[Park Slope, Brooklyn. Interior of a news stand]
Okay… need something for a little beach reading. What to get? What to get what to get what to get.
Maxim? Come now, I graduated college. And I want something touting football on the cover.
Men’s Vogue? Eli’s on the cover. Nah, too gay.
Hey, Tom Brady’s on Esquire? Hmmm… not quite gay enough.
Ah-HA!
Goddammit James Franco is fucking se– I MEAN, 73 THINGS ABOUT FOOTBALL?!?! All right! GRRR, this will be great to read in between sets at the gym!!! Page 292, it says right here! That’s the where the football is!
/flips through magazine
Finally, I’ve made it through all those annoying fashion ads. Why, if the Men’s Wearhouse doesn’t have $2000 dollar dinner jackets, I hardly think I need one. These fat shirtless painted men in cutoff stone-washed denim are much more my style. GRRR TOUCHDOWN!
/puts on reading monocle
Say, what’s this?
Why, I’ve never read such libel! Drew doesn’t run the site! He’s merely responsible for forty percent of the content and all of the popular posts!
“Insightful”? Ha! And “soft-core”? Clearly, sir, you’ve never read our Peter King fan fiction. It doesn’t get any less soft than that.
But the worst slight of all? Leaving our photo shoot on the cutting room floor.
I wore my nicest jeans and everything!
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/horizontal-shower-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/belichick-sweats-150x150.jpg)
really …. thanx
are you really wearing a short-sleeved button down shirt? why not just put on a tube top and get it over with?
also, what the hell is that in your shirt pocket? glasses?
I cropped my roommate out to spare him the commenters’ wrath.
>>roommate<<
Hey, whatever you guys call yourselves these days is okay. “Roommates,” Civil Partners,” po-ta-to, po-tah-to, amirite?
/Just kidding, you sexy bastard. We can throw all the gay jokes at you in the world, but when a group of dudes get catty for hours about another dude’s footwear/clothing selection… I’m pretty sure that’s gay.
I think my sister has those flip flops and ripped jeans
4. Additional tag: Journoporn.
Couple clarifications:
1. Anyone who calls flip-flops “mandals” has never been to California. It’s acceptable summer footwear. Period.
2. It’s not a Glamour Shot. I cropped my roommate out to spare him the commenters’ wrath.
3. That Coke was used to chase a couple pints of JD before a concert in Central Park.
Hey–there’s a typo—isn’t ir supossed to be Cunte?
I’m disappointed that Mr. Military wasn’t rocking the camouflaged shorts with those man-tastic sandals.
/agrees with wormfather that the GQ coverage may inundate us with extra doucebaggery around here.
Congrats, brahs.
And all of you badmouthing the mandal can have a hearty cup of go fuck yourselves
CC – my roommate just took a glance at you and said if you come to Seattle, she’ll take you out.
Is that Diet Cherry Coke?
i think, for we few female commenters, this is as good as sexy friday is gonna get for us.
thanks cc.
yes
Jesus, nice Facebook profile picture CC. Can’t hate on the mandals, but I at least hope you had a coupon for those American Eagle jeans. Oh, and check plus on the Barbara Walters’ soft focus filter.
I was thinking around the mouth claude, but on his back seems to fit too.
And by “icing on the cake,” you mean “semen on his back,” right?
Jesus cave, hows your faggot? haha
Great, there goes the neighborhood. Look out for the new “fashion-forward” readership, guys and gal.
Hang on to your coulottes!
What sad is everyone’s picking on the sandals when it’s the shirt being unbuttoned half way down his chest and the jeans with the hole in the knee (which was probably purchased that way, and paid extra for) that make him gay. The white leather sandals are just icing on the cake.
It’s not just the sandals with jeans. A pair of Tevas wouldn’t have been gay. Douchey maybe, but not gay. But those sandals are white. That’s what makes them and CC so gay. What heterosexual male wears white leather sandals? Do they even make those things for men?
I may be asking a stupid question, but since when have the citizens of Boston been good? In any sense of the word? Sorry guys, I’m English and hence ill-informed on the American stereotypes. I also have horrendous teeth and enjoy crumpets at every meal.
Why is there a picture of David Sedaris here? Does he write for KSK now?
Yeah, that isnt cutting it for sexy friday. Fortunately, takeareport (see the link) has outdone themselves this afternoon.
@rocco, to be precise, I’m a douchbag, I pop the colar as a warning.
You do kinda look like a member of Greenpeace, but still hot. Very rowr-worthy.
What’s wrong with sandals on dudes? As long as they’re not pink or have some kind of girly heel, they’re perfectly acceptable hetero wear.
Big fat dudes with body paint, however: unacceptable.
Preach, Naptown. Between May and October I’m almost always wearin’ my flops, with shorts or jeans.
I will never hate on sandals. I have like 3 pairs that I wear constantly during summer. I don’t even bother wearing shoes when it gets this hot. Move out of Greenland, sandal hating fuckers.
I like how the fans tailgating in north Jersey decided to spell out “gat” with their painted chests.
I guess “fuhgeddaboudit” would’ve required too many guys.
What is Clay Aiken’s CD Cover doing on KSK? Anyone? Hello……………..
/unsure of whether to make dick joke or not based on the gayness of that photo.
The Mandelbrot Set > Nelson Mandela > Mandals
Vanilla, the whole thing is at least another hundred pages. Some fall fashion nonsense took up all the non-football news.
Except for one section where they mentioned No Mas. of course it was the shirts, not the blog. but still.
Mmm, how’s that sodee pop?
On an unrelated note – I am making sure I am up at 8am PST to watch the Olympics from now on. Melissa Stark hosts it at that time.
Hmmmmmmmm
Guhh then for fuck’s sake at least spell it right. Man + sandals = M-A-N-D-A-L-S, not “mandles.”
Sorry, boys. Former English teacher and all.
Dear Mr. Lovell, I believe you have plaguerized me in your comedic pluralizing of the word “internet” as I am the first to ever do this. Unless of course this is simply just another example of your obviously poor grammatical skills (see Monday Morning Punte[sic]). Furthermore, the correct expression is “interwebs,” yes, “interwebs.” Of course I wouldn’t expect a rapscallion publishing chicanery in something called “Gentleman’s Quarterly” to pick up on such subtleties anyhow.
/takes gay-ass mcsweeney’s shit elsewhere
Sandals and shorts? Check.
Sandals and pants? Hell to the naw!
Velcro up, mandles down
If Julia Child could be a spy for OSS, then Matt can be a neo-hippie commune infiltrator. That’s not too much of a stretch right? Anyone? OK, bring on the T&A.
The “heat of the moment” requires the sort of traction mandles can ‘t provide. A man needs purchase.
292 pages? That’s not a magazine that’s a freakin’ book! Does Drew’s new book even have that many pages?
@Wormfather: Did you go to Deerfield or Choate too? That’s not black you’re preppy.
I must say I’m surprised by all the hating on male sandals around here. I think they’re cute. Not to mention easier to kick off in the heat of the moment. What’s not to like?
I have a number of friends in the Marines, and they ALL dress exactly like that in their off time. Was there some secret government operative to invade neo-hippie communes that we were unaware of? My tax dollars were NOT intended for mandles!
Oh.. wait.. just saw Ufford. Yep, super gay.
Fuck, now you guys are mainstream. It’s gonna be like deadspin around here.
@eddiebear my colar is currently (always popped) but I’m black and from CT, I’m allowed to do everything…including white chicks.
Notice the Coke bottle strategically positioned to cover up his obviously impressive junk. Modesty is so becoming on you, Captain Caveman.
You call that gay?
Pussies.
“Guzzle cock, fucktasters”
Somehow I wish that line could be said by the losing presidential candidate in his final speech. Then I’d know KSK had reached the levels of Hemingway and Tennyson and Stern (Howard, not Daniel).
God damn that is one sexy cheerleader. I am printing that out so I can caress it.
CC, did you wear thos jeans while fighting in Iraq and I’m guessing you’re wearing flip flops to show off your pedicure.
I’m still waiting on my ex making a cheerleader post appearance. Does Arena league count?
if you guys are number 21 than nos. 22-73 must have been some real pieces of crap
good work
Man-tits (painted or otherwise) are wholly unacceptable on Sexy Friday.
Kissing Suzy Kolber- The site for those who want to rape Matt Light but make love to Judith Light
what a bunch of gafs
football =/= comedy? um… that’s the poorest topic sentence I’ve ever heard.
Relax. Cheerleader post coming, you big babies.
“Oh no! I can’t find tits on the internet anywhere else!”
Yeah, you guys need more Rick Ankiel and/or Evan Longoria for Sexy Friday.
the huffington post method of valuing websites has perez hilton’s site worth $335M.
gay for pay all the way!
1 hour and 44 minutes for you guys to get to work and give us our Sexy Friday, please. And where is the line drawn for wearing “mandles”, “man-flops”, etc. Are the $2.50 ones from Old Navy acceptable? With shorts of course. Only the gays wear that shit with pants.
/He didn’t give you gay, did he?
Strongly disagree that this post does not meet the minimum requirements for Sexy Friday.
James Franco? Check? Naked, painted fat men? Check. Semi-bold 14-point Arial in “robin’s-egg blue”? CHECK AND CHECK, baby.
Who’s the gringo at the end, though? Never seen him before.
You guys are almost as famous as Perez Hilton now. And three times as gay.
Congrats guys – paying off reporters with the ad revenue seems to be working. OUTSTANDING WORK!
And jeans with man-flops? That’s just all kinds of gay.
This is the least Sexy Friday ever.
Seriously, congrats on the honor.
I’ve heard there are more individual profiles in the works:
* Monday Morning Punte’s fan fiction in Asian Dominatrix Weekly
* “Ufford Rates the Russians: They’re Pussies!”
* an Unsilent Majority centerfold in Playbubby
* Christmas Ape’s obituary: “Warren Sapp Tramples Amateur Paparazzo”
* flubby’s tribute to e.e. cummings in The San Bernadino Journal of Poetry
* “Breadwiches I Have Known,” by Drew Magary, special for Redbook
“Hey, what’s over there? I hope it’s something to disapprove of.”
Man, if I am going to get fired for looking on Teh Internets at work, it better be for T&A, not auditions for Bravo’s next season of programming.
“Esquire? Nope. Men’s Health? Nah. Hmm, when did GQ start selling mirrors?”
As arguably the worst commenter on this site this is great news. A bunch of douchenozzles from GQ should make my drivel sound like…well, good drivel.
Also, I assume that uproxx blood money was used to bribe the GQ editing team.
/clicks link to Wu-yisouce dot com
Where’s the man purse?
Gee, I thought he’d be whiter.
Matt only posted that picture because he thinks it makes him look like James Franco.
Man-flops? Checkmate.
Nice mandals. Is that a French pedicure?
“Let’s see … Coke? Check. Smile? Check.”