FINALLY
Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, you stupid, incompetent, boneheaded, pathetic, inept, foolish, idiotic, retarded, braindead, arrogant, reckless, oblivious, shitheaded lump of a man.
You Lions fans may want to go to the hospital and fill out a mental rape kit, so police will have trace evidence of just what Mr. Millen did to you.
And Millen, if you go anywhere near a broadcast booth after this, I think I speak for the people of Detroit when I say you better make sure that booth has been fireproofed. Folks from that town are quite adept at burning shit.
Tags: at last our long national nightmare is over, hallelujah
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September 24th, 2008 at 10:35 am
ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reports that FoxSports’ Jay Glazier reports that Matt Millen is going to take an analsyst job with ESPN.
September 24th, 2008 at 10:39 am
As a Vikes fan, I truely will miss Matt Millen. You will always have a special place in my heart. Rip off a piece of your blunt and pour out some of yo 40, a true G died today.
September 24th, 2008 at 10:39 am
This just in: Elgin Baylor has hired Matt Millen as a personnel consultant.
September 24th, 2008 at 10:40 am
And in the ultimate “fuck you” to fans, the Lions sign Tony Kornheiser to replace Millen.
September 24th, 2008 at 10:42 am
This is just the move that franchise needed. I expect big things from the Ford famZZZZzzzzz….
September 24th, 2008 at 10:45 am
This has been the longest “How the fuck does he/she still have a job?” quandary since that fat bitch Natalie did 8 seasons on “The Facts of Life.”
September 24th, 2008 at 10:46 am
I can’t wait to see the incompetent fuck Ford hires next!
September 24th, 2008 at 10:49 am
I’m sure Ford is rushing a GM contract to half empty bucket of piss right now. sorry, as a lions fan i still have some bitterness issues.
September 24th, 2008 at 10:52 am
and the lions hire…lou holtz
September 24th, 2008 at 10:52 am
One down, one to go: Jerry Angelo you better watch your back
September 24th, 2008 at 10:53 am
I hear the Lions are really high on Michael Crabtree, WR Texas Tech in this year’s draft…
Seriously DEE-Twah…congratz on ridding yourself if this dumbass
September 24th, 2008 at 10:56 am
I want to be clever and funny, but I feel like I’ve just been released from 8 years in my stalker’s basement. It’s just relief and exhaustion and need to shower this whole thing off me.
September 24th, 2008 at 10:59 am
@BeckyMI
DOn’t bend over to pick up the soap, they might just lay the buttpipe to you again.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:01 am
I offically declare the greatest day in the history of times!
September 24th, 2008 at 11:02 am
Hey.. Leave Natalie out of this.
/secret crush circa 1985
September 24th, 2008 at 11:04 am
Mortensen is on SportsCenter right now saying that he thought Millen had finally found the right guy when he hired Marinelli. Yo Mort, Millen wouldn’t know true talent if it sat on his face and squirmed.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:07 am
So who’s going to make the case for drafting a white WR from Nebraska next season?
“That guy’s speed will turn this franchise around I tell ya!”
September 24th, 2008 at 11:08 am
and the lions hire…Isiah Thomas
September 24th, 2008 at 11:13 am
Does this mean the Lions will be good from now on? I think not. It’s hard to get rid of the culture of losing.
Trust me.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Now if the domino effect could juuuuust topple over to McHale, everything would be golden.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:18 am
So who do we loathe the most now? I feel all empty inside now.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:18 am
About GD time, Mr. Ford. Now go suck on a twelve guage and we’ll really be rolling.
I’m having a beer at lunch.
@ CR
What bitterness issues?
September 24th, 2008 at 11:20 am
So glad I took Isaiah in my suicide pool.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Good for Lions fans. They deserve this (at the very least).
September 24th, 2008 at 11:29 am
This is the greatest moment in my life as a Lions fan. Sure, it was fun seeing Barry break out a highlight, but that happened frequently. As far as individual moments go, the “Millen Fired!!!” email I saw this morning is tops.
@Cedric Benson’s AA Sponsor
I think any Lions fan would kill for Angelo. At least we’d have a defense for once.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:29 am
So what finally did it?
No playoff appearances?
Was it the 31 total wins since 2001?
Was it the hirings and firing of THREE head coaches?
Was it constantly drafting overhyped, overrated bust wideouts with the first pick every year?
Was it giving up 30+ points per game this season? Starting 0-3 this year?
Was it the walkouts?
The Millen Man March?
The fans, media and son of the fucking owner telling you to dump this lifeless asshole?
September 24th, 2008 at 11:32 am
I really think this requires an explanation from God… the people of Detroit must have dug up a bunch of saints pissed on them and buried them upside down for all this pain.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:33 am
so who’s next, Rams GM?
September 24th, 2008 at 11:38 am
You Lions fans may want to go to the hospital and fill out a mental rape kit
A note to any Lions fans in Wasilla: they might try and charge you for that rape kit.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:43 am
no jokes on this one. hopefully things get better for lions fans, if there are any left.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:43 am
You’d charge for rape kits if you could see Russia from your house too, asshole.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Overcompensated, wildly incompetent, extremely saavy at explaining failure in a positive light. I just might be the Matt Millen of my company.
September 24th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
On the downside, the unemployment rate in Michigan has gone up another percentage point due to the sudden collapse fo the ‘FIRE MILLEN’ merchandise industry.
And as the other downside, William Clay Ford now has it in his head to rehire Wayne Fontes.
September 24th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Kimbo, I’d also run up a multiple-million dollar debt for my hometown, obstruct a state investigation, make stuff up about the Bridge to Nowhere, hide from the media, and claim I’m going to see Jesus in my lifetime. But that’s just me.
September 24th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
This is terrible news. I’d much rather have him there in Detroit ruining the Lions than on TV ruining my afternoon. Is there any possibility we could package Millen and Olbermann as a broadcast team and send them to do Russian hockey for like, ever. Actually Millen isn’t even Detroit’s worst exec… Need I remind Detroit fans that Dumars passed up a dynasty when he passed on melo for Darko. What? Basketball? Sue me…
September 24th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
PoFlaWa up in dis hizzy!!!
September 24th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
doc holliday said:”This has been the longest “How the fuck does he/she still have a job?” quandary since that fat bitch Natalie did 8 seasons on “The Facts of Life.”
Uh, because they’re both white?
/ducks
Seriously, mob money laundering has to be involved somehow, right, RIGHT?…including Natalie.
September 24th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Memo to Redskin fans:
You always complain that Danny needs to hire a GM. Well, be careful what you wish for! New Redskins GM, Matt Millen.
September 24th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
This is the perfect opportunity for Al Davis to hire Millen (a former Raider!) to act as a hired thug for their PR department to physically confront all of the scary Asian reporters on the Raider beat who ask relevant questions about the franchise.
September 24th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
This just in: Millen hired by GM to run the company. (Further into the ground).
September 24th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
This just in: HC Ford asks congress for a Lions bailout.
September 24th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
The Fords’ short list for Matt Millen’s successor:
Monkey with bingo tumbler
Inanimate carbon rod
The guy who designed the Ford Pinto
Gorilla with a computer and pet cat
Jon Kitna: Player/GM
September 24th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
This is great news for Detroit fans! Not only did Millen get fired but the Tigers are going to the playoffs too! Oh wait….
September 24th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Hire BILL COWHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 24th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
To Celebrate, how about a Motown playlist?
Only happy songs, of course.
Dancing in the Street- Martha Reeves and the Vandellas
My Girl- The Temptations
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough- Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell
(Love Is Like A) Heat Wave- Martha Reeves and the Vandellas
Baby Love- The Supremes
I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)- The Four Tops
You Can’t Hurry Love- The Supremes
For Once In My Life- Stevie Wonder
Get Ready- Rare Earth
Fingertips Part II- Stevie Wonder
Reach Out (I’ll Be There)- The Four Tops
I Just Want To Celebrate- Rare Earth
I Want You Back- Jackson 5 (More for its upbeat awesomeness than its actual lyrical intent)
Millen’s Playlist:
I Heard It Through The Grapevine- Marvin Gaye
Ain’t Too Proud To Beg- The Temptations
The Tears Of A Clown- Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
Don’t Mess With Bill (Ford Jr.)- The Marvelettes
What’s Goin’ On?- Marvin Gaye
September 24th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Is Lee Iacocca still alive?
September 24th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Is it just me or is Matt-E starting to look like Grandpa Jones from Hee-Haw?
September 24th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
As a chiefs fan, I would like to suggest that the lions hire Carl Peterson as thier new GM.
September 24th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
/College WRs everywhere mourn.
September 24th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Does this mean the rest of the NFC North can’t count on two free wins anymore?
September 24th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
So NOW who’s the worst GM in football?
Baseball has the Pirates (16 STRAIGHT sub-.500 seasons), basketball has the aforementioned Isiah, hockey?
September 24th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
I know that justice has been done and that I should be happy, but as a Bears fan I’m kind of disappointed by the fact that the Lions, theoretically, might be contenders in the next several years.
September 24th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Millen looks like he’s ready to go all coitus on us in that photo.
September 24th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Chris Mortensen reports that sources say Chris Mortensen tops the list of candidates to be the Next G. M.
September 25th, 2008 at 10:23 am
This lifelong suffering Lions fan (I popped out of my coma a few times to revel in the glory that was Barry) hopes to God (Tiger Woods) that the Lions find first somebody to ADVISE them on the search for a new President and/or GM. So that, you know, they pick maybe someone who doesn’t have a knack for stealing a senile billionaire’s money ’cause he tells funny football stories over highballs at the club.
But I’m not bitter, just haven’t had my Lions(TM) Xanax.
September 25th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
I hereby nominate this git be targeted for termination…wait for it…Phil ” I wouldn’t know a good free agent if he stuck his penis in my vagina” Savage. You with me Browns fans? We get Phil, who could have gotten a 1st and 3rd round pick for the DA experience. We roll RAC the fuck outta Cleveland on the back of a pickup truck. We trick Derek into going to Oregon for the We Love The Browns in the Pacific Northwest Freak-a-Thon then seal off that border. We tell Kamerion Wembley…either you play inside linebacker or go play with the alligators roaming free in Texas…we ship Corey Williams back to Wisconsin in a vat of cheese…and vow to NEVER draft another Corey again. We threaten to trade Braylon to the Lions. My plan is brilliant in its soundness.
September 26th, 2008 at 9:48 am
Kill DA (who’s snorted away his future). Kill Romeo. Kill Savage.
That only leaves Brady Quinn…. eh.