BREAKING NEWS: Mort Reports Merriman Is Done
ESPN’s Chris Mortensen just reported live on SportsCenter that Shawne Merriman’s season is over and he’s ready to have reconstructive surgery on his fucked up knee.
From what I understand, this means that Merriman will be in uniform on Sunday. Good news, Charger fans!
Tags: chris mortensen, Mort makes up stories for attention, Shawne Merriman, Unsilent Majority
September 9th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Well if ESPN broke it, from what I understand it means that somebody else reported if first.
September 9th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
First Brady goes down, now Shawne.
You can’t take away both consensual AND non-consensual sex!
September 9th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
He is no longer a Merry Man.
September 9th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
I knew it. All the steroids Merriman has been taking over the last couple years have been to help him recover from this injury. It’s called preventative medicine
September 9th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
Where was Bernard Pollard this week? Was he in San Diego?
When he’s done with Merriman, can he judo chop Mort in the throat? PLEASE!!!
September 9th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
So I should start San Diego’s defense then?
September 9th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Seriously, you guys are batting 1.000 today. I got a new job and can’t comment during the day anymore, so I had to look away from the Tommy Sr while eating dinner so I wouldn’t choke to death laughing. “God” was equally funny.
September 9th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
but what does Marmalard think of this?
September 9th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Why the hell would KSK give credit to Mort for this report when it was first reported (like EVERYTHING is) by Jay Glazer. Jay Glazer : Vince Carter :: Mort : Frederic Weis
September 9th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Ok, definitely cancel or suspend the season now.
September 9th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Chris Mortensen reports Tom Brady’s latest injury “just a big fake-out by Belichick and Brady”, dismisses pictures of Brady screaming in agony with bones poking through the skin as photoshopped.
September 9th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Shoulda been you,–
No, actually, it’s perfect that it’s Merriman. Rehabbing during the season is much smarter than having the surgery before the season and maybe being able to contribute. Fucking doctors, what do they know?
September 9th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
What’s the over/under on ‘games played by an effective Shawne for the remainder of his career?’
September 9th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
No Tawmmy and no Shawne? NOOOOO.
Oh wait, we still have Wade and Jerry.
September 9th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Maybe Tommy fackin’ Brady and Lights Out can rehab together?
September 9th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
@ Monkey Business:
Don’t be afraid, Marmalard can keep him company through his surgery and rehab.
September 9th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
This has the potential to be the greatest NFL season ever. As long as the Raiders never play another game all year. That was AGONY.
September 9th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
Charger Fans should blame Merriman for no pass rush on the final drive. Think his replacement could have done better?
September 9th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
I guess the Chargers will win the Super Bowl now.
September 9th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Holy Shit.. I love KSK…
Seriously, how can my Cowboys not win the fucking super bowl now? I literally already have tickets to Tampa.
September 9th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
First the poster boy for unwed/unfit fathers. second, vince young? now, the rapist.
ray lewis, watch out. murderers can’t be too far down on this list of god’s knee hitlist.
September 10th, 2008 at 1:48 am
After one week, power is tilting in the NFC’s favor. Go Saints!
September 10th, 2008 at 3:06 am
I second this cancel the season motion
Seriously, can’t the fucking Seahawks go 1 week without losing someone for the season?
September 10th, 2008 at 8:33 am
@Cat Eating Alien: Well, the Seahawks did lose to the new favorite in the AFC East. I believe they’ve commandeered the Huskies’ WR corp to start this week.
September 10th, 2008 at 9:48 am
I’m now predicting a Colts-Steelers AFC Championship. Cowboys-Saints NFC Championship.
Colts over Cowboys. Pacman ain’t down wid it.
September 10th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Jay Glazer can jump over Chris Mortenson?
September 10th, 2008 at 11:03 am
Moving down the douchebag list, I see . . . Ah, you’re right on time, Mr. Romo. We’re a little thin on season-ending knee injuries right now, but we can offer you a throwing shoulder or, oh, we have a lovely neck injury that I really think you’d enjoy.
September 10th, 2008 at 11:46 am
No way the Colts beat the Cowboys in the SB. They lost to THE BEARS! With NECKBEARD as starting QB. I think that’s all that needs to be said about that.