Courtnee (center) Remembers Her First Time
Friday, October 31st, 2008
I was only fifteen when I first fell in love. His name was Danny and he lived three doors down the street from me. Danny would always walk me home from school. I knew that he liked me but I decided to be coy until he asked me out. When the homecoming dance came around, I really wanted him to ask me, but I knew other girls would be asking him, too. But then one day, on one of our walks home, he asked me, “Can I call you tonight? I need to talk to you about something.” That’s when I knew.
Our families met at Danny’s house for homecoming. I’d seen his mom lots of times, but this was the first time I’d met Danny’s dad. I remember he had big hands and he looked younger than his age. While my mom was showing off our family photo album, I took Danny’s dad in my mouth in the laundry room while I stuck a finger up his ass. He wouldn’t let me swallow his…you know…but that was probably a good idea. I can still remember the scent of his balls. My God, he was such a man. But then he slapped me in the face and yelled at me to go upstairs, which is where I probably should have been all along.
Danny and I had a great time at the dance. That helped me forget about that stupid thing I did beforehand. After the dance, we went to a party and Danny had too much to drink. I was only drinking Pepsi that night, so I took Danny’s keys and drove him home. His dad was waiting in the living room, and after he put Danny to bed, we 69′ed under the coffee table as quietly as we could. I remember seeing one of his wife’s slippers in the corner of the room while he was slurping out my little gash. What a lucky woman she was, I thought to myself.
We were tender and gentle for an hour, but then he suddenly threw me out. I cried all the way home. What had I done wrong? I sobbed quietly in the shower; I didn’t want my parents to hear me. How would I explain myself? But what I didn’t realize was that Danny woke up in the middle of the night and snuck out of his bedroom window to see me. I had just showered and picked up my Reader’s Digest when I heard him outside. He was the only person I wanted to see! I let him in through the front door and that’s when he kissed me. I took him upstairs and we held each other in bed. He kissed me some more, and that’s when we went all the way. It was so innocent. It was wonderful. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. It really was perfect.
The next weekend, I totally let his dad fuck me doggystyle in the garage. Hey, what was I supposed to do? That man was huge!
A stand-alone episode with Michael Tunison. Among the topics discussed are Mike’s upcoming book: Football Fan Manifesto, A distrust of head coaches with moustaches, racism, Hunting the homeless for sport, and the third season of Dexter. With plenty of awkward silence for everyone!
