Meeting of the Mossbacks: Gunslinger vs. Warner. WHO YA GOT?

Once teammates eons ago, Brett Favre and Kurt Warner will face off Sunday in what some wags are dubbing the Geriatric Bowl. Hey, way to be ageist, guys. Old people can do stuff. For instance, they’re bankrupting the country with Social Security! And they’re good at Wii Fit! Which superannuated quarterback can strike a blow for seniors’ rights? WHO YA GOT?

Contestants

Brett Favre___________________Kurt Warner

Age

38___________________37

Older Than

Dirt_______________The Hills (actual hills, not the show)

What do you, uh, people like?

How do they stay young?

The dreadmill______________praying to fetus Jesus

Chant

Go, Pack, Go J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS____________Gregorian

Remembers a time when

Women knew their place__________Christians could crusade with impunity

Finishing move

Re-retiring__________________Re-rapturing

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28 Responses to “Meeting of the Mossbacks: Gunslinger vs. Warner. WHO YA GOT?”

  1. Skye Says:

    I want Favre to feel the pain in every game this year. So I got a crusading Warner taking it to those NewYork City heathens.

  2. naynoe Says:

    Wife?
    Shut the fuck up_______________Shut the fuck up

  3. Daydream Billiever Says:

    for Warner’s wife, should that be Shut the fuck up, sir!

  4. senor mullet Says:

    ape, it almost seems like you’re saying “going to hell” like it’s a bad thing

  5. Otto Man Says:

    This is an intriguing matchup.

    But I’m trying to decide between Sarah Palin and Miss Teen South Carolina.

    I swear, if you close your eyes, you can’t tell the difference.

  6. Merk Says:

    what the fuck is Hulu and why does it hate Canada?

  7. naynoe Says:

    Daydream Billiever Says
    “for Warner’s wife, should that be Shut the fuck up, sir!”

    Perfect. Except the “!” makes you sound like you’re not scared of her. Only address bigger nuts with the utmost respect. But yes. Perfect.

  8. Otto Man Says:

    “for Warner’s wife, should that be Shut the fuck up, sir!”

    I’m just happy that R. Lee Ermey finally found true love.

  9. DeepFriar Says:

    I’ll take Gozer the Gozarian’s husband over the Wrangler jeans guy, please.

  10. Upstate Underdog Says:

    I was hoping for Trent vs Trent: Who ya got?

    Ill take Warner because you can set your watch to his wife’s haircut.

    btw, Trent Green is also 37 years old

  11. Drave Says:

    When and where were Farve and Warner teammates?

  12. Former Horseballs Fan Says:

    You got Romo!

    /knew Favre vs. Old Kurt would lead off the day

    /hoping for one more Warner and Kitna post.

  13. Upstate Underdog Says:

    Drave, Warner was drafted by Packers in 1994 as a free agent.

  14. Bill Simmons Says:

    Warner is not above sweeping the leg. I’ll take him.

  15. mini dagger Says:

    the problem with going to hell is having to spend eternity with dane cook.

  16. 5823111 Says:

    Check out Peter in The Last Supper. Left hand on Mary Magdalene’s throat, right hand holding a knife. So Leonardo is telling us that Peter actually played in the NFL!

  17. Shane_Falco Says:

    Jesus Christ may not be able to hit a curveball, but he does know how to zone block.

    Ill take the Cardinals in this one. Madden curse takes hold, Favre shits in his wranglers before the game, ending his streak.

  18. Rocco Says:

    Sexy Friday turned into Geriatric Friday?

  19. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    +1 for the Maaaaaaaaaaaaatlock

  20. DeepFriar Says:

    Is Warner stiff-arming my Lord and personal savior in that pic?

  21. Boatdrinks Says:

    I now like Warner for the following two reasons:
    1) Mr. I am Important VERY BIG MAN on campus Leinert has to sit there and watch Warner get TD’s and fame, and hear that maybe he (Leinert) really isn’t a very good QB. YEA! That is good.
    2) Mr. I am Important VERY BIG MAN on campus Favaro was thrown to the curb because he is a douchebag and the Pack would rather take a chance with a man with hirsute issues and soon Favaro will be crying on TV in NYC and all the wolves in the media will rip him to shreds. YEA! That is good.
    Go Warner, your douchery is quite low in comparison! And really, we all will go to hell anyway, so really does it matter?

  22. jackin'4beats Says:

    Warner. The Jets can’t beat their way out of a wet paper bag.

  23. Animal Mother Says:

    Warner should thank Jesus everyday. It’s obvious he blocked Judas as he knifed thru the line for a sack. Too bad it ended his career. Way to take one for the team Jesus.

  24. Hawkins Says:

    I think Favre’s wife would be “I had cancer, shut the fuck up”

  25. Brett Says:

    Wife Used to Rock

    Cancer________________A Lesbian Mullet

  26. Daniel Snyder's Bongwater Says:

    Favre will know 535 razormonkey this time…lemme tellya, ulright!

  27. Kitsune Says:

    I’m disappointed in the lack of J-E-S-T! Jest! Jest! Jest! in the chant section.

  28. Gennifer With A G Says:

    Favre by the length of a rollator-walker. Even God thinks born-agains are full of it.

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