Everything is wonderful and nothing is not wonderful.
Until recently, I thought Peter King reserved his breathless enthusiasm for the likes of Brett Favre and Tony Romo. But that was before Drew brought this week’s slurpfest regarding Marriott’s exercise rooms and breakfast buffets to my attention. Then a question struck me, is it possible King effusively fawns over every single thing he enjoys even slightly? Well, today we got our answer…
“I was on the way home yesterday, trying to make my way from the baggage claim to the taxi stand at LaGuardia. Between my bags and a hot cup of Peet’s Garuda Blend, I had my hands full. It was then I saw someone outside walking towards the same door I was. Now here’s the stunning part, this nice gentleman—who didn’t know me from Adam– actually paused to hold the door open for to exit before he walked in himself. What a guy! I mean, he didn’t exactly open the door for me because it was already open, but he kept it from closing in my face. He had on a sharp-looking pine green J. Crew shirt—he looked like a million bucks! As I approached, I caught a slight whiff– just a faint aroma, mind you, nothing overpowering by a man of his quiet dignity, of his aftershave (it must have been aftershave as he didn’t strike me as a body-spray or cologne type of guy).
Under his arm he carried a book, and even though I couldn’t see the title, I’m sure it was something quite literate and heady—but not pretentious. No a chap like this could never be pretentious. He gave me a slight smile as I passed. Not one of those “gee, aren’t I a prince” grins, just a slight “hail-fellow-traveler-well-met” uptick to the corners of his mouth. In an earlier age, he might have even given me a quick doff of his fedora.
This guy surely has a beautiful wife, a couple smart little kids and a hearty pot roast waiting at home for him, yet he takes time out of his busy day to help out a complete stranger. Keep your eyes on this up-and-comer, America! I wouldn’t be surprised if that fellow winds up in the Senate someday. Just a super, super gentleman from whom we could all stand to learn a thing or two!
Oooh, and let me tell you about the young lady at Baskin-Robbins…
Tags: aren't these wordpress tags just the greatest?, peter king
September 25th, 2008 at 7:41 am
I saw a little Tom Brady in him.
September 25th, 2008 at 7:46 am
There was this incredibly lovely person at the Wal-Mart today, greeting everyone! Not just you and me but all the people that walk through the doors at the Wal-Mart. It was incredible, the love and joy shining through that man.
September 25th, 2008 at 8:11 am
When I went to this strip club, the women were so nice. They would gently rub their hands on my shoulder and ask me if I wanted a massage. Some of them even asked me if I wanted to dance!! I mean they even got naked and danced on stage, and all I had to do was give them a dollar. I mean, what can you get for a dollar these days?!? They could not have been friendlier; and the whiff of cheap perfume mixed in with the Jersey air was absolutely enthralling!
September 25th, 2008 at 8:21 am
King is a strange sumnabitch
September 25th, 2008 at 8:31 am
Why was Drew at LaGuardia?
September 25th, 2008 at 8:31 am
Met a nice fellow in a north London bathroom the other day. He was quite pleasant and VERY relaxed as he burned some sort of incense in the stall. He even invited me into the stall to share in the aroma (it smelled even better in confined quarters!) Well after breathing in some of this wonderful fragrance, let me tell you; this gentlemen treated me to some of the finest pleasures I have felt in some while. I knew those Brits were friendly, but to cup my genitals while giving my red eye a thorough cleaning, well that’s just far above and beyond what I was expecting! I suggest this experience to anyone touring London in the next little while.
September 25th, 2008 at 8:36 am
I think Former Horseballs Fan put it best…
September 25th, 2008 at 8:46 am
In PK’s defense Marriott’s breakfast buffets do kick ass. Especially the ones with the make your own Belgian waffles.
September 25th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Now I know you’re making things up…
No way would Peter King ever notice a female at Baskin Robbins.
September 25th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Normally I’d think it was me he was talking about - I’m generally nice like that… but I would have recognized this dipshit, and let the door smack him in the face, spilling his coffee. Then maybe we could have seen some rage from PK on his wonderfully written articles.
September 25th, 2008 at 8:58 am
10 to 1 the book was “boys will be boys”
@ merk: George Michael reference?
September 25th, 2008 at 9:04 am
“Not enough elliptical trainers, but that’s a fight we travelers will never win…”
Elliptical?? Totally gay. Be a man and do some real cardio.
September 25th, 2008 at 9:16 am
Just when I thought PK couldn’t get any gayer, he goes ahead and steps up his gay quotient once again. Wonderful.
September 25th, 2008 at 9:20 am
/pinching nose
I can’t take shit like this so early in the mo’nin’. Is it sexy friday yet?
September 25th, 2008 at 9:26 am
Who I like every night, and I mean Tony’s Korn-heiser.
September 25th, 2008 at 9:50 am
@senor - yeah, sorry, got KSK mixed up with the 80’s pop stars blog i frequent.
September 25th, 2008 at 10:16 am
cosign TDub.
September 25th, 2008 at 10:54 am
**Ahem** - This comment is by far the best comment ever. Infact, all of these comments are. How these people can must such amazingly intelectual yet hilariously funny comments is beyond me…..
September 25th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Im pretty sure PK would write for Penthouse Fourm if he wasnt in sports journalism.
/still waiting for the door to fly open.
September 25th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Can we start every PK story with [closet door flies open] from now on?
September 25th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
You had me for a minute but this is to gay and flowery for even PK.
September 25th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Goddam, what do I gotta do to get a sweet gig spewing bullshit for a major publication?
“A couple of weeks ago, brilliant columnists like me talked about how much the game would miss Tom Brady. The game does miss Brady’s class and greatness and star power, but the fans, apparently, have moved on. Either that or the NFL is the best league in history at creating new stars and new stories. Or both. Let’s examine the TV ratings for two football games: New England at the Jets on Sept. 9, 2007, and New England at the Jets on Sept. 14, 2008. Both games were played at 4:15 p.m. Brady played in the first one and missed the second. Now, naysayers will say: The second game had Brett Favre in it. He’s as big an attraction as Brady. Bigger, maybe. Maybe. But what I would say is this: The first game was the rematch of the 2006 wild-card matchup at Foxboro, and the season-opener, and how can you get more fired-up about a game than that? I do think having Favre in the game would add juice for the New York market, because he’s still a player of far more fascination than Chad Pennington for the locals; and I’m sure Favre ratcheted up interest nationally a bit, because the Jets with Favre are going to be a bigger attraction than the Jets with anyone. I am reminded of what Bill Parcells once told a young rising star named Drew Bledsoe, to try to keep Bledsoe from getting a big head: The fans root for the uniform, not the player. And to think there was an appreciable rise in ratings the first game without Brady seems to prove that more than ever.”
No shit, PK? Every football fan doesn’t watch games just because one guy is playing, they actually watch to see the entire fucking team? The hell you say… And they’re really super fucking excited about seeing the first game of the season for a team? I never thought about it that way. You ARE brilliant.
PK makes Peggy Noonan’s Reagan worship seem not quite as creepy by comparison. Damn…
September 25th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
How very Panglossian of you, PK.
/best of all possible comments
September 25th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
I’m just grateful that (for now) PK has avoided verbally fellating Barack Obama in any of his sports columns. You know he wants to give Barack a public tongue-worshipping a’la his Favre and Romo columns.