Sexy Friday Cheers Up the Redskins Fans (and everyone else)
This is Jenny, she’ll be handling things from here.
Dear Coach Zorn,
We know that it was just one game, but you just aren’t bringing the sexy. Do you see Jenny up there? She’s one of our amazing cheerleaders, and she’ll be running the offense from now on. Of course you’re still welcome to stick around and impart your wisdom on the quarterbacks, but right now we really need a sexier option at the helm. That game you called last night? That was about as sexy as a homeless guy bathing himself on the sidewalk. Do we know whether or not Jenny actually knows anything about football? Absolutely not, but for whatever reason we have an incredible amount of faith in her abilities, whatever those might be.
Just in case Jenny struggles to call plays for Jason Campbell we’ve set her up with the sexiest group of assistant coaches the league has ever seen (take that, mid-nineties Packers!). Meet Jenny’s support staff after the jump, and don’t forget to bring your support staff if you know what I mean. I mean your cock.
This is the team’s top standout, Michelle. She brings plenty of experience to the table…with her tits.
This is Eileen, and the players would sooner rip off their own testicles than let her down.
This is Cristina Kristin the chick with the nice ass. Her role is self-explanatory.
This is Nicole, and she is not to be allowed anywhere near Chris Cooley.
So we hope we can still be friends and everything.
Sincerely,
Reactionary Redskins Fans For Winning
P.S. It gets quite a bit colder here in the winter than it does in Seattle, so we got you a little present to keep you warm while you’re watching the ladies run your team.
I call it the Cock Cozy.
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Have a super Sexy Friday, everyone!
Tags: Cock Cozy, Friday Cheerleader Post, Homerism, sexy friday, Unsilent Majority, Washington Redskins
September 5th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
No way am I clicking that last link.
September 5th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
clicked it, liked it, bought it
September 5th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Yikes!
September 5th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
By my calculations the shaft section is only 6 inches long. Not sufficient. Plus, my balls hang like an old man’s gullet. I need more room than that in the sacular region (not to be confused with secular).
September 5th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
It’s knit, so I assume it stretches a certain amount.
September 5th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Why do they always show the African-American girls’ ass? Maxim is definitely racist.
September 5th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Judging by how he coached his team last night, I’m doubting that Li’l Zorn would even make it out of the white part of the cozy.
September 5th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Does that protect against STD’s?
September 5th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Don’t worry Pimplin’, they have more pictures of sexy African-Americans that don’t focus on the ass. Unfortunately they’re not wearing a Redskins bikini.
September 5th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
@Rocco – No. But the Arizona Cardinals’ one comes WITH STD’s.
/I caved in and clicked
September 5th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
That’s not a real football!
September 5th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Is it just my cock that is completely indifferent to Jenny’s nippleless, rock hard breasts? I admire her fashion sense, but she does nothing for me.
September 5th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Worst c-section scar ever.
September 5th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Why do they always show the African-American girls’ ass?
Beacuse that the way we like it. Oh and the Redskins cheerleaders are bringin’ it this year. Definitely Top 5 material based on those pics.
September 5th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes.
September 5th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
I’d like to engage in sexual intercourse with the African-American cheerleader with the fine ass. Does that make me racist? I forget.
September 5th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
I’m in total agreement with Rocco. Though it would be fun to slap the chick with the ass… um on the ass.
Wait – are we sure Osi hasn’t had that yet?
September 5th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Morons.
September 5th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes
YOU FLIGGIN LACIST!!!!
September 5th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Until they’re willing to “perform” like the Panthers cheerleaders, no one is taking their title as top NFL cheerleaders.
I figured you’d be tired of everyone jamming their cocks into everything Redskin after last nights game? You can spend hours in the shower trying to wash off that kind of shame. You’ll never get clean. Never!
September 5th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
@289
maybe the doctor was ray finkle.
September 5th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
My testicles have more attractive cleavage than the top girl.
September 5th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
My testicles have more attractive cleavage than the top girl.
Are your testicles placed four inches apart, too?
Wait, wait. Don’t answer that.
September 5th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
@ Ottoman
I’m a proud Zorn. If Uncle Jimmy’s (actually he’s like a second or third cousin) wang is anything like the rest of the Zorn Wangs, his tip + 2 inches of shaft would be feelin a little breeze pokin out the top of that little cozy.
September 5th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
khristena… never seen it spelled like that before, must be a black thing
September 5th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Big Zorn, is the penis size in the Zorn family genetically tied to an inability to implement the forward pass?
September 5th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
@ claude balls
Dude, if she so much as brushed of you you’d cum, she’s a fucking Redskins cheerleader.
September 5th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Here’s the rest of Jenny…
http://www.redskins.com/gen/cheerleaders/Jenny.jsp
September 5th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
Ahhh, whatever…he implemented enough forward passes in 1976. Great coach, probably not. Great Cack, absolutely.
September 5th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
thank you Maj, i’ve been convinced.
September 6th, 2008 at 4:47 am
Hey fuckos. I haven’t been here in 6 months. You don’t know me and I don’t know you, but I used to read everyday. Football’s back on, I’m reading KSK again. Did I miss anything? Did Drew eat a big wheel of cheese and shit in a sombrero or anything like that? What’s going on?
September 6th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
That was a weekly feature, except a midget was wearing the sombrero.