In a time of uncertainty…
One man will rise
“I hear Gates cleans his cooch with a lint roller.”
Marmalard: The Movie
Follow UPROXX Sports on Facebook and get the latest sports and NFL news & humor before everyone else.
"In a World Where Nothing Is What It Seems…"
RIP, the trailer voice-over guy.
And Marmalard: The Movie…will that be directed by Uwe Boll and starring Marky Mark as Marmalard?
Marky Mark? He’s too short to play Marmalard. LT maybe, but Marmalard, no way.
Maybe yes. Maybe no. Maybe fack yourself.
This guy has an uncanny resemblence to a young Cadet Tackleberry.
All scenes with LaDanian Tomlinson will have subtitles. To wit:
[scene shows Tomlinson biking on the sideline]
[scene shows Tomlinson hiding from Marmalard at a restaurant]
[scene shows Tomlinson on the sideline at Foxboro in January]
Saw Marmalard toss the ball a few times in the preseason…needless to say I was really waiting for a caption to appear that said “ball hangs in the air for 30 seconds before falling harmlessly 10 yards in front of the receiver.”
Watching the NFL this season will be hilarious.
As much as I’m pretty sure Neal Patrick Harris is the ‘dude’ in his relationships, I still pray to gay-Jesus that Marmalard will be revealed as his discrete partner.
Maybe I should start praying he gets caught shagging up with some dude on Craigslist’s Casual Encounters M4M
Every time I think you can’t possibly find a more ridiculous Marmalard pic, you prove me wrong.
not if you’re a Raiders fan.
/cries at desk
/(The last item suggests Marmalard is/would be the butch. I think it’s obvious.)
who play the [door flies open]????
@Menace: I think it’s safe to assume that this week, the role will be played by the Chiefs’ defense. After that: Roy Williams.
Who’s gonna play Merriman? Mr. T maybe….
@ognihs: but you’ve got JaMarcus Russell and Darren McFadden holding it down with like 5 other running backs so it can’t all be bad right? RIGHT?
//you can always hire Brother Numsey to bring home Al Davis
I would pay money to see this.
you’d have to get someone with a really steady hand and some cinematography virtuoso to correctly film the beauty of a Maramalard 4 yard rainbow shovel pass.
maramalard? more like maramalamadingdang. now if spellcheck would have wisely corrected me the first time–whadday mean Marmalard isn’t on spellcheck?
Some of the movie’s characters:
Marty Schottenheimer (villain): Dennis Hopper
Black Partner Nearing Retirement Who Gets Murdered Early on in the Film: Danny Glover
Wet-Behind-the-Ears Rookie Partner Rivers Is Forced to Baby-Sit: Ashton Kutcher
Sympathetic Honest Cop Who Gets Killed: Reggie VelJohnson (the dad from “Family Matters)
Love Interest: Wilmer Valderrama
i will see any movie with reginald veljohnson
Well, I take it we’ll never use the ‘r.i.p. don lafontaine’ tag again….
I’d love to see Marmy star in the remake of “Man Hit In Groin With Football”
Join the discussion. Sign Up or Sign In