If Tommy from Quinzee met Jerral Jones and suddenly [door flies open] T.J. walked in, would the internetz explode?
It’s only week one folks. There is still time for Jessica Simpson to get pregnant with Jerral’s ” WOO EEE I AM FEKKING CRAZY” love child.
09.08.08 at 11:42 pm
KSwing23
Donezo.
09.08.08 at 11:09 pm
Cassie
What’s your problem, Tim? The fact that I’m a chick that knows a little something about football, or the fact that I’m not swooning over Tommy Terrific? Like I said, I’m a Pats fan. Brady’s only one player on the team. He’ll be back next year. Bitching about it isn’t really going to help any.
Oh, and your haiku isn’t even a haiku. Dumbass.
09.08.08 at 5:53 pm
Tim
Haiku for Jay:
Jets go 8 & 8.
Farve not that good.
Mangina smell like tuna, again.
09.08.08 at 5:52 pm
Tim
Cassie: Eat my shithole and while you’re down there, say hi to your mom.
09.08.08 at 5:35 pm
Cassie
1. Moss was the only one who called it a dirty play. And yes, he also admitted he was way down the field. Was anyone surprised? He’s got an opinion about everything.
2. Cassel can’t take this team to the playoffs. Only 17 points on a team that was 4-12 last season? Come on.
3. As far as I see it, they have two choices: call up Gutierrez, or orchestrate a Bledsoe comeback.
4. I can’t help but think this is karma for wishing a body cast upon Favre. And yes, I am a Pats fan.
09.08.08 at 11:27 am
dick_gozinia
Peter King said that this was not only a sad day for the Pats, but a sad day for the entire NFL. Really? I would like to enter these above comments as exhibit A of my defense, Mr. King.
09.08.08 at 10:59 am
twoeightnine
OOOOH YEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHH! The tears… so tasty… must masturbate… again.
09.08.08 at 8:31 am
Jay
A haiku for you on this momentous occasion:
Brady is so fucked
Pollard for MVP, please
Cry some more Tawwmmy
09.07.08 at 11:34 pm
Mo Charlo
I think my favorite part is that there are absolutely no references to anything else. Just a picture of Tahmmy and his favorite word.
09.07.08 at 10:54 pm
MartinTheMerciless
Posted on Yahoo.
This will be a miserable week for Brady drafters, obviously. The next time New England offers a comprehensive injury update will be the first time.
Good point. We will be subjected to 15 weeks of maybe next week.
09.07.08 at 10:30 pm
jeff
ROFL @ Team Captain
PFT has turned to shit in the last couple years. The sprint product placement crap and Florio’s ridiculous homerism makes reading it almost unbearable (I really hope he watched ECU kick the crap out of his beloved WVU mountaineers).
09.07.08 at 9:09 pm
david
My new, all time number one favorite tag.
09.07.08 at 8:49 pm
Daydream Billiever
i bet there’s a petition already to get Pollard, the Chief who did it, suspended
09.07.08 at 8:44 pm
Brandon Marshall Tucker Band
Let’s see you run up the score on one leg, pretty boy.
How long before some douchetard Pats fan starts an online petition to suspend the season until Brady’s ready to play? If anyone thinks they won’t, remember the petition to overturn the result of the Super Bowl.
09.07.08 at 8:36 pm
Animal Mother
Randy Moss just asked for a trade to a team with a real QB. Beware of the work slowdown. He heard it worked for Manny.
Reasonable Pats fans? Oh wait, nevermind, the crazies are too busy commenting on the story where Moss called it dirty even though he was way down the field.
And the fucking website wants me to register to view their shitty content now. Fuck them.
09.07.08 at 7:40 pm
Monkey Business
God, it’s like Christmas has come early.
/hoping for a plasma TV under my tree in the morning
09.07.08 at 7:35 pm
The Rooster Lives
Haha I lost my starting QB in fantasy and still got the win this week. Suck it Pats fans!!
/Thank God I have a good backup QB
09.07.08 at 7:33 pm
Huge_Midget
Bernard Pollard is now Purdue’s best player to have made it to the NFL. Sorry Brees and Orton, Pollard just did the league a favor.
You better sleep with the light on and watch your back walking down the street… you know how crazy Boston fans are? If they ever find out who you are, they’ll beat your face in for the bounty/curse crap. Be careful or you’ll be sharing the back of an unmarked van with Sully and his Pat Patriot tatoo a third up your anus.
09.07.08 at 6:13 pm
make it snow
I’m torn. On the one hand, I have Randy Moss on my fantasy team. On the other hand, HOLY SHIT YES.
09.07.08 at 6:11 pm
Gino Tourettsa
Tom Brady’s Recovery on ESPN: an in-depth 20 part series.
09.07.08 at 5:51 pm
SaveUsKyleOrton!
Chances that the Pats won’t be mentioned in a Simmons column from now until next August? 100% It’s all Red Saawwx, Celtics, and bad MTV shows/sports movies/lameass Vegas trip reports for the next 11 months.
09.07.08 at 5:41 pm
jackin'4beats
@ Westbrook Is My Anti-Drug: not going to happen dude. Browns are gonna get raped today. Pac-Man iz down wid it. Fa sho’.
09.07.08 at 5:36 pm
blue
dirty: croyle was your starting qb too?
09.07.08 at 5:32 pm
dirty
my starting man crush and starting fantasy qb just went down. have some sympathy.
09.07.08 at 5:07 pm
obit rice
FAAACK is what the Browns secondary just said as T.O. goes untouched in the endzone!
09.07.08 at 4:59 pm
moirrra
hey lay off romo’s knees… he’s my starting qb
that’s what brady gets for thinking he’s better than the game of football. hahaha look at you now fucker, you’re not much of anything without fully functional knees, now are you?
09.07.08 at 4:58 pm
smeos
Allah be praised.
09.07.08 at 4:58 pm
TheRealThing
@Jon,
Knowing that fuck (Brady), it’ll probably end up being some gay sprain.
09.07.08 at 4:50 pm
Jon
If there’s a god, this injury will require surgery and Brady will contract full blown AIDS from a result of a faulty transfusion
09.07.08 at 4:49 pm
Chazz_Goodtimes
Can barely type through the tears, I now know what it must have been like to see kennedy get shot.
/devotes all fan energy to fantasy football team.
09.07.08 at 4:48 pm
johndewar
Greatest. Post. Ever.
09.07.08 at 4:46 pm
Commando
That had to be fucking great for Patriot-haters. FUCK! Whatever, I’m a fan and I say no one should feel bad for them.
09.07.08 at 4:40 pm
i make it dwayne on these bowe's
oh please, football jesus, let tony romo’s knee be next!
09.07.08 at 4:34 pm
slothrop
Monkey: You mean Cosell? He’s only been dead for 13 years. Which is only 10 years longer than Gibbs.
09.07.08 at 4:30 pm
Monkey Business
I really wish they had the same guy announcing the Ali-Frazier fight doing the play by play for this game.
“DOWN GOES BRADY! DOWN GOES BRADY! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!”
Seriously though. This is what you get for beating up on a Hall of Fame coach. Fuckheads.
09.07.08 at 4:27 pm
NC Wahoo
Drew, how high was that bounty? It took someone the entire offseason to cash in on it…
09.07.08 at 4:18 pm
Westbrook Is My Anti-Drug
All I need is the Browns to lay the smack down on Dallas and this’ll be the greatest opening day ever
09.07.08 at 4:15 pm
slothrop
Note to Matt Cassel: Eat a bowl of shut the hell up stew.
09.07.08 at 4:12 pm
Robut M. Nixon
“That was a dirty play.”
-Rodney Harrison, Vince Wilfork, Richard Seymour, Tedy Bruschi, entire Patriots OL
09.07.08 at 4:08 pm
slothrop
fuckity fuck fuck.
Daunte Culpepper is available, right? Fuck. Me.
09.07.08 at 4:06 pm
TimmyJimmy
I own Maroney, and there’s no way I’m gonna rejoice.
Yeah, the Pats have to feed him the ball now, but everyone they play will now stack 8 in the box to stop him.
09.07.08 at 3:43 pm
dickey simpkins
Definitely the karma they deserve for getting such an easy schedule. Now let’s see if really any random schmo with an amazing O-line can be a good QB.
Laurence Maroney owners rejoice!
09.07.08 at 3:39 pm
The Pirate Sloth
So does that guy collect last seasons bounty?
09.07.08 at 3:34 pm
SaveUsKyleOrton!
I think the Meast of the Week award has been safely locked up.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/02/bennom-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2008/12/clemonsstiffarm-150x150.gif)
If Tommy from Quinzee met Jerral Jones and suddenly [door flies open] T.J. walked in, would the internetz explode?
It’s only week one folks. There is still time for Jessica Simpson to get pregnant with Jerral’s ” WOO EEE I AM FEKKING CRAZY” love child.
Donezo.
What’s your problem, Tim? The fact that I’m a chick that knows a little something about football, or the fact that I’m not swooning over Tommy Terrific? Like I said, I’m a Pats fan. Brady’s only one player on the team. He’ll be back next year. Bitching about it isn’t really going to help any.
Oh, and your haiku isn’t even a haiku. Dumbass.
Haiku for Jay:
Jets go 8 & 8.
Farve not that good.
Mangina smell like tuna, again.
Cassie: Eat my shithole and while you’re down there, say hi to your mom.
1. Moss was the only one who called it a dirty play. And yes, he also admitted he was way down the field. Was anyone surprised? He’s got an opinion about everything.
2. Cassel can’t take this team to the playoffs. Only 17 points on a team that was 4-12 last season? Come on.
3. As far as I see it, they have two choices: call up Gutierrez, or orchestrate a Bledsoe comeback.
4. I can’t help but think this is karma for wishing a body cast upon Favre. And yes, I am a Pats fan.
Peter King said that this was not only a sad day for the Pats, but a sad day for the entire NFL. Really? I would like to enter these above comments as exhibit A of my defense, Mr. King.
OOOOH YEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHH! The tears… so tasty… must masturbate… again.
A haiku for you on this momentous occasion:
Brady is so fucked
Pollard for MVP, please
Cry some more Tawwmmy
I think my favorite part is that there are absolutely no references to anything else. Just a picture of Tahmmy and his favorite word.
Posted on Yahoo.
This will be a miserable week for Brady drafters, obviously. The next time New England offers a comprehensive injury update will be the first time.
Good point. We will be subjected to 15 weeks of maybe next week.
ROFL @ Team Captain
PFT has turned to shit in the last couple years. The sprint product placement crap and Florio’s ridiculous homerism makes reading it almost unbearable (I really hope he watched ECU kick the crap out of his beloved WVU mountaineers).
My new, all time number one favorite tag.
i bet there’s a petition already to get Pollard, the Chief who did it, suspended
Let’s see you run up the score on one leg, pretty boy.
How long before some douchetard Pats fan starts an online petition to suspend the season until Brady’s ready to play? If anyone thinks they won’t, remember the petition to overturn the result of the Super Bowl.
Randy Moss just asked for a trade to a team with a real QB. Beware of the work slowdown. He heard it worked for Manny.
Paytree-ats who? I’m a SAWX fan!
Easterbrook will say:
Brady ruined, cries like a bitch
Pats will shit the bed.
That means Bernard Pollard will be known for two things in his NFL career, the first being this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-XqYkrsgCc
http://www.profootballtalk.com/2008/09/07/report-brady-out-for-the-year/
Florio says torn ACL.
…TORN BY THE ULTRA SLICK NEW SPRINT RAZR V3!
Peter King: “I think a lot of people will be sad if Brady misses the season”
Who the fuck let this guy on TV?!
http://www.boston.com/sports/football/patriots/reiss_pieces/2008/09/pollard_on_the.html
Reasonable Pats fans? Oh wait, nevermind, the crazies are too busy commenting on the story where Moss called it dirty even though he was way down the field.
And the fucking website wants me to register to view their shitty content now. Fuck them.
God, it’s like Christmas has come early.
/hoping for a plasma TV under my tree in the morning
Haha I lost my starting QB in fantasy and still got the win this week. Suck it Pats fans!!
/Thank God I have a good backup QB
Bernard Pollard is now Purdue’s best player to have made it to the NFL. Sorry Brees and Orton, Pollard just did the league a favor.
Yahoo is reporting Torn ACL. NE is done.
Brady done for season?!
http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news;_ylt=AgovSu4q.Zu1u20svLqO0R5DubYF?slug=ms-bradyoutforyear090708&prov=yhoo&type=lgns
You better sleep with the light on and watch your back walking down the street… you know how crazy Boston fans are? If they ever find out who you are, they’ll beat your face in for the bounty/curse crap. Be careful or you’ll be sharing the back of an unmarked van with Sully and his Pat Patriot tatoo a third up your anus.
I’m torn. On the one hand, I have Randy Moss on my fantasy team. On the other hand, HOLY SHIT YES.
Tom Brady’s Recovery on ESPN: an in-depth 20 part series.
Chances that the Pats won’t be mentioned in a Simmons column from now until next August? 100% It’s all Red Saawwx, Celtics, and bad MTV shows/sports movies/lameass Vegas trip reports for the next 11 months.
@ Westbrook Is My Anti-Drug: not going to happen dude. Browns are gonna get raped today. Pac-Man iz down wid it. Fa sho’.
dirty: croyle was your starting qb too?
my starting man crush and starting fantasy qb just went down. have some sympathy.
FAAACK is what the Browns secondary just said as T.O. goes untouched in the endzone!
hey lay off romo’s knees… he’s my starting qb
that’s what brady gets for thinking he’s better than the game of football. hahaha look at you now fucker, you’re not much of anything without fully functional knees, now are you?
Allah be praised.
@Jon,
Knowing that fuck (Brady), it’ll probably end up being some gay sprain.
If there’s a god, this injury will require surgery and Brady will contract full blown AIDS from a result of a faulty transfusion
Can barely type through the tears, I now know what it must have been like to see kennedy get shot.
/devotes all fan energy to fantasy football team.
Greatest. Post. Ever.
That had to be fucking great for Patriot-haters. FUCK! Whatever, I’m a fan and I say no one should feel bad for them.
oh please, football jesus, let tony romo’s knee be next!
Monkey: You mean Cosell? He’s only been dead for 13 years. Which is only 10 years longer than Gibbs.
I really wish they had the same guy announcing the Ali-Frazier fight doing the play by play for this game.
“DOWN GOES BRADY! DOWN GOES BRADY! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!”
Seriously though. This is what you get for beating up on a Hall of Fame coach. Fuckheads.
Drew, how high was that bounty? It took someone the entire offseason to cash in on it…
All I need is the Browns to lay the smack down on Dallas and this’ll be the greatest opening day ever
Note to Matt Cassel: Eat a bowl of shut the hell up stew.
“That was a dirty play.”
-Rodney Harrison, Vince Wilfork, Richard Seymour, Tedy Bruschi, entire Patriots OL
fuckity fuck fuck.
Daunte Culpepper is available, right? Fuck. Me.
I own Maroney, and there’s no way I’m gonna rejoice.
Yeah, the Pats have to feed him the ball now, but everyone they play will now stack 8 in the box to stop him.
Definitely the karma they deserve for getting such an easy schedule. Now let’s see if really any random schmo with an amazing O-line can be a good QB.
Laurence Maroney owners rejoice!
So does that guy collect last seasons bounty?
I think the Meast of the Week award has been safely locked up.
/karma’s a bitch, huh?
http://www.boston.com/sports/football/patriots/reiss_pieces/09072008hit300.jpg
Where was this last season?
The tag sums up my feelings on the matter.
Yessssssss!
1 – 18?
Just a bit late to collect that bounty
Pollard, SHOTY ’09
Life is GOOD! Bills up at the half. Brady hurt. And the beer is cold.