If you don’t want to read me rambling on about fantasy football, feel free to skip straight down to the tits. I won’t mind.
In his recent column, Stephen A. Smith discusses the disparity between whites and blacks when it comes to participating in fantasy football. One of the possible reasons cited was that whites have disproportionate access to better paying jobs and the high-speed internet access that often entails. Perhaps there is some validity to that theory, but I’m not here to talk about race. Talk, by the way, is all we do about race in America. But if it’s any consolation, we talk about it a whole fucking lot.
No my point, and I’m sure you wish I’d get to it and on to the aforementioned tits, is that Smith’s column reminded me of the days lo’ those many years when I started playing fantasy football. A time when a) I was working shitty retail jobs and; b) next to no one had dial-up—let alone high speed—internet access. I remember going to drafts with dozens of index cards and the football issue of “Fantasy Baseball” magazine. If there were any dedicated fantasy football magazine in those days—it never made it out to the hinterlands.
It was in that first draft I witnessed what is still the worst pick I have ever seen or will ever see. First pick of the second round: JEFF FUCKING JAEGER. I still remember the guy smirking indignantly, “He led the league in scoring last season.” A lot of you have drafts coming up this weekend and early next week. Don’t be the Jeff Jaeger Guy. And as you sally forth into the holiday weekend, enjoy yourselves and for God’s sake don’t get any stupid songs stuck in your head.
And now, as promised, the tits…
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Life needs more Fridays :)
-Rich
Girl on far right looks like Cooley-wife.
Absolutely yes x7.
Sexy Friday … meh. I kinda liked Limerick Tuesday!
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/08/i-shall-crimson-your-face-in-a-hue-not-unlike-my-togs.html
@Kimbo Gash
Pat Buchanan, is that you?
Just got back from a 12-team draft. One dude just takes the cake for lousy picks. Here’s his first five rounds (He had the No. 6 pick and the rounds snaked).
1. Darren McFadden RB
2. JT O’Sullivan QB (First QB after Brady, Manning and Homo)
3. Chris Johnson RB
4. Brett Favre QB (THAT idiot? But, but he already has JT O’Sullivan)
5. Lavern Coles WR
6. Felix Jones RB (Not horrible, but sixth round?)
Of course, I picked No. 9 and ended up with the one player I normally hope breaks his leg every week: Tom Brady.
I don’t suppose that steven A ever considered the possibility that the fact that the overwhelming majority of Fantasy players are white is due to the fact that the overwhelming majority of white guys are smart enough to realize that sports areFantasy instead of fucking their lives in every way possible secure in the belief that their first pro contract will make everything right.
You say PacMan, I say Tom Brady.
i think 85 takes it for having the most cumilative stupidity in one draft. LT 2nd and AP 6th? are there stars in the nfl i dont know about?
So far this year I’ve seen Eli Manning taken with the first pick of the third round (with the likes of Palmer and Roethlisberger still available) and the Vikings defense taken with the second pick of the third round.
Unbelievable.
10th pick, first round, 2 years ago: Alge Crumpler. Because the guy who took him thought “Vick is going to have a HUGE year.” He then didn’t take Vick on the way back.
Finish: Dead fucking last.
Where da white wo…
Oh there they are! Me likey.
And twiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins!
@SSF – You have every one of us beat.
Best I can do is from a draft I had a couple days ago. Some dude had the fifth pick overall and selected Ben Rongrastname.
I have some of you beat on the worst pick. I was in a draft a few years ago back in ’03 and I had the 1st overall pick. I was pretty excited and I knew who I was gonna pick (can’t remember now.) So 15 minutes before the draft im setting up my que with some defensive players, and i get done with that. Now my pick comes and I THOUGHT I clicked on the player I wanted, but instead I accidently drafted from my que. I drafted mother fucking Marcus Trufant #1 overall. Oh god I wanted to shoot myself. Marcus fucking Trufant.
Denver defense went second round first pick last year in my draft.
What a hoot!
I got LT at number 2. Purple Heyzeus went 6th. Yeah, 6th.
I have you beat on worst picks ever, someone in my league the first year we did it picked Trent Dilfer (The Tampa Bay Edition) with the 2nd pick in the draft…..
I don’t recall sellecting Jeff Jaeger. By the way I have eliminated the “Smirk” from my “Collection” as you assholes call it. Mad Ups for BIGGS. BIG RED TOMATO.
Last year, fourth overall pick – my friend’s brother gets this really smug looks on his face and then proudly exclaims: “Bernard Berrian!” We’re in a keeper league, so the talent at the top of the draft isn’t that great, but still. Next guy goes, “You’re a fucking idiot. Give me Adrian Peterson.” I love being in a league with Bears fans. Delusional Bears fans, at that.
Jeff Jaeger is a pretty stupid pick to make, but I do have one that rivals it. I was in a forum-based Fantasy league two seasons ago and a guy I detest ended up with pick #1. He spends a couple of days gloating about his plans and shit until the draft officially began, whereupon he selects Reggie Bush.
Reggie Fucking Bush.
With everybody else available, his master plan centres around Reggie Fucking Bush. Suffice it to say he clammed up pretty quickly.
thanks for the T & A, and fuck off for sticking that damn song in my head.
HAPPY LABOR DAY to all!
@ twoeightnine
when did they get the printing press or fancy new english?
Did that first picture come from the Poon Saloon?
Dude, you live in Kentucky. I’m pretty sure you’re still get your news from newspapers.
Delicious, and I can’t get that fucking oh no you didn’t song out of my head either.
I really appreciate the variety on the menu today.
At least that was years ago. I had a draft last week where David Akers went with the last pick of the first round.
Whoa. Tits AND ass? Can you do that?
Like a certain Mr Jones, I am SO down wit dat.
/happy.
Sometimes I really hate the Internet.
AH! Sexy Friday. Now I have to, um, have a conference call with me office door closed.
Yes, Yes, Hell Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, (almost finished) Hell Yes and if the dude in the blue hat doesn’t get out of the way, he may have a new story to tell the other nerds at their FFL draft this weekend!
hooray for sexy friday…finally