Here are some things that pissed me off this week:

- When someone’s dog is barking, and the owner doesn’t try to make it stop.

- When I’m driving in the center lane of a highway, and people pass on the right even though the left lane is clear.  Fuck you.

- Sarah Palin’s voice. Jesus Christ. Every time I hear her stupid cunty accent I want to cave in a retarded baby’s head with a brick.

- Hearing someone tell a story the second time.

- Sometimes I’ll walk my dog, and some bitchy mommy will pull her two-year-old back and be like, “Connor! Watch out, it’s a dog!” Yeah, a domesticated dog that’s better behaved than your little fuck trophy. Who’s destined to become gay, by the way.

- T.J. Houshmandzadeh. What gives you the right to have a monster day when you’re sitting on my bench? Thanks a lot, asshole.

- Contracts. Why do I have to print something out and fax it? Do you have any idea how hard that is for someone who works from home? You think they worried about this stuff in the Middle Ages? No. People just PayPal’d each other for whatever services were rendered. Like, chain mail repair and wench rental and stuff.

- Motorcycles. Do you ride a motorcycle? Guess what, you’re an asshole.

- New York City airports. You know, in San Diego, the airport is right next to downtown, on a piece of prime real estate right on the water. It’s probably a huge loss to the city in terms of potential revenue… and it is AWESOME. You can be anywhere in the city and get to the airport in, like, five minutes.  JFK and LaGuardia and Newark can all go get fucked.  I say pave Central Park and make it Ufford International.  Brilliant idea, or brilliantest idea?

Anyhoo, this week’s Meast is Ronnie Brown. 117 yards and five touchdowns to end the Patriots’ 21-game regular season winning streak with an embarrassing blowout in Foxborough?   Yep, that’ll do.