Drew Brees: Uh oh, guys! Hurricane’s coming!

Marques Colston: Aw, shit. Not again!

Scott Fujita: Another season in turmoil!

Reggie Bush: So many displaced citizens!

Jeremy Shockey: So when does the raping start?

Devery Henderson: Yo, that’s some fucked up shit.

Jeremy Shockey: That’s what I thought happens when hurricanes come through the bayou. People have a bunch of king cake and rape the shit out of each other. That’s the only reason I agreed to this trade.

[Shockey smashes storefront window]

I’m finding, not looting!

Mark Brunell: And when does the blaming the destruction on the city on the sins of the Big Easy start? There was just a big homofestival of homosexuals right before Gustav came rolling into town. That makes for good evangelizin’!

A lesbian comedian caused this!

Hurricane Gustav: ‘ow dare vous eee-vacuatre zis city before I kin commence with wreaking zee havoc! Geet back from your sheethole in Indianapol-ees. Geaux and show some balls, les Saints, vous bunch of filth-zy Mohammedians! I’ll tear vous Supairedome leem from leem!

Levees: /reinforced

Gustav: Aaaaiieeee! I sur-ren-daire!