There’s a slew of fair-to-middling-to-piddling games filling the early slate, highlighted by the epic showdown of winless Ohio teams. Brady Quinn hopes to beard the Bengals in its den, hopefully with his beard in attendance. Then there’s the ever-tantalizing dual of journeymen quarterbacks trying to out-game manage one another between Tennessee and Minny.

No matter how inconsequential the game – even Carolina and Atlanta (wait, is that potentially for first place in a division?) – nothing could match the capacity to bore that Friday’s debate had. Quit the peevishness and start being outright insulting already! Lest we dispatch blind pee wee offensive lineman to chop block the air around your knees.