NFL analysts were denied the geyser of man-love they were going to let loose with the first of the now forestalled Brady-Favre showdowns to take place this Sunday. Instead, they’re dealt the slightly less epic Cassel-Favraro contest. Luckily, we at KSK were able to find more compelling matchups: those on the sidelines. No, not fucking Belichick and Mangini – no one cares whether they shake their shit-encrusted hands after the game. We’re talking the gratuitous eye candy!

Contestants

Rebecca Lucas____________________Jenn Sterger

Age

18 years old____________________24 years old

Age of breasts

18 years_____________________4 years

Extent of Education

High school______________Florida State grad, so… middle school

Creepy stalker

Tawmmy from Quincy________________Brent Musburger

Favorite player on team

Tom Brady (sad trombone sound)_______________Whichever one ponys up for the abortion

Represents fanbase because

She’s white_____________________She’s swimming with disease

Judging from the picture, she supports

Barack Obama_________________Brown neckties

Finishing move

Getting married so she’s alluring to Belichick___________Writing a horrible Jets preview on Deadspin