In a World Where Nothing Is What It Seems…
One man will rise
“I hear Gates cleans his cooch with a lint roller.”
Marmalard: The Movie
Summer 2009
Tags: annoying ghost world reference, r.i.p. don lafontaine, xmas ape
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Available Now!
two-time champs in meaningless awards
ksk tees are here
fa real
the bloggies are dead to us
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September 2nd, 2008 at 12:25 pm
RIP, the trailer voice-over guy.
And Marmalard: The Movie…will that be directed by Uwe Boll and starring Marky Mark as Marmalard?
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Marky Mark? He’s too short to play Marmalard. LT maybe, but Marmalard, no way.
Maybe yes. Maybe no. Maybe fack yourself.
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:34 pm
This guy has an uncanny resemblence to a young Cadet Tackleberry.
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:35 pm
All scenes with LaDanian Tomlinson will have subtitles. To wit:
[scene shows Tomlinson biking on the sideline]
bikebikebikebikebikebike
[scene shows Tomlinson hiding from Marmalard at a restaurant]
hidehidehidehidehidehide
[scene shows Tomlinson on the sideline at Foxboro in January]
coldcoldcoldcoldcoldcold
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Saw Marmalard toss the ball a few times in the preseason…needless to say I was really waiting for a caption to appear that said “ball hangs in the air for 30 seconds before falling harmlessly 10 yards in front of the receiver.”
Watching the NFL this season will be hilarious.
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:48 pm
As much as I’m pretty sure Neal Patrick Harris is the ‘dude’ in his relationships, I still pray to gay-Jesus that Marmalard will be revealed as his discrete partner.
Maybe I should start praying he gets caught shagging up with some dude on Craigslist’s Casual Encounters M4M
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Every time I think you can’t possibly find a more ridiculous Marmalard pic, you prove me wrong.
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Watching the NFL this season will be hilarious.
not if you’re a Raiders fan.
/cries at desk
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:49 pm
/(The last item suggests Marmalard is/would be the butch. I think it’s obvious.)
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:40 pm
who play the [door flies open]????
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Michael Richards?
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:43 pm
@Menace: I think it’s safe to assume that this week, the role will be played by the Chiefs’ defense. After that: Roy Williams.
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Who’s gonna play Merriman? Mr. T maybe….
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:05 pm
@ognihs: but you’ve got JaMarcus Russell and Darren McFadden holding it down with like 5 other running backs so it can’t all be bad right? RIGHT?
/nevermind
//you can always hire Brother Numsey to bring home Al Davis
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:10 pm
I would pay money to see this.
September 2nd, 2008 at 4:02 pm
you’d have to get someone with a really steady hand and some cinematography virtuoso to correctly film the beauty of a Maramalard 4 yard rainbow shovel pass.
September 2nd, 2008 at 4:03 pm
maramalard? more like maramalamadingdang. now if spellcheck would have wisely corrected me the first time–whadday mean Marmalard isn’t on spellcheck?
September 2nd, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Some of the movie’s characters:
Marty Schottenheimer (villain): Dennis Hopper
Black Partner Nearing Retirement Who Gets Murdered Early on in the Film: Danny Glover
Wet-Behind-the-Ears Rookie Partner Rivers Is Forced to Baby-Sit: Ashton Kutcher
Sympathetic Honest Cop Who Gets Killed: Reggie VelJohnson (the dad from “Family Matters)
Love Interest: Wilmer Valderrama
September 2nd, 2008 at 4:44 pm
i will see any movie with reginald veljohnson
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Well, I take it we’ll never use the ‘r.i.p. don lafontaine’ tag again….
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:57 pm
I’d love to see Marmy star in the remake of “Man Hit In Groin With Football”