Hines Ward: Today be Intelnationar Tark Rike a Pilot Day. I terr foll you hoist the mizzenmast.

Hey kickel.

Jeff Reed: [Hiccups] Wha?

Ward: Yalllllllllll. I be a pilot.

Reed: Cool, man. When’d you get your wings? What’re you flying? Gonna do some skyfucking like the Cowboys. I’m up for that.

Ward: No sterrpid kickel. I a pilot. Yallllllllllllllll.

Reed: ….

Ward: It Intelnationar Tark Rike Pilot Day.

Reed: Oh, I gotcha. That’s not how pilots talk though. It’s more like “Maker-breaker. This is Major Tom to Ground Control.”

Ward: No, not pirate. Pilot.

Reed: Yeah, that’s what I said.

Ward:
No, you sterrpid kickel! You luin Hines smirre. You now must wark the prank!

Reed: All right. [Exhales] Fuck, is it already 10 a.m.? Shit, I gotta hit the bar.