I Take You To Davey Jones’ Rocker
09.19.08
Hines Ward: Today be Intelnationar Tark Rike a Pilot Day. I terr foll you hoist the mizzenmast.
Hey kickel.
Jeff Reed: [Hiccups] Wha?
Ward: Yalllllllllll. I be a pilot.
Reed: Cool, man. When’d you get your wings? What’re you flying? Gonna do some skyfucking like the Cowboys. I’m up for that.
Ward: No sterrpid kickel. I a pilot. Yallllllllllllllll.
Reed: ….
Ward: It Intelnationar Tark Rike Pilot Day.
Reed: Oh, I gotcha. That’s not how pilots talk though. It’s more like “Maker-breaker. This is Major Tom to Ground Control.”
Ward: No, not pirate. Pilot.
Reed: Yeah, that’s what I said.
Ward: No, you sterrpid kickel! You luin Hines smirre. You now must wark the prank!
Reed: All right. [Exhales] Fuck, is it already 10 a.m.? Shit, I gotta hit the bar.
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There is no hope for the human race. You are all a bunch of fucking racists.
dese not lacist. my name johnny yune, and i applove this post and message.
Please don’t ever stop these. Yes, a rittle bit laccist. Its learry okay.
I’ve always been a big supporter of Talk Like a Pirate Day…. but this just made it that much better.
seliousry.
I will now spend the next ten minutes repeating “Yalllllllllll” and giggling to myself.
Shouldn’t Reed’s entrance be prefaced with “/pants fly open”?
Jeff Reed looks like the love child of the Road Dogg and Billy Gunn.
On a real note does that apron Jeff reed’s wearing say “I love dick?”
Fluck a duck, speaking in Hinesee is tough, speshary sperring the shit but silliosry it mak-ah me smirre! :D
Doh! i meant SILLIOUSRY!
Prees, cunt we hab a sillious discrussion heel? SILLIOUSLY!
Ape has one of those folding stand-up frames on his nightstand so that he can look at the matching parrot photos of himself and Hines Ward whenever he’s feeling lonely.
Why does he talk like that? Does he have testicles in his mouth?
/Feel a little bit bad for Bloncofn90
HALF HALF HALF!
“No, not pirate. Pilot.”
I raughed so hald at this phlase. Nice wolk.
Hey Hines,
I heard that the Steelers had a business man who was recently interested in buying the team. What was his name again?
Sincerely,
BBT
once again, hirralious.
Yalllllll
Thank you for this. Really thank you. TGISF
Is the Brack Pull made from leal pulls?
if that’s not bad ms paint i don’t know what is.
you had me at “yalllllll”
post of the century.
/but kickel photo need “nightmall fuer” tag
ROR!
(sigh) I can’t believe we’re going to lose to these nitwits on Sunday.
Wow, that’s fuckin’ blirriant. Blirriant I say!
Thanks to you, I began my lecture this morning as a pirate. Confused my students. Loved it.
I’ve been reading the Hines’ Posts for the past six months or so and have never heard Hines speak in real life until a week ago. I actually thought he had a Korean accent. When he started talking without any sort of accent and sounded sort of intelligent on top of it, well, I crapped myself laughing. Made me smirre.
Funny post or not, it’s always a little sad when Hines loses his smirre.
This pirate walks into a bar with a big ship’s wheel down his pants. The bartender says, “Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship’s wheel down the front of your pants?”
And the pirate says…
“Aaargh, it’s driving me nuts!!”
/Thanks for coming folks
//don’t forget to tip your wait staff
///goes back to looking for a job
Ward: No, not pirate. Pilot.
Reed: Yeah, that’s what I said.
That could have gone on so much longer, it would have been the “Who’s on first” of our generation.
yo ho yo ho a pilot’s rife for me!
I am so going as Hines Wald the Pilot for Halloween.
rittle bit lacist
I shot Betty Clockel,
Deriveled Coloner Sandels down to Davey Jones Rockel
/Colonel is a hard word to spell in Hines-speak
greatest. post. ever.
seliousry, i’m clying. i’m in teals. so funny.
Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘God is my co-pilot.’
In fact, I think I like God better that way.
Allll, matey, you’le one of does randruber. Plepale to be boalded, sculvy fork.
But, seriously. Reed didn’t point to the sky once.
No, not pirate. Pilot.
I don’t care who you are, that’s funny.
Do you have to change your underwear too? Because that line made me pee.
Just a little.
But enough to require a quick change.
@Animal Mother: Hines plefels Rong John Sirvels!
Shivel me timbels!
Led Rosbtel all you can eat shlimp make Hines smirre rong time!!
No, not pirate. Pilot.
I don’t care who you are, that’s funny.
Yalllllllllll
most priceless ever
“Booty” is the LAST thing I’d be calling the ho’s in West Pennsylhio.
Hines is going to eat at Rong John Sirvers today.
There, that’s better. Don’t he know, though that Pirates no smirre unless they stumbre onto some booty?
Porry want clackel?!
What, no exquisite oriental rug flying open?
/dies
He needs a pallot…