‘Whachu Mean I’m Outta Timeouts?!’
09.15.08
[4th quarter, TV Timeout]
Romeo Crennel: HEY! Hey ref! I’mma call timeout after this play here! We gotta stop the clock!
Linesman: You’re outta timeouts, coach.
Romeo Crennel: Whachu mean I’m outta timeouts?! I only used three this half!
Linesman: Actually, coach, that’s all the timeouts your team is allotted for a given half.
Romeo Crennel: Well, you ain’t gonna screw me with these brand new rules tonight. I’mma stop the clock the next play.
Linesman: That’s great, coach, but that stoppage would be dependent upon the action on the field. There’s no way you can do that from here.
Romeo Crennel: Whachu mean I can’t stop the clock?! What if I wanna make a…you know…when I switch them guys around?
Linesman: A substitution?
Romeo Crennel: Yeah! You gotta stop the clock for that, right?
Linesman: No, coach, you substitute freely between plays, as you’ve been doing the entire game.
Romeo Crennel: Okay, what if I line up all my players on the field so that their bodies spell out the words TIME OUT?
Linesman: I believe that’s physically impossible to do with 11 people, coach. And if it were, such an action would have no legal significance in the game of football.
Romeo Crennel: But what if I wanna put in a pinch-hitter?
Linesman: What?
Romeo Crennel: YOU HEARD ME FOOL! What if I want to put in a pinch-hitter?!
Linesman: Coach, you…you just can’t.
Romeo Crennel: What if I want to make a pit stop for fresh tires?
Linesman: …Fresh tires? On what?
Romeo Crennel: AIN’T NO CONCERN OF YOURS, WHITE BREAD! You stop the clock for fresh tires, right?
Linesman: No.
Romeo Crennel: Penalty shots?
Linesman: No.
Romeo Crennel: Pitching changes?
Linesman: No.
Romeo Crennel: Running the Zamboni?
Linesman: No.
Romeo Crennel: Side outs?
Linesman: No.
Romeo Crennel: Tea interval?
Linesman: God, no.
Romeo Crennel: Then what the fuck, man? What am I supposed to do?
[TV timeout ends]
Linesman: Good luck, coach. [runs off]
Romeo Crennel: Man, that guy just really hates me. [looks toward team] Let’s go fellas, we can do this!
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Romeo definitely blew it last night, and I hate to make this comment because I love KSK… but… Oops! You’re racist! I mean, not really — but this was pretty lazy satire. You just gave him a bunch of black stereotype dialect. Then the commenters followed suit. Lame.
America deserves better.
“Then what the fuck, man? What am I supposed to do?”
I know! Im’ma call Herm!
@ Marlowespade
Seconded.
/picturing Amos and Andy skits with those two…
/shits pants
Is it me or does Romeo Crennel look exactly like a black Andy Reid? Is it too early to start referring to him as “Amos Reid”?
Bernie Mac’s in da house!
Mr. T pities Romeo Crennel.
I think it’s time to get rid of Romeo and get this team a real coach
AIN’T NO CONCERN OF YOURS, WHITE BREAD
I’ll be trying this out on random white people today in the office. Thanks for that Punte.
tea interval?
“but that stoppage would be dependent upon the action on the field.”
Based upon the action on the field, the stoppage should have occured right after the opening kick off.
Time out for Break Cake!
You missed the part where the 2002 Patriot Stalker rolls up on that ham-hock of a leg of his, thus tearing his ACL and MCL
That outfit that he’s wearing resembles my deposit in the hopper this morning.
me got a good brain. type good too.
i’m thought crennel was going to peel his face away, revealing really tyra banks in a fat suit, in her ongoing series showing how the public discriminates against fat people.
I get the feeling that Crennel’s house is just a movie backdrop.
/probably referring to the wrong character
“I Pity The Fool” — Romeo Crennel IS Mr. T!
the only thing crennel burns through more quickly than timeouts is adult-sized diapers.
With the emergence of Zorn and Crennel as the men to beat in the “Worst Clock Management” category, Andy Reid’s going to have to work extra hard to piss away scoring opportunities at the end of a half in order to retain his title.
he should have eaten a twix
In the perfect world, Romeo is fired at the end of this year and hire Dave Wannstedt.
I hate the Browns
You know what would be awesome? Life timeouts. When shit starts to get too intense, you call a timeout. People jumping your shit at work? Timeout. Wife nagging you? Definitely timeout. Cop pulls you over? Well, you get the idea.
I want to see a debate on health care between Romeo Crennell and Chad Johnson
Romeo Crennell thinks Herm Edwards is one fine coach.
I didn’t know Romeo Crenel talked like Kingfish on the Amos and Andy show.
i believe at one point he called in a Wendy’s order to Derek Anderson instead of the play
/Triple stack on one, on one, break!
Time out for the tiny little tea leaf in tetley tea!
Time for Brady?
I agree with you, Romeo.
- C. Webber
So rarely is the essence of a man captured accurately in print…
I believe he was trying to argue that there was a Leg Before Wickett.
Somewhere in heaven Joe Gibbs nods approvingly.
spot on. unfotunately you’re spot on.
he took out K2 on 3rd down and put in a wicketkeeper at one point.