Hines & Ben Get Used To Frontrunning
Hines Ward: You know, othel leceivel, many peeperr say now that thell all injewlee to Tom Bladee and Shawne Mellyman that Steerel are team to beat in AFC.
Santonio Holmes: [Admires own penis] …
Ward: I say no be so hasty. As Supel Bore winning leceivel, I know season not won or rost in Week 1.
Holmes: [Admires own penis] …
Ward: You must take rong view. Think of season as tlek up gleat mountain. Some may stumber at filst, but smirre berong to those who pelsist.
Ben Roethlisberger: HEY GUYS, THERE’S A MARIO WILLIAMS ON ME. I’M TRAPPED! HALP!
Ward: Foll examperr, you no have good Week 1. Fumberr barr, no get many yalds, too busy rooking at big-ah penis.
Holmes: [Admires own penis] …
Roethlisberger: HARF HARF HARF, THAT’S GOOD JOKES! F’REALS GUYS. THIS MARIO WILLIAMS IS KIND OF HEAVY. HE’S DIGGING INTO MY SHOULDERBLADE. AND THE BALL IS JUST SITTING THERE.
[Cloud of dust flies open]
Willie Parker: Hey man.
[Lifts Mario Williams off with one arm and chucks him aside.]
Willie: I got stronger in the off-season.
[Runs off]
Roethlisberger: WHO WAS THAT MASKED RUNNING BACK?
Steelers fans: YYYYAAAAA LET’S CALL HIM “JACKED” WILLIE PARKER!!!11!!
Rashard Mendenhall: [Said while fumbling ball] Aw nutbunnies.
Tags: ben rongrastname, hines wald is stirr me favolite steerel, picksburgh stillers, xmas ape
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September 10th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Just when I think there aren’t enough things that could fly open…
September 10th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Willie Parker needs to improve his pectoral muscle symmetry
September 10th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
I didn’t know Willie Parker had a mastectomy.
September 10th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
For about three weeks i thought Santonio’s elephantine genitalia was named “Limas Sweed.” Hmmh.
September 10th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
“Think of season as tlek up gleat mountain. Some may stumber at filst, but smirre berong to those who pelsist.”
That’s just changed my entire life.
September 10th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
*That
September 10th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Rooks rike Wirrie has been getting prenty of bulgogi with kimchee.
September 10th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Wow. Why do white boys ever even bother getting naked, again?
September 10th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Hey, it’s Kordell Stewart!
Slash: [Admires Holmes' penis]
September 10th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Bostonians have nothing on the Yinzers for lack of pigmentation.
September 10th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
@futuremrs: same reason why we still play basketball
September 10th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
After reading this post that included shirtless, penisful steelers I know that I can no longer read this site if either of the Drew brothers get traded to the steelers.
September 10th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Even though I hate the Steerels, Hines Wald arways make me smirre!
September 10th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Nutbunnies?
September 10th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
My comments are always needed in moderation. I’m just too much too handle!
September 10th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Seriously, that Roethlisberger character is so brutal
September 10th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
@Future Mrs
Someones gotta get naked to take cale of skinny, mouthy white gills. The blothels onry rike fat white gills who no tark back.
September 10th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
SURPRIZE BUTTSECKS!!!1
September 10th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
is mendenhall the black butters?
September 10th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Dayum, Willie Parker!
I said before I’d watch football if they mic’d all the players and coaches and put cameras in all the locker rooms, but I’m going to add that I’d like all the players to perform shirtless. Or at least the players who are reasonably ripped. Those uniforms cover up too much.
And there’s nothing wrong with naked white boys.
September 10th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
HARF HARF HARF will be the new rallying chant of the season.
September 10th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Fuck you, Hines Wald.
/Texans fan
September 10th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Don’t stare directly into thing, you may go blind.
September 10th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
the steelers have by far the most interesting group of personalities in the ksk-universe.
September 10th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Hey futuremrsrickankiel, if you want to see some comparable white penis, I’ll send one on my cell phone that I’ll take in the mirror in my bathroom even though part of it is obscured by the blinding flash. Orrrr something like that. (This entire generation’s) parents would be so proud!
September 10th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Jeff Reed? Izzat choo?
September 10th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
how the fuk does a cloud of dust fly open?
September 10th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Aw nutbunnies.
The most dreaded venereal disease of them all … and the most adorable!
September 10th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Is that kid in the Holmes jersey pointing out the black guy he and his friends are going to lynch after the game?
September 10th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Hines wald = David Lo-Pan from “Big trouble in little china”.
September 10th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
Hines: Why the rong face?
Santonio: My tripod ain’t working.
Hines: What’s a tlipod?
September 10th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
@stuscottbooyahs: OMG they are so much cuter than crabs
September 10th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
/ threadjack
Just saw DAVID HASSELHOF and some damn Social network crap on COLLEGE FOOTBALL LIVE on ESPN2. W. T. F?????????
Back to enjoying the fine stories and lovely pix at KSK.
September 10th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
The most dreaded venereal disease of them all … and the most adorable!
/coffee spews onto keyboard
Thanks a lot, Booyahs.
September 10th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
sorry guys, meant to italicize the quote. Mixed up LaTeX and HTML.
September 10th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Hines, Jack Burton and Egg Shen are going to find that Chinese girl with green eyes- and also Kim Cattrall.
September 10th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
do the ladies get cuntbunnies?
September 11th, 2008 at 12:28 am
There is a serious lack of Tomlin here and I am still not disappointed.
September 11th, 2008 at 12:33 am
Kordell left his mark on that group, lots of gay looking stuff going on. And I don’t think my computer screen has the proper colors to depict how dark Santonio Holmes’ skin is. He’s a black hole.
September 11th, 2008 at 12:42 am
Obligatory Steelers fan with bad moustache, middle of fan picture in the background
September 11th, 2008 at 1:45 am
Between Hines Ward’s broken English and Emmit Smith’s butchery of it I think I just unlearned literacy
September 11th, 2008 at 8:48 am
WTF?!? I just got to the office, and there’s nothing new to read (this is from yesterday)… C’mon now, make with the funny – chop chop!
September 11th, 2008 at 9:01 am
That has to be ape in the Kordell jersey back in three rivers.
September 11th, 2008 at 9:19 am
I know this is nit picky, but the china-men don’t pronounce their R’s like L’s. They just pronounce the L’s like R’s. They would pronounce Miller, mirror, and mural the same. I’m fluent in the broken Asian/English, I have to deal with these fuckers on a regular basis to make sure my lead based children’s toys make it in time for Christmas. What’s the big deal about having a little bit of a poinonous substance in toys. Those cheap toys are made by kids that know what kids like.
September 11th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
I’m pretty sure “aw nutbunnies” is a Freakazoid reference. If so, well played.