Two of the receivers most given to spouting the utmost in dipshittery the past week face off in what no doubt will be a lop-sided Cowboys win. But will any ground be gained in the eternal struggle for bragging rights in receiveral lunacy? Probably not. But it’ll be quite the show. So, WHO YA GOT?

Contestants

Chad Javon Ocho Cinco_____________Terrell Eldorado Owens

What His Team Needs More Of, According to Him

Drugs, Arrests____________________T.O.

Wants to Kiss

Star on Cowboys’ field_________________Starfish from Cowboys’ field goal team

At least knows better than to

Hate on the matron saint__________Cross Sheshawn instead of Sean Young

What’s Your Bean Situation?

You Got Some Beans On You?______________Or What’s Up?

Gets hung up on

Floating bacon____________Popcorn stuck in teeth; teeth stuck in Romo’s ass

Has Trouble Getting Rid Of

Chad Johnson Jerseys_______________iCatch shirts

Finishing Move

Pining for a career in Dallas__________Fucking Dallas’ title chances (T.O.)