Oh, hello. I understand your fantasy team needs to get f–ked?
Welp, it won’t be easy to score negative points, but I’ll see what I can do.
/prays
/prepares to throw into coverage
/fumbles
Tags: captain caveman, fantasy football
Welp, it won’t be easy to score negative points, but I’ll see what I can do.
September 28th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
I think he gets paid by the amount of rosaries he does after every turnover.
September 28th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
The NFL already committed to fuck everyone’s fantasy teams this week by putting six goddamn teams on a bye — including the Pats, Colts, and (sigh) Superbowl winners. THAT’LL LEARN YOU TO TRY AND ENJOY FOOTBALL IN WAYS OTHER THAN THOSE EXPLICITLY PRESCRIBED BY THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, FUCKOS.
September 28th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
My fantasy day couldn’t be any better. The dude I’m playing started Kurt & Kitna today.
September 28th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Also, this photo absolutely needs to be captioned with, “Are you there, God? It’s me, Kurt.”
September 28th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Kurt Warner spent his NFL Europe days in Amsterdam. He said that every day on his way to church, he had to walk by the hash bars, brothels and casinos but he was never tempted to try them. I don’t trust Warner- everybody knows the best QBs are affiliated with Satan.
September 28th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
GAHHH STOP LETTING EDGERRIN SCORE RUSHING TOUCHDOWNS!!
September 28th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
can we get a photo of goddam Laverneus Coles next to this fucker? suck a bowl of dicks, Laverneus
/cut him last week
September 28th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
benched Warner this week, though :-)
September 28th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
yeah foxxy well I CUT COLES THIS FUCKING MORNING because some douche on yahoo said to pick up antonio bryant
/tearing Internet from the wall
September 28th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Cards are going to come back and cover in this game.
September 28th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
“everybody knows the best coaches are affiliated with Satan”
fixed.
/Mike Shanahan
September 28th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Fuck Braylon Edwards with a rusty stop sign.
September 28th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
F that, I’ve even managed to forgive Braylon for going to Michigan.
September 28th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Don’t you talk that way about Andy Behrens! It’s not HIS fault your team sucks.
Yes, I have a passionate love-from-afar crush on Andy Behrens.
September 28th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Millhouse,
join me in a interweb-a-shot (Jamison’s here) in 5, 4, 3 . . . condolences
on that Warner accomplishment? i started J.T. of the family O’Sullivan. that interception just now was Grossmanian in its glory
September 28th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Laverneus,
Drew Brees would like to share your bowl of dicks. pass it down. FUCK
September 28th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Fuck you and your god fearing ways Kurt. Peyton had a bye this week so I thought to myself, Hey, Warner’s been pretty money this season (actually better than PeyPey). I won’t miss a beat….I proceed to wake up to this travesty of a performance.
September 28th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Coles and Jennings helping me kick some mighty FFB ass today.
Didn’t you know God doesn’t give a crap about Warner? I mean he’s married to a dude for crissakes. And I’ve stopped listening to those fuckers at Yahoo. They can take a leap into a pit of samurai swords for all I care.
September 28th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
well, that was a nice over .500 week, Niners. at least you bought me dinner first this time.
September 28th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
You seriously have Kurt on your team?
Epic fail.
September 28th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
WARNER TO BOLDIN – 14 POINT SWING – THE LORD TAKETH AWAY AND THEN THE LORD GIVETH!
/or something like that
September 28th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Kurt needs to talk to Paula Polestar about the right way to pray.
September 28th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Warner is up to 22 points with time still on the clock.
/passes the bowl of dicks ’round the KSK commenters
September 28th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Now he’s got 400+ yards and 2 TDs, all of it in garbage time. This is why I hate fantasy anything.
Ha. He just fumbled again. 4 lost fumbles. Good God. Or should I say, bad God?
September 28th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Well, that fumble was a fitting finish, but at the end of the day, it wasn’t too bad for K-Dub. Let’s hear it for the power of halftime prayer!
September 28th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Well, I’m not gonna complain about Jet Favre’s fantasy output this week. Too bad he’s on my team that’s in last place.
September 28th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Boldin just got carted off on a stretcher. Looked pretty bad. Hope he’s okay.
September 28th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
a guy who has 6 turnovers should not be allowed to put up a positive point total… i fucking hate this game…
September 28th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
At least Arizona’s defense pulled a -10 in my league.
September 28th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Every player on my opponent’s team has at least one TD this week.
Apart from Larry Fitzgerald and the kicker.
And Donovan McNabb…
…Oh, wait.
September 28th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Guess who had Favre as his weekly bench warmer and didn’t start him….
September 28th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Warner ended up with 19.6 points for the guy I am playing this week, despite his three fumbles and three interceptions. Not bad for fantasy purposes.
September 29th, 2008 at 12:00 am
He is the Anti-Christ
September 29th, 2008 at 12:12 am
Marion Barber, MoJo Drew, and Selvin Young decided to combine for 121 yards and no TDs for me. I lost to a guy that doesn’t even pay attention to his team and had 3 less slots due to the bye week.
September 29th, 2008 at 8:56 am
@smurphette: I think you’ll have to clear that with Michael Phelps first.
September 29th, 2008 at 9:02 am
My QBs consistently underperform so much that I think I need to get in or start a league that awards points for the QB succesfully taking snaps that’s the only way I could get more than 4 points from a QB….SERIOUSLY!!
September 29th, 2008 at 9:03 am
I need the Shitsburgh defense to come up with 187 points to slavage a win against some whore that has Favre and coles. Is that possible?
\Only if Boller starts.
September 29th, 2008 at 11:09 am
I loved the bye’s, two of my starting three wides were on byes so I got to start shitty Laveranues Coles. What a break, I wound up with 118 in a week I’d have taken 75. Yay for 6 team byes!
September 29th, 2008 at 11:11 am
To OD, there’s a loser in my league that’s 3-1 now and hasn’t made a transaction or checked his team once.
September 29th, 2008 at 11:41 am
@Seahawk Blue Pride: Maybe some people like the team they drafted and don’t need to make any changes yet.
September 29th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Here I thought that I was the one with the safer, God-fearing QB this week as I trotted out Warner to my opponent’s Favraro.
Guy plays in 261 games and the one game my opponent starts him he does something he’s never done before. It’s like Favraro’s Dad died again…
/show self to hell