This is Jenny, she’ll be handling things from here.

Dear Coach Zorn,

We know that it was just one game, but you just aren’t bringing the sexy. Do you see Jenny up there? She’s one of our amazing cheerleaders, and she’ll be running the offense from now on. Of course you’re still welcome to stick around and impart your wisdom on the quarterbacks, but right now we really need a sexier option at the helm. That game you called last night? That was about as sexy as a homeless guy bathing himself on the sidewalk. Do we know whether or not Jenny actually knows anything about football? Absolutely not, but for whatever reason we have an incredible amount of faith in her abilities, whatever those might be.

Just in case Jenny struggles to call plays for Jason Campbell we’ve set her up with the sexiest group of assistant coaches the league has ever seen (take that, mid-nineties Packers!). Meet Jenny’s support staff after the jump, and don’t forget to bring your support staff if you know what I mean. I mean your cock.


This is the team’s top standout, Michelle. She brings plenty of experience to the table…with her tits.


This is Eileen, and the players would sooner rip off their own testicles than let her down.


This is Cristina Kristin the chick with the nice ass. Her role is self-explanatory.


This is Nicole, and she is not to be allowed anywhere near Chris Cooley.

So we hope we can still be friends and everything.

Sincerely,
Reactionary Redskins Fans For Winning

P.S. It gets quite a bit colder here in the winter than it does in Seattle, so we got you a little present to keep you warm while you’re watching the ladies run your team.

I call it the Cock Cozy.

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Have a super Sexy Friday, everyone!