If You Don’t Like The NFL, You Can Suck It: The 2008 KSK Kickoff Bukkake
SAY! SAY YOU, LITTLE BOY!
Tiny Tim: Yes, sir?
WHAT DAY IS IT TODAY?
Tiny Tim: Why, it’s the first day of the NFL season, sir.
IT IS? I DIDN’T MISS IT?
Tiny Tim: No, sir. You didn’t miss it. It’s today, it is!
HOOOOOLY SHIT! I DIDN’T MISS IT!!!! YEAAAHHHH BABY!!!!!
Tiny Tim: Kind sir, my weak legs hurt from my blood clot medication. And my tiny lungs make breathing so very hard. Can you spare my family and I a bit of food and coal for our furnace?
WHAT? NAH, FUCK THAT, YOU LITTLE CRIPPLE! I GOT SHIT TO DO! I GOTTA GET BEER! AND FOOD! AND WEED! AND I GOTTA GO JERK IT BEFORE THE GAME STARTS! GO HOBBLE ALONG AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!
Tiny Tim: OW! My bedsores!
QUIT YER BITCHING, KID! TODAY IS THE GREATEST DAY OF ALL! IT’S THE NFL SEASON AGAIN! WE’RE GONNA DRINK! AND DRINK SOME MORE! AND THROW UP! AND THEN DRINK AGAIN! AND WE’RE GONNA HAVE A BUKKAKE DAY! RIGHT HERE! WE’RE GONNA SPURT DICK JOKES ALL OVER THIS FUCKING SITE! WOULD YOU LIKE THAT, YA LITTLE SHIT?!
Tiny Tim: No.
THEN FUCK THE FUCK OFF! IT’S NFL TIME! FUCK THE CHILDREN! FOOTBALL’S BACK! WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, bukkake day, fuck tiny tim and fuck you, thank God it's back
September 4th, 2008 at 10:07 am
The countdown clock to the Cowboys’ third consecutive first-round playoff loss starts now. This is a blessed day indeed, if for no other reason than it’ll end in despair for double-j – a man who’d sell the soul of tiny tim, and all those like him, to get that 6th super bowl trophy.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:14 am
Fuck all of us. Every one.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:17 am
@jujrok: You shut your filthy mouth right now!!! The DOUBLE-J is all that’s right with football and the Cowboys will be on top once again. Don’t you know Romo’s a GODDAMNED STAR?!?!?! Where’ve you been all offseason?
September 4th, 2008 at 10:20 am
Ah, Timmy just needs a couple Vicodins and he’ll be ready to go out there and make a difference on the special teams unit… that is, if he wants to keep his job.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:20 am
What you talking ’bout, Moe!!!What you talking ’bout Everyone!!
September 4th, 2008 at 10:20 am
Opening Day!!! Pretty much the only day all season that I truly believe the Raiders will win more than 5 games. I’m going to savor it.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:31 am
Fuck you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 4th, 2008 at 10:50 am
come, everyone gather round and have a helping of this fine bukkake goose
September 4th, 2008 at 11:04 am
since this is a site solely dedicated to the nfl:
are there no prisons?! are there no whorehouses?!
September 4th, 2008 at 11:04 am
Another year, another terrible autodrafted FF team…
September 4th, 2008 at 11:06 am
Jesus Drew, you’re actually turning into Jerry now.
/nfl kickoff and buddy’s bachelor party this weekend. fuck and yes.
September 4th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Bring it on
September 4th, 2008 at 11:17 am
Those who care little enough about their teams to leave them up to Autodraft deserve what they get.
September 4th, 2008 at 11:30 am
You know it’s a special day when I’m excited to watch a goddamn Giants game.
Woooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
September 4th, 2008 at 11:40 am
Hey, I had to autodraft my team, and I care a fucking butt load. In fact, I care so much that I spent 6 hours going through the pre-rankings specifically to remove all defenses and kickers.
Sometimes our schedules clash, FMRA, so you take that back. YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!
September 4th, 2008 at 11:40 am
Can I get a hallelujah for the dick jokes, and the NFL Season!!!
September 4th, 2008 at 11:40 am
It’s on like donkey kong.
September 4th, 2008 at 11:47 am
Saint Swibbings Day already?
September 4th, 2008 at 11:54 am
+1 FMRA – fuck autodrafters
it feels like the offseason was a year long. welcome back football. i missed you.
September 4th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
The Ghost of NFL Seasons Past is a real motherfucker and I’m not sure I like the Ghost of NFL Seasons Present, but I’m glad that asshole finally showed up. It’s about fucking time.
September 4th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Ebeneezer Scrooge: Daniel Snyder
Jim Zorn: Bob Cratchit
September 4th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Sad news. Tiny Tim was just suspended. His blood clot medication was not approved for use by the NFL.
Everytime you hear a Pats fan crying about 18-1 and angel gets his wings!!
September 4th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
So what’s the bounty going to be for Brady’s foot? I’m willing to chip in a crisp dub note to motivate all defenses to get to crack-a-lackin’ on his ankle/foot. A blown knee would also be acceptable for payment of said bounty.
September 4th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
When can we start singing NFL carols? My favorite is “Good King Roethlisberger.”
/homer
September 4th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I’m not sure Heir Goodell and the NFL scheduling gurus could have scheduled a more boring kickoff game……. and yet I still CANNOT WAIT to sit my ass down with beer, chips and dip to watch this highly anticipated event!
September 4th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
i’m giving a big fuck you to the NFL for scheduling this game so that us on the west coast who were not smart enough to take the day off will miss at least half the game because of the early start time. what? we could wait until 8p eastern? .l.. ..l.
September 4th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Hark the herald referees siiing,
Favre just came in Peter King!
September 4th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Nothing warms the heart quite like Tiny Tim….and bukkake.