3 vs. Minnesota
The Vikings are currently stuck in a purgatory like state somewhere between “suck” and “blow” while the Bears have remained pretty solid against the spread.

Cincinnati +10 vs. Pittsburgh
Hey Steelers, feed the ball to Mewelde Moore. Over and over. No, don’t stop. Give it to him again. No need to put the ball in the air, Ben. Just take it easy big fella, no need to exert yourself this week. Now Cinci, for the love of all that’s holy, put the ball in Chad’s hands. He’s ready to go, and he’s going to fucking explode like Chris Henry inside of a prom queen finalist.

San Diego EVEN at Buffalo
I’ve been told that Marshawn Lynch is some of machine, but I don’t believe in the Bills enough, even if Trent Edwards has been de-concussed.

Enjoy the games, I’m just hoping to get away from craptastic meeting in time to see the late games at 1 pm. Yep, now I remember that thing I hated about living in Arizona, (along with the heat, the sand, and the general feeling of trashiness that hovers over the much of the state like the smog in LA).

I’ll be back next week.