Early Game Open Thread You Into Submission
There’s a slew of fair-to-middling-to-piddling games filling the early slate, highlighted by the epic showdown of winless Ohio teams. Brady Quinn hopes to beard the Bengals in its den, hopefully with his beard in attendance. Then there’s the ever-tantalizing dual of journeymen quarterbacks trying to out-game manage one another between Tennessee and Minny.
No matter how inconsequential the game – even Carolina and Atlanta (wait, is that potentially for first place in a division?) – nothing could match the capacity to bore that Friday’s debate had. Quit the peevishness and start being outright insulting already! Lest we dispatch blind pee wee offensive lineman to chop block the air around your knees.
Tags: open thread, xmas ape
September 28th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Haha that kid is blind
September 28th, 2008 at 10:30 am
That gives new meaning to the term “blind sided blitz”
Hi-yo
September 28th, 2008 at 10:57 am
alright. i laughed. i am a bad person. i am going to hell.
but it as worth it.
September 28th, 2008 at 11:35 am
I don’t know… it’s not as inspiring as the story of the hideously ugly Hooter’s waitress.
September 28th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Dylan, buddy, maybe you should try actually opening your eyes, huh? You think that might help?
September 28th, 2008 at 11:57 am
Matt Millen is already looking for a way to sign tha…. oh wait.
September 28th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
you guys are all stupid.
September 28th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
A big fuck you to CBS for giving us Browns-Bengals… in Philly where no one gives a shit.
September 28th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
That video was so, so wrong…
Can I take the Under in all the early games? Is that an acceptable Parlay?
September 28th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
“I say that you can do anything you can put your mind to it.” -Blind kid
True, but it doesn’t mean you can do it well.
September 28th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I dont have sound on my work computer, so I didnt know he was blind until I read the comments–so I thought it was hiarious. That kid is a better prospect than Sean Considine and Brian Russell combined…
Thats still not gonna stop Coach Bud Kilmer from eating his ass once he makes it to high school.
September 28th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
You ever watch Andy Reid and think it would be hilarious if all he ever talked about was digestive problems?
Well, I tell ya Donovon my asshole’s like one of those tennis ball guns loaded with matzo balls right now. I’m thinking about blindfolding action and seeing if he can pelt them away from his face.
September 28th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Mike Tomlin would be interested in this fellow’s services. And it looks like even a blind offensive lineman can find a cheeseburger once in awhile, eh?
September 28th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
If you squint your eyes just right, “battle of Ohio” looks like “butthole of Ohio.”
September 28th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
I think sold that kid has my old parrot Petey…
September 28th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
I don’t understand. If this is supposed to prove that blind people can play football, why are they showing us a blind person who can’t play football?
September 28th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
I only made it to the first play with the blind kid and then I started laughing and then I had to turn it off because it was so wrong which somehow made it funnier which made me feel worse…
How do the kids on the other team feel? Who wants to tackle a blind kid?
September 28th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Yep, and if you squint just right ‘The Battle of the Bays’ looks like “The Battle of the Gays’.
-Jeff Garcia dissaproves this comment-
September 28th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
You know that voice that tells you might have gone too far? Maybe.
September 28th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Almost forgot: could a quantum black hole pass through the stadium and wipe out not just the Browns and the Bengals, but their fans as well.
/too far?
September 28th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
It is perfectly OK to laugh at this kid.
See you all soon,
§
September 28th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
BTW-
Jeff Garcia is Brady Quinns FAGGOTS ANONYMOUS sponsor
September 28th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Are the Brets wearing throwback Titans swag? Sweet.
/still dislikes Jets
September 28th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Yet he’d stop the pass rush better then the Steelers line.
September 28th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
The Texans have the whitest offense in the league!
And by ‘whitest’ I mean slow/boring/no rhythm!
/cant dance
September 28th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Wow, I talk shit about Texans and Matty Schaub hits a brother for a TD!
September 28th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
/LUNCH
September 28th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Or Syracuse. But in other news, I have Jest and Cards. Utterly appropriate names as they are taking turns throwing the ball to the other team. Sadly the JEST just scored again; I can almost hear Peter King’s orgasm from here. In Upstate NY. Far away from creepy PK.
September 28th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Really weird homoerotic hug shown on FOX between Favre and Coles.
September 28th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
I too wondered why they used dramatic and sad music to show a boy not tackling anything. Then I thought it can’t be worse than SU’s tackling. Sigh. I need to move on.
September 28th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
IS there anyone Favaro just didn’t touch on the sideline?
September 28th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Horse Balls is 4-9 for 27 yards. Jamal Lewis leads the team with one reception for 9 god damn yards.
Please, Romeo… Call a substitution time out and put in the Gayvior.
September 28th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Fucking Coles, you questionable FUCK.
/kills self for benching him
September 28th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
That’s weird because I love Coles… knew he would do it.
September 28th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
So if the Titans have a real quarterback, however drunk he may be, do you think Justin Gage will finally get some touches this week. My recieving corps is fucking killing me.
September 28th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
That’s weird because I love Coles… knew he would do it.
Yeah, well fuck you buddy
September 28th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
I’ve got Coles on my team. MUHAHAHAHAHA.
@Drew: was that your voiceover on the 1st vid?
September 28th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
4 Denver turnovers, Culter has thrown two picks. Hey you non sugar eatting fuck, why dont you hit your TE running down the middle WHO IS WIDE THE FUCK OPEN on the play action instead of Marshall who is double covered.
September 28th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Matt Bryant for Meast of the Week. There’s no competition.
September 28th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
@BDD,
He’s the only reason my brain is still intact after that Vikes game.
September 28th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Where am I ? What universe is this? KC won. And the Bills are fighting hard against THE RAMS? Where the hell am I?
September 28th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
@Boatdrinks,
Bills definitely came to play in the second half. Also, Trent Green is fucking awful.
September 29th, 2008 at 12:56 am
Wrong. Just. Plain. Wrong.
September 29th, 2008 at 2:16 am
1:19 mark. Too bad that kid will never get to see his hilarious video.