18-Year-Old Pats Cheerleader Becca vs. Jenn Sterger. WHO YA GOT?
NFL analysts were denied the geyser of man-love they were going to let loose with the first of the now forestalled Brady-Favre showdowns to take place this Sunday. Instead, they’re dealt the slightly less epic Cassel-Favraro contest. Luckily, we at KSK were able to find more compelling matchups: those on the sidelines. No, not fucking Belichick and Mangini - no one cares whether they shake their shit-encrusted hands after the game. We’re talking the gratuitous eye candy!
Rebecca Lucas____________________Jenn Sterger
Age
18 years old____________________24 years old
Age of breasts
18 years_____________________4 years
Extent of Education
High school______________Florida State grad, so… middle school
Creepy stalker
Tawmmy from Quincy________________Brent Musburger
Favorite player on team
Tom Brady (sad trombone sound)_______________Whichever one ponys up for the abortion
Represents fanbase because
She’s white_____________________She’s swimming with disease
Judging from the picture, she supports
Barack Obama_________________Brown neckties
Finishing move
Getting married so she’s alluring to Belichick___________Writing a horrible Jets preview on Deadspin
Tags: sexy friday, who ya got?, xmas ape
September 12th, 2008 at 8:44 am
Too early in the morning for me to click an Urban Dictionary link.
September 12th, 2008 at 8:48 am
Sterger, I prefer brunettes over bolondes. Especially blonde Patriot fans.
September 12th, 2008 at 8:53 am
Ape, your obsession with all things Pats is officially getting creepy
September 12th, 2008 at 8:53 am
The brown necktie link is not helping me get over my hangover.
September 12th, 2008 at 8:58 am
I usually use the brown necktie as my finishing move after I’ve finished the Kansas Tuxedo.
September 12th, 2008 at 8:59 am
The Brown Necktie is going to haunt my nightmares for weeks.
I guess I’ll take Lucas. Teenagers and Patriot fans irritate me and I’ve generally no use for blonds, but Sterger looks like she was assembled entirely from items purchased at a Kragen Auto Parts. You can actually see were they bolted the airbags to the chassis.
September 12th, 2008 at 9:01 am
Obsession with what? It’s a game of the week feature.
September 12th, 2008 at 9:08 am
I’ll just choose a Sussman here…
mmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttttttttttt
September 12th, 2008 at 9:08 am
Fuck, I meant Ufford
its too early
September 12th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Ahhhh, the brown necktie. AKA the “Muddy Warren Moon jersey”.
September 12th, 2008 at 9:17 am
I need a better picture of the cheerleader to make a call here.
And, I know that they’re fake as can be, but I just…. can’t….. resist them tatties.
September 12th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Having met Sterger personally (I go to free shoe university) I can safely say she actually thinks her role as a “Seminole cowgirl” was somehow an important role on the team, when really all it meant was being on the receiving end of a brown necktie from Xavier Lee
September 12th, 2008 at 9:24 am
TDub - added a link to more pics of the Pats cheerleader
September 12th, 2008 at 9:29 am
You had me at ‘18′.
September 12th, 2008 at 9:29 am
@ Ape,
Clicked on the link, and I’m prepared to give my decision, if the defendant will please rise.
Lucas has a fantastic body, but her face makes her look like she’s about 32. It must be from chainsmoking Parliments and getting smacked around by Tawmee after bar close.
September 12th, 2008 at 9:32 am
I choose option C - the chick in the picture with Rebecca.
September 12th, 2008 at 9:34 am
Call me when Jenn Sterger hits the “unintentionally/intentionally released sex video” portion of her alleged fame arc.
September 12th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Well played Last Dragon…well played.
September 12th, 2008 at 9:38 am
The one on the left looks like she likes Lysol cans in the rear. Right up my alley.
September 12th, 2008 at 9:46 am
The guy with Lucas sitting on his lap in the link is begging to be featured on hotchickswithdouchebags.com
September 12th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Vacuous 24 year old vs. vacuous 18 year old…
Down! Goes! Sterger!
September 12th, 2008 at 9:48 am
I’m glad you put breast age - I always prefer breasts and breast display cases to be the same age.
September 12th, 2008 at 9:49 am
Still a bit old for John Mark Karr.
September 12th, 2008 at 9:51 am
Ape, your obsession with all things Pats is officially getting creepy
if you think apes obsession is creepy…i may just have to commit myself
September 12th, 2008 at 9:54 am
Homer vote: Becca! Jenn’s piece on Deadspin was truly horrible.
September 12th, 2008 at 9:54 am
also, why is she sitting on the lap of…..Juron Van Der Sloot
September 12th, 2008 at 9:57 am
Can I combine them into a slutty-but-hot 42-year-old with fake tits who would treat my schlong like it was made of chocolate and commitment while at the same time not attempting to sound intelligent?
September 12th, 2008 at 10:00 am
I’ll take the one Tom Brady hasn’t fucked, which I guess is neither.
September 12th, 2008 at 10:10 am
Being a Jets fan, I’m excited with our new future Hall-of-Fame QB and our new future Hall-of-Fame whore. And to think, Jets fans thought they’d be shouting “Show your tits!” to Peter King all year!
September 12th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Oh, and I love how she put this in her preview: “but I have little doubt that they will make the playoffs. That’s something Jets fans haven’t seen in a while.”
Uh, 2006?
September 12th, 2008 at 10:16 am
I think the current theme we have going here is: the smartst thing to ever come out of Jenn Sterger’s mouth was a penis, and going to the same school as her, it’s not saying a lot.
September 12th, 2008 at 10:21 am
Too early in the morning for me to click an Urban Dictionary link.
Sadly, I came to that realization only after clicking on it.
September 12th, 2008 at 10:22 am
Being a Jets fan, I’m excited with our new future Hall-of-Fame QB
I’m sure he’ll go into Canton as a Jet. Just like Montana went in as a Chief.
September 12th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Brown necktie is the nastiest thing to be introduced here since lemonparty.org [NSFB] or the alternative definition of a “bear”.
Hats off.
September 12th, 2008 at 10:31 am
“I’m sure he’ll go into Canton as a Jet. Just like Montana went in as a Chief.”
And just like Wade Boggs went to Cooperstown as a Devil Ray.
September 12th, 2008 at 10:36 am
real tits > fake tits
September 12th, 2008 at 10:49 am
The Pats Cheerleader, because (1) I’m a Pats fan (in a Red Sox town…), (2) hot chicks from New England are hard to come by (though I’ll grant that blubber makes the winter easier to deal with), (3) she’s more relevant, and (4) Jenn Sterger’s pupils tell me the sad story of how she sold her soul for a new pair of titties.
September 12th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Very nice way to start off sexy Friday.
September 12th, 2008 at 10:59 am
Being from FSU and knowing all things redneck obsessed from that area, Sterger typed up ‘Jew York’ in her write up until someone had to point it out to her that it isn’t polite to be anti-semitic in written form. That said, she probably hums on balls like no other.
September 12th, 2008 at 11:16 am
You know, I’m just not prepared to break in another 18 year old. Sure, they’re fun and don’t ask for much, but they have so much to learn, and I just don’t have the patience for that.
On the other hand, Sterger has probably seen more dick than a dildo factory.
My hatred of all things Pats is the dealbreaker. I go with Sterger, if only so the guys at Gate D can chant “T-I-T-S! TITS! TITS! TITS!” all season.
On a related note, this is the creepeist thing I’ve ever written. Not even close to the creepiest thing I’ve ever thought though.
September 12th, 2008 at 11:27 am
I’m going with Jenn. From the neck up, the other one looks about 35. Not that there’s anything wrong with 35, but when you’re 18, you shouldn’t look like you could be your own mom. I agree with whoever said that the chick in the picture with her is hotter. Plus, Jenn’s boobs are only 4 years old!
I have no idea what a brown necktie is, don’t wanna know. I really, really don’t. I’m assuming that it’s pretty fucking bad, if it has the word “brown” in it.
September 12th, 2008 at 11:27 am
Meteor.
however, Becca’s ass could have written a better Jets preview. no doubt.
September 12th, 2008 at 11:48 am
@Slash: Cleveland fans concur.
Sadly.
September 12th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Sterger because the other white chick is just not that impressive. But if I had to choose between Sterger and this piece of ass, then Sterger’s got no chance.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
real or fake tits > no tits
Do you wear a brown necktie to a rusty trombone party? Or is that the parting gift?
Jenn: Excuse me, my eyes are up here!
Me: I know where your eyes are. If you want me to look at them, put them on your tits! That’s where I’m staring.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
technically speaking, technically the pat’s cheerleader’s boobs aren’t that much older. It’s not like she sprang fully formed (and boobed) out of the forehead of her Dad. they may be o-naturelle, but they’ve only been around for like 6 years tops. 6 glorious up until now jailbait-y years.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
technically speaking, technically the pat’s cheerleader’s boobs aren’t that much older. It’s not like she sprang fully formed (and boobed) out of the forehead of her Dad.
This is true, but makes the Jenn-Sterger-has-really-fake-tits joke lose a little oomph.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
RE BeaniesBigToe Says:
September 12th, 2008 at 11:48 am
@Slash: Cleveland fans concur. Sadly.
I knew there was a Cleveland joke in there, but figured I’d let someone else make it. KSK never disappoints.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
@Slash:
As any Browns fan can attest, much like that dog food (prescient!) that makes its own gravy, Browns joke make themselves.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
“technically speaking, technically the pat’s cheerleader’s boobs aren’t that much older. It’s not like she sprang fully formed (and boobed) out of the forehead of her Dad.”
Well look at mistah “I know science an’ shit”. BeccAAAAAAAAAAH wins becaws Bastin wins at every leval. NO ONE DENIES THIS!
*drinks 10 more breakfast beers*
September 12th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
not pictured (on left): homeless black man in wheelchair
September 12th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
I’ll take the one Tom Brady hasn’t fucked, which I guess is neither.
brady’s not wasting his time on these two.
i’ll take the 18 year old. there’s pretty much no way that can end badly, right?
September 12th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Here’s a simple formula in deciding between the two: attempt to have a conversation with both separately and time how long it takes for thoughts of murder/suicide to arise. Then, pick the one with the longer time.
September 12th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
“Here’s a simple formula in deciding between the two: attempt to have a conversation with both separately and time how long it takes for thoughts of murder/suicide to arise. Then, pick the one with the longer time.”
I’ve alway found liquor to solve that nasty “conversation” problem.
September 12th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
“Here’s a simple formula in deciding between the two: attempt to have a conversation with both separately and time how long it takes for thoughts of murder/suicide to arise. Then, pick the one with the longer time.”
In the middle of the conversation, just pull your cock out. The one who responds the fastest with “OOOHH, is that for me?” wins. If that doesn’t work, then whichever one doesn’t laugh is the keeper.
September 12th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
i’d gladly fuck either one of them, as long as i didn’t have to hear them talk
September 14th, 2008 at 10:03 am
Nothing at all wrong with Jennifer. Nada. http://njfrogman.blogspot.com/2008/09/jennifer-sterger-bob-mantz-complete.html
September 21st, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Easy call, given Becca is a hottie from my home town. Yum!