Cowboys Capture the Heart of TIXAS!

So long as it doesn’t give out.

Or you can do it right.

And you don’t spawn this.

And, uh, DeSean is a tard.

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29 Responses to “Cowboys Capture the Heart of TIXAS!”

  1. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    I’m going to bed and dreaming of a massive brawl between Cowboys and Redskins cheerleaders…

  2. twoeightnine Says:

    Also tarded? These guys.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7Dk4b1S2zA

  3. ProbablyJason Says:

    Well this thread got off to a wonderful start

  4. Spatula Says:

    DeSean Jackson did not successfully masturbate the ball down the field.

  5. King Stevie Says:

    Yuh-k, but I’m still waiting on that Marmalard post. Between the interception that wasn’t but was, LT’s pussiness reaching a Paul Piercian level, Diabeetus’ fumble and the defense getting raped without Merriman, at least one mutha fuckin’ door must’a flown open.

    On topic: Even though they scored on that drive, Reid should’ve made Jackson get down on fours and kicked him in the gut. Then forced him to wipe the fat-man sweat from his taint. Fucking fucktard fuck.

    / had McNabb going in fantasy league this week

  6. Shoopmonster Says:

    I already put this in the previous post, but alas this post is far more relevant. DeSean Jackson cost me one fantasy game and potentially another because of his replaying of a fucking Al Bundy move. Asshole. McNabb loss of TD (-4) and a Westbrook TD by my opponent (+6) = me being fucked. Die a slow, horrible, painful death caused by botulism.

  7. foxxy brown Says:

    in the spirit of hispanic heritage night -

    vete a la chingada vaqueros

    you too DeSean

  8. Steelers 08' Says:

    What an asshole. Just like all the obnoxious jerk-ass Filthadelphia fans. The Steelers are going to smack DeSean and McNabb right in the mouth and Fast Wille’s going to shove the ball right up their ass.

  9. Tyler Durden Says:

    Ahem,

    HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS ?

    On a more serious note - the defense couldn’t stop traffic with a sign and a red light. And Brian Westbrook. Have Defensive coordinators NOT figured out that this guy is like, GOOD? I seriously considered taking him in the first round of my fantasy draft.

    Thank the stars no gratuitous Jessica Simpson (clothed) shots.

  10. Boatdrinks Says:

    Oh dear freaking god, I hope that asswipe gets beat upon.

  11. theGrantimal Says:

    DeShaun Jackson put more thought into his Tyler Perry dance moves than he did about holding onto the damn ball. It was like watching a House of Payne promo in the middle of a drive

  12. shake n bake Says:

    Why are the fast ones always retarded? Are IQ and 40 time inversely related?

  13. shake n bake Says:

    Or directly since a lower 40 time is better. I clearly run fast.

  14. SonOfDad Says:

    I see nothing wrong with what that fine young man did.

    /Westbrook owner

  15. Christmas Ape Says:

    I must echo the point of SonOfDad. All praises for Westbrook!

    Until next week.

  16. Johnny Damon's Laser Rocket Arm Says:

    Hey, I thought Big Daddy Balls was a Vikings fan. What is he doing with Cowboy tats on both forearms, a junior Orton-like neckbeard, and rocking a T.O. jersey? Didn’t take you long to bail on Terrible Jackson’s bandwagon did it Drew?

  17. John Says:

    Was that kid wearing a zubaz hat?

  18. senor mullet Says:

    @289: i often intentionally miss slapping high 5s to hit someone in the face

  19. Pip Says:

    That rookie is dumb as hell and I expect we are seeing TO 2.0, the NFL will grow to regret this man.

  20. Upstate Underdog Says:

    What kind of father allows his son to paint his face?

  21. Rob You Says:

    I would’ve lost a fantasy game on Jackson’s fucktarded play, if I didn’t also have Westbrook on my team.

    But yeah, what an idiot. I’m betting he goes pointless next week.

  22. Christmas Ape Says:

    How did Morgan Spurlock get those great seats next to the kid?

  23. jackin'4beats Says:

    Dallas DEF figured it out in the 2nd half. Cowboys outscored them 17-7 after giving up 23 points in the 1st half. The other 7 game from Romo’s stupid ass fumble in the endzone. And Westbrook is good, glad the Boys were able to pull it out at the end.

    /still believes Romo is a goddamn supadupastar
    //Pacman still ain’t down wit playin’ hard though

  24. Ocho Cinco Fan Club Says:

    jackin: his name is adam “not pacman” jones

  25. Spum Says:

    Why the fuck is George Clooney hanging out with the asshole in the blowup helmet?

  26. Horseballs Fan Says:

    How do you kids get such good screen shots of the game?

    Is there some new TV out that takes a picture and sends it to this blog?

  27. the ron Says:

    youre an idiot, desean is a kid, he made a rookie mistake, and mind you burned the entire dalllas secondary in the pro-cess, live and learn b*tches

  28. Daniel Snyder's Bongwater Says:

    When are you Beagle fans gonna learn to shut your stupid fucking frankencock swallowing mouths. When you actually WIN a Superbowl then and only then can you talk smack…and personally I love this De-turd Jackson but alas I’m sure Donavan (I choked in the Superbowl) McNabb will run him out of town by next year. They should get De-turd to study the way a real TD is scored by having him watch T.O.’s first score. That’s the way it’s done.

  29. Daniel Snyder's Bongwater Says:

    Yeah…that’s right…you know it’s true!

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