OUT OF AFRICA

From IMDB: Won 7 Oscars. Another 22 wins & 17 nominations ……the most blatant example of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” Syndrome I’ve ever seen……..If you don’t appreciate it, you’re obviously not sophisticated…….BITE ME!

Worst experience of my life was trying to sit through this boring self-indulgant piece of monkey shit. I think whenever a movie is referred to as “a film”…it’s time to start running the other way.

On the other hand, Tombstone remains a classic and I quote Doc, “It seems like he’s an educated man, now I’m sure I hate him.”
/twirls cup in provacative ways

Blue Velvet. That had to be the vilest friggin’ movie ever. Here we are czechin’ out the great rave reviews and pop cult worship status, go to watch it at the house, and sat on the couch bored to damned tears. Ugh. David Lynch, You. Suck. Dog. Balls.

Yes, I saw this peice of trash. And no, I didnt get laid. The criteria for the selection indicate that it has to have more than 5 stars on IMDB.com and this one has almost 8. I hate this movie with the passion of a thousand burning suns. Ohhhh but its sooo cuuuteeee~~
No, ladies, no its not. And the sooner you realize that the entire plot is a farce and that it has nothing to do with the way love,actually happens, the better off you are going to be.

If we were going to make it “actually”, it would have had a vignette of two hammered people meeting in a bar, fucking like rabbits, regretting not using a condom in the morning, and finding out that they have the same doc when they both get tested. Ah romance. But no- we get some old dude and his 8 year old son talking candidly about sex (what? how is that appropriate?) Hugh Grant dancing (OH MY GOD HES DANCING! ISNT THAT HILARIOUS!??) and some woman who cant get laid because she has a retarded brother (that one might be accurate, actually).

In the end, its clear that this movie was emotional pornography for women. It hit every stereotyped overdone romantic cliche all in one sitting. It was written solely to make women weep, sigh heavily (awwwww), and their uterus ache for some sort of male figure to maybe promise to be as effeminate as possible as portrayed in the film. Devoid of any clear commentary on love and relationships this movie is more fantasy than reality and deserves to be shot into space. Fuck Hugh Grant.

Two for the Money?
Accepted?
Scary Movie?

Some of the dumbest dialogue I’ve ever witnessed onscreen.

I’ll take your word for that. I avoided it mostly because I’m sick of Beyonce getting shoved down my throat every time I turn around. I was kinda happy that chubby black chick won the Oscar instead of Beyonce. I don’t even give a shit about the Oscars, but I’m beginning to enjoy the disappointment rich famous people feel when they don’t get one.

Matrix 2 – NYaaah. It was “ok”.

Matirx 3 – Wrapped up NOTHING and when it was over I turned around to two dudes sitting behind me and went – “WTF was THAT” ? (BEst part was the final battle scene)

Proof positive that getting a sex change operation is not conducive to finishing what could’ve been a great trilogy.

Look, it’s a pop culture reference in a fairy tale world, how hilarious!