Once teammates eons ago, Brett Favre and Kurt Warner will face off Sunday in what some wags are dubbing the Geriatric Bowl. Hey, way to be ageist, guys. Old people can do stuff. For instance, they’re bankrupting the country with Social Security! And they’re good at Wii Fit! Which superannuated quarterback can strike a blow for seniors’ rights? WHO YA GOT?

Contestants

Brett Favre___________________Kurt Warner

Age

38___________________37

Older Than

Dirt_______________The Hills (actual hills, not the show)

What do you, uh, people like?

How do they stay young?

The dreadmill______________praying to fetus Jesus

Chant

Go, Pack, Go J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS____________Gregorian

Remembers a time when

Women knew their place__________Christians could crusade with impunity

Finishing move

Re-retiring__________________Re-rapturing