It’s German For “Bart Scott Can Eat a Dick”
The other linebacking blowhard for the Ravens, Bart Scott, let it be known last year after Bawlmer got crushed on Monday night in Heinz Field and he got put on his ass by everyone’s favorite smirretime happy leceivel Hines Ward that he would like to kill the Steeler. While the media is playing up Rashard Mendenhall sending a boastful text to his friend Ray Rice, they’re mostly giving Scott a pass. At least the hometown Templeton-employing newspaper bothered to press him on it, to which Scott replied that he needs drugs and professes a willingness to beat up his mom. Just like everyone else in Baltimore.
“What are you talking about?” Scott asked rhetorically. “I don’t have a rivalry with anybody. Just trying to get a football game and get a dub. Need a dub.”
In the Ravens’ last visit to Heinz Field, Ward decked free safety Ed Reed and Scott with crushing blocks. Scott admitted to threatening to “kill” Ward during the game and pledged to even the score. But Ward did not play in the season finale at M&T Bank Stadium.
A reporter then told Scott that Ward said he likes the Ravens linebacker. Scott returned the favor, saying, “I think he did some tremendous things. I was really impressed with what he did with bringing those kids over from Asia. I watched the special. I think that was heartfelt. Football is a totally different thing. Like I said, I don’t care if my mother was out there. I’d smack her around, too. That’s just football. It doesn’t matter. If she’s got a different jersey on, she’s got to get dealt with.”
There’s only one way to settle this, boys: Smirre-off!
Also, this was pretty hilarious.
Tags: hines wald is stirr me favolite steerel, Homerism, smirres, xmas ape
September 29th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
advantage Scott, by a raised pinkie
September 29th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Tonight: Big Ben meets the Ravens defense. HARF HARF HARF.
Seriously, if they can just keep Roethlisberger upright, I think the Steelers have a shot at the AFC title.
September 29th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Nobody evil ever spoke German.
September 29th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Fuck anything near the Beltway
September 29th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Fuck any grown man who does the chicken dance anywhere, let alone at a football game.
Matter of fact, fuck kids that do it, too.
September 29th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
HINES WINS – FINISH HIM!
SMIRETARITY!
September 29th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
How can you not like a guy who wants to pancake his mom?
September 29th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
@joevishunda
Fuck anything near an Eat ‘n Park.
September 29th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Shouldn’t that be Homelism? Just sayin’…
What are the odds that Bart Scott doesn’t have a great game because his head’ll be on a swiver rooking out for our favolite leceivel?
September 29th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
I’ll give you Ward knocking the fuck out of Scott as being hilarious, but the Reed thing was a helmet-to-helmet hit, I barely know shit about football and I still went “jesus fuck” when I saw it.
So yeah.
I do like Scott’s apparent matricidal tendencies.
September 29th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Do the Bart Man
September 29th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
@TF in Dundalk
True, but not near King’s; bitch.
/eats a slice of Vincent’s and pisses on a crab
September 29th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
‘…and trying to get a dub. Need a dub.’
Aren’t we all?
September 29th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
HI RAY WHAT’S WITH THE KNIFE? I THINK MY SPLEEN IN SPRAINERATED HARF HARF HARF
September 29th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
@Jack…excellent segue into Hines Wardspeak…we all were just reading along, then BOLM! It wlas rike Rines wlas in der rumb wilth uss.
September 29th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Hey, I have never been to Pittsburgh except to change planes. Why do they put fries on a sandwich?
September 29th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Because we’re drunks
September 29th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Ray-ray is a mad old dog — emphasis on old.
September 29th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
Excellent. Some of the world’s best discoveries happen to, by or for drunks. Like, 10 shots of tequila with no food leads to mayhem you don’t remember and people tell you about later.
September 29th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Wow, very original….KSK is getting played out.
/watch comment get deleted
September 29th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
It’s not homerism, because Ape isn’t from Pittsburgh.
That having been said, Bart Scott already curb-stomped Ben Roethlisberger, so Hines Ward should be ripe for a colonial-style radical spleenectomy.
/Go Ravens!
//Is from Bodymore
///REAL Homerism.
September 29th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
“you let a giant lion sleep ”
Excellent Bart
/drinks gallon of Iron
September 29th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
I love it when two trashy, redneck cities have sports rivalries.
September 29th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
@ gino
“Nobody evil ever spoke German.
Hitler?
September 29th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
@pain
It’s a Simpsons reference. That’s the joke. (Sigh)
September 29th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
Where you at Port Shitty?
/chugs pound of Isaly’s
September 30th, 2008 at 1:03 am
Hey Miles,
Here’s an idea for a shitty gimmick site: Has Joe Flacco Been Stripped For a Touchdown Yet?
HE HAS.
/it’s a winner, believe me
//eat my cock