Rugged Doe-Eyed Peach-Fuzzed Elisha vs. The Zorn Star. WHO YA GOT?
Eli Manning_________________________________Jim Zorn
Nickname
“Easy”______________________________________”Who?”
Hobbies
Antiquing, Karaoke, Squash_____________DJing, whitewater kayaking, zamboni driving, pottery making, mountain climbing
Led The NFL In Interceptions
Last year (tie)________________________________1976
Will Never Live Up To
Nobody! He’s the man now!_____Joe Gibbs, even the befuddled version who didn’t know what he was doing
Lucky To Be Rid Of
Jeremy Shockey______________Gregg Williams, Al Saunders
Destined To
Throw another 20 picks this year____________Start Colt Brennan under duress of idiot ‘Skins fans
Finishing Move
Getting back on Giants’ fans badside by Week 6___________Being a stopgap until they hire a real coach
Tags: children of the zorn, evil eli, IT'S BACK!, who ya got?, xmas ape
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September 4th, 2008 at 8:30 am
true story — I live in the country in Central VA — after the ‘Skins won their first pre-season game, I was in a small grocery store and skins fans were talking like this was the start of a superbowl run and that colt brennan was the bastard offspring of a Brady / Manning unholy union. I have live here 17yrs and this is not an isolated instance. After every ’skins win, the fans will start talking about running the table throught the playoffs. This is a special kind of Douchebaggery in NFL fandom.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:55 am
Ape, I trust that in future Redskins posts you won’t miss an opportunity to call the Dead Tree Crew a bunch of jizzgobblers.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:11 am
I’m gonna take the Giants, just because they’ve gotta be at least a little better than the Redskins… right? Does anyone else feel like this game is going to be one of the worst opening games ever? I mean, the Giants defense that basically got them a Super Bowl win is now completely gone. And the Redskins… well, it’s the Redskins. I just hope I don’t feel like I’m watching Pee-Wee football come halftime.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:35 am
Start Colt Brennan!
September 4th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Damn, that Zorn is versatile. The pleats say “Let’s keep it casual”, but the cargo pockets say “I’m ready for battle!”
September 4th, 2008 at 9:45 am
No way Eli’s parents let him listen to that violent rap music
September 4th, 2008 at 9:45 am
I’ll take the oops, I pooped my pants face over the obstructed bowel face.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:52 am
I’d take Zorn over an Elisha and Pey-Pey tag team
PS- Colt Brennannnnnnnn!!!11!!11!111111!!!!!
September 4th, 2008 at 10:07 am
ZOMG COLT BRENNAN IS TEH FUTURE OF TEH REDSKINS
…seriously, though, like Jason Campbell is a legitimate plan for longevity? Put that sumbitch from Hawai’i in and let him go nuts.
Oh, and like, yay for this post :)
September 4th, 2008 at 10:08 am
Fuck you, little smiley face. Get out of my shit.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Eli and the Midgets over Zorny and the Foreskins by a facial hair.
Also,
Fist of the North Star >>> The Zorn Star
September 4th, 2008 at 10:20 am
Start Colt Brennan under duress of idiot ‘Skins fans
As a Redskins fan this hurts, but only because it’s the truth. Someone needs to play highlights of Colt’s game against Georgia last year on the Jumbotron whenever fans start booing Campbell.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:46 am
There were highlights ? (Lives in Jawja, but not a Bulldog fan, just subjected to their mania on a daily basis)
September 4th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Gmen all the way. Is this even a question? Repeat Super Bowl Champs for sure.
September 4th, 2008 at 11:51 am
are we talking football game or licking oreo cream?
September 4th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
@85: Ixnay on the Ead-day Ee-tray Eww-cray. Attention whores should not be encouraged nor fed.
September 4th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
I’m taking the Giants, if only because the ‘Skins got run over 47-3 by Carolina
/that was a fucking sweet game
//WELCOME BACK, NFL
September 4th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
How is squash not one of Eli’s hobbies?!?
September 4th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Good call. It’s added.
September 4th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Yeah, I got the ‘Skins but I’m a ‘Skins fan and have little sense of impartiality.
Forget that though, the main question we should be asking is how did Elisha grow that much facial hair?
Somewhere a bear is missing a fur patch.