THE AFTERLIFE — The late Gene Upshaw has been as active as ever.
Even after suddenly abandoning his post as former NFL Players Association presiden, Upshaw has taken a new position in the NFL’s labor battle. He’s now spearheading an effort to increase benefits for deceased NFL players.
“It’s high time that some of those dead players saw that money,” Upshaw said. “I know the money’s there, because I saw it and didn’t give it to anyone else.”
Upshaw points out that deceased players that played less than three years in the league currently receive a annual pension of $0, while those who played three years or more receive a payment of $0 per year.
“That’s despicable,” Upshaw said. “How’s a dead man supposed to live on zero dollars?”
The League’s ownership seems to be resistant toward Upshaw’s efforts.
“While I’m sympathetic to the various needs of dead players,” Patriots owner Robert Kraft said, “The money simply isn’t there. And secondly, lots of dead players are getting by on what the Players’ Association currently provides.”
Upshaw conceded that organizing the tens of thousands of deceased NFL players will be difficult.
“We’re not going to let these players just rot away, not while all the living players are earning millions. We’re going to get organized and we’re going to knock on the NFL’s door and get what we feel is rightfully ours.”
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was not available for comment.



it is by not buy fyi
i disapprove of this
Anytime…Brah
saying brah identifies you as an idiot. good game though.
Maybe you should take a course in sarcasm and funny you sorry jackass. And try prying that dick out of your ass before you make a comment ya ankle grabbah.
Thanks for having my back Spanky.
@ j 4stupidity
Not recognizing a respected commenter’s play on a SERIES of posts indentifies you as an idiot. Brah, eat a bag of brahs (and shift keys)!
That would be redundant, methinks.
Has the tag ‘Punter is going to hell’ ever been used?
saying brah identifies you as an idiot. good game though.
Wow, brah, just wow. Funny though.
I can’t believe Al Davis outlived him.
Davis has been dead since 1994. They’re just doing a Weekend at Bernie’s thing with him.
Upshaw’s also working with Pete Rozelle to get benefits for formerly living NFL executives. Something about a cold day in Hell.
Seriously though, good post.
IZ FRIDAY!!! BRING ON TEH SEXY!!!!!11!!!!!!!!1
well done.
I hope he has better luck negotiating a CBA with Satan than he did up here.
This should be a lesson to all those whining disabled ex NFL players. You could be dead, how’d that be? Now crawl across the room and wash down that oxycontin with Nyquil.
Evil. And solid.
nice onion ripoff.
I can’t believe Al Davis outlived him.
Beware the Zombie Gene Upshaw.
Too soon?
dude…well played.
Geez Punte, that’s just… unlikely.