The Holy Day Has Arrived
It’s finally the first NFL Sunday of the year. I’d like to personally thank Tropical Storm Hanna for getting me out of a long-planned family trip to the beach. I really didn’t want to do that, and now I don’t have to! YEEEEAAARRRGGHHH!!!
Consider this your open thread to discuss the games, the pregame shows, fantasy advice, or picks for the day. Will Brett Favre look good with the Jets? Will the Patriots dominate as they did last regular season? Are open-ended questions like this gayer than an extra cock stapled to Alan Cumming’s forehead?
My lock of the week: Sambo over the Bitch.
Tags: do I start Horse Balls or MArmalard for my keeper league?, open threads, we wont play the rambos till we stop playin the sambos
September 7th, 2008 at 7:56 am
you gotta start the horseballs. roy williams is allergic to coverage.
September 7th, 2008 at 8:13 am
I’m confused. Shouldn’t Jesus be taking the handoff? And wearing a Vikes Jersey.
September 7th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Tsk tsk. A thinly veiled excuse to ask our readers fantasy football advice. At any rate, if you pick the right one, he’ll probably give you a copy of his book.
September 7th, 2008 at 8:44 am
You’re gonna go with H-Balls throwing against the Cowboys D? Pac-Man gon’ pound dat azz.
September 7th, 2008 at 9:01 am
You gotta start Horseballs and his 270 yards, 2TD
September 7th, 2008 at 9:22 am
I say Marmalard. Although, the fact that you have Marmalard and Horseballs on one team is pretty funny.
September 7th, 2008 at 10:16 am
Horse balls. If I’ve learned anything from videos on the internet…
September 7th, 2008 at 10:16 am
Devin Hester, Kevin Jones, or Marvin Harrison – which one should I start in my flex spot, and why. Go!
September 7th, 2008 at 10:17 am
The Pirates beat someone last night? I thought the bullpen melted down… oh, snap, that was college football? Who gives a crap about that shiz? So quick question: is Santonio Holmes a great sleeper receiver or the greatest sleeper received in professional football?
September 7th, 2008 at 10:27 am
Jesus doesn’t have to wear a helmet because he was grandfathered in under the league’s helmet rules.
September 7th, 2008 at 11:02 am
OK quick Lee Evans, yes i read the post or Patrick Crayton??? And i hope the right answer is HorseBalls cause that is who i am starting.
September 7th, 2008 at 11:03 am
I’m tempted to say Horseballs, just because I want Marmalard to blow out his knee in the first quarter.
/Go Panthers!
September 7th, 2008 at 11:20 am
I will take Chad Ocho Cinco to provide a big day.. Que Paso ese?
September 7th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Ya betta ask somebodaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy how you got stuck with two shitty QBs.
I’d go Horseballs, but that’s probably my hope that he destroys Dallas talking. Actually, it’s definitely that.
September 7th, 2008 at 11:30 am
“Sambo over the bitch”
Damn, I was hoping that link was going to be about the Russian martial art, not a completely un-surprising quote from the American Nazi Party’s Chairwoman.
Oh, and don’t start football Jesus- he’s got suspect hands and some foot injuries.
September 7th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Hey, guys, I’m at the local McSportsbar, and I’ve got a Cover It Live session open at Dave’s Football Blog. Stop by and say hey.
September 7th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Was it a good move to pick up Devin Hester? He won’t start this week, but will I reap any sort of benefits from his services?
September 7th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Holy shit. Drew’s gonna have to pay out his Brady Bounty.
September 7th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Bernard Pollard would be advised to never, ever visit the greater Boston area the rest of his life. Oh, and for what he did to Brady, I doubt there is any place he can hide from Tommy
September 7th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Tawwmy is NOT happy.
September 7th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
I don’t think I have ever wanted someone to be injured as much as I have wanted Tom Brady to be injured. I think I’m going to cry. Tomorrow at school is gonna be almost as sweet as the day after the Super Bowl.
September 7th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
My brother said after Brady went down, everyone at the bar cheered. So there’s hope for humanity yet…
September 7th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Hines Wald has more than 100 yards in the first quarter.
Take that, tarr leceivel!
September 7th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
tom brady just wanted to beat peyton manning in knee injuries.
September 7th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Brady hurt his knee a full 15 minutes ago and no article?
You guys are losing your touch!
(It was no Lincoln Navigator pinning him to an NYC store front, but it will do…it will do)
September 7th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
today really should be a holiday. first nfl sunday, tom brady gets his shit ruined.
it’s like finding extra presents at christmas.
September 7th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Anyone have Gisele’s number?
September 7th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Matt Ryan’s coming out party!!
September 7th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Ha. Funny the first time in years Tom Brady wasn’t on the injury report and he gets injured. Fucking Pats
September 7th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Steelers are currently beating the Texans 28-3. Someone needs to buy Stephanie Stradley a very stiff drink.
September 7th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
something is very wrong: atlanta is winning, and buffalo is shellacking the seahawks.
hell… even baltimore is winning.
September 7th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Favre almost Favred when he threw up that lame duck of a TD pass.
As a GB fan, I look forward to the NY press ripping him a new one when that shit doesn’t work an costs the Jets wins.
Favre will win you 3 or 4 more games than you otherwise would have, but he’ll also lose you a few that should’ve been won.
September 7th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Hell yeah Baltimore is winning!
/worked at the Raven’s Training Camp, feels irrational pride in the team
September 7th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Fuck joe Buck’s forehead. Go cowboys.
September 7th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Marmalard threw a pass that didn’t hang in the air for 30 seconds. It’s gotta be the roids…or the special sauce.
September 7th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Oh yeah and the Browns are not covering…
September 7th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Woo hoo, Brady goes down…too bad for the guy, but that locked up my head to head fantasy win.
September 7th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Wanted:
Lions D-line and Linebacking core!!!
September 7th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!! PANTHERS WIN!!!! PANTHERS WIN ON LAST PLAY OF GAME!!!! DELHOMME TO ROSARIO!!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!! PANTHERS 26, CHARGERS 24!!!! FUCK YOU, MARMALARD!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 7th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Fuck that was awesome
September 7th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
NFL has gone to shit.
An actress fucked by Colin Ferrell catches a game winning touchdown.
Orton leads the Bears like he’s Joe Montana.
Flaco is 1-0.
I could go on and on with how fucked up this day was, but I won’t. Feel free to add to this bizarro list.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:50 am
Orton’s career W/L record (13-6!) is proof that “with you” does not = “because of you “.
April 16th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Please, can you PM me and tell me few more thinks about this, I am really fan of your blog…