Oh My Gad, Barb! That’s Brett’s Plane!


Look, Barb! Look! That’s Brett’s plane! Oh my Gaaad! Look at that! It’s a Cessna! That’s one of those fancy planes, don’t ya know? I bet he knows how to fly it. Kinda like the Red Baaaron, ya know?

Hi, Brett! Hi! We love you! Barb made her famous saaassage pat pie for ya! And a peanut butter oreo cheese melt! Welcome back!

Barb, this has to be one of the best days of my life. Remember when we baaat that couch that reclined at both ends? Or that one time we went to TGI Friday’s? This is way better than that. Listen Barb, I know it’s only seven PM, and we ate our early evening dinner aaat our usual five pm, but you think maybe we could bump our mid-evening dinner to right around now? Seeing Brett coming out of thaaat plane makes me hungry… for a chaaampionship! Can you whip up one of your famous kielbaasa milkshakes for me? Don’t skimp on the frasting, ya know!

No wait. This is a special occasion. I think we need to break out the good Dixie china and have ourselves a special kind of dinner, Barb. That’s right. It’s time for you to cook up your famous gorgonzola-stuffed pig steakloaf. Ya know? The one with the whole pig stuffed with a whole calf stuffed with a prime rib stuffed with meat loaf stuffed with a pork chap? I bet that’s the kinda thing they serve over in Paris, ya know?

Oh my Gad! There’s Brett’s car! Right on the tarmaaac! Look at all the caps surrounding him! I think Brett could be President because so many people care about him!

(starts crying)

Gad, this is just such a great moment. I’m so glad our twelve fat children are here to see this, and to help stir the beer cheese soup! Keep stirrin’, kids! Brett needs our support, ya know? Barb, pass me a piece of that Tombstone pizza sandwich we made, where we put a whole ham steak between two Tombstone pizzas! That’s haaat cuisine!

I’ve never felt so proud to be a Paaacker faan. I hope my daughters all grow up to marry you, Brett! They make a mean Dorito pie!

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41 Responses to “Oh My Gad, Barb! That’s Brett’s Plane!”

  1. Shinons Says:

    peanut butter oreo cheese melt

    Dairy Queen needs to make this a blizzard immediately.

  2. Unsilent Majority Says:

    The one with the whole pig stuffed with a whole calf stuffed with a prime rib stuffed with meat loaf stuffed with a pork chap?

    Drew is making up for missing Friday’s draft.

  3. Jordan Ginsberg Says:

    he starts all 16 games guaranteed

    For the Vikings, you mean?

  4. Monday Morning Punter Says:

    In Paris, they use Brie for the stuffed-pig steakloaf. Or was it Camembert?

  5. devin hester's speech coach Says:

    Have any of you stopped and thought about how many times we are going to have to hear about Brett returning simply for the love of the game after he turned down that $20 million?

    Fuck. Me.

  6. Monday Morning Punter Says:

    –I think it’s a mail plane.

    –How can you tell?

    –Well, didn’t you see its little balls?!?!

  7. Jeff V Says:

    that couch that reclined at both ends

    East –> Mid West

    1980’s barco lounger –> Antique Furniture

  8. Skye Says:

    I’m disappointed that there were not any “don’t you knows” in there. It lacks authenticity to my native Wisconsin ear.

  9. randy Says:

    as drew lets us all in on how he eats during vacation….
    welcome back!

  10. rusrus Says:

    What, no deer jerky?

  11. Hustler of Culture Says:

    It’s time for you to cook up your famous gorgonzola-stuffed pig steakloaf

    You obviously know people in WI….

  12. bfreakin3 Says:

    here in northeast wisconsin (i assume they didnt do this everywhere), they cut into the hall of fame game to show brett’s plane landing. the douchebag tv announcer just kept calling it a piece of history in the making. i had never wished for a car to be rigged to explode on ignition so much in my whole life. I know it’s drew’s thing, but, from the bottom of my heart, FUCK YOU BRETT FAVRE

  13. Animal Mother Says:

    Nice pic of Deanna. What kind of cheese is that pig stuffed with? Fromunda cheese?

  14. UpstateUnderdog Says:

    Is this guys Wisconsin’s equivalent to Tommy in Quinzee?

  15. bfreakin3 Says:

    also, i know that i say ‘ya know?’ quite often, so that stereotype is spot on.

  16. Reggie Bush's Pimp Says:

    Who’s rooting for Brett “The Messiah” Favre to lead the Pack to a 4-12 season? Besides Drew I mean…

    It’d be the wonderful, picture perfect ending to this stupidity. I wonder how many times Chris Bermann and Peter King could say “Brett’s having fun out there” and “he’s playing like a kid” when he’s chucking 4 INTs a game.

  17. ognihs Says:

    fan-fucking-tastic. does this cock gobbler have a name?

  18. Bob Mantz Says:

    He’d be happy that Favre has already WON something this year:

    http://bleacherreport.com/articles/43181-br-exclusive-nys-wafels-dinges-awards-favre-its-1st-monthly-waffle-award

  19. Otto Man Says:

    I had food poising last night, so reading the words “kielbasa milkshake” was probably not in my best interest.

  20. The Last Unitard Says:

    Has anyone seen this month’s Hustler? He’s gotta be asshole of the month. For the past 48 months.

  21. 85 Says:

    Just reading that midwestern accent makes me want to skin a live kitten.

  22. dewey Says:

    It’s funny cuz it’s true…

  23. Justino Says:

    You have Wisconsin confused with upper Michigan.

  24. Cumpidgeon Says:

    I love that faRve is getting all this attention, that way Romo and Jessica fly under the radar…

  25. Hank Scorpio Says:

    Sadly, eugenics caught on in Green Bay and this was the best outcome in Wisconsin.

  26. jackin'4beats Says:

    Welcome back Drew. 2 for 2.

    I hear Madden is on his way to WI to get the recipe for the gorgonzola-stuffed pig steakloaf. Maybe he’ll have it on air during the Thanksgiving Day game from Dallas.

  27. Cheesey Says:

    How about 10,000 pieces of fine cheese (Craft singles): http://www.thepoint.com/campaigns/bring-back-brett-favre

  28. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    here in northeast wisconsin (i assume they didnt do this everywhere), they cut into the hall of fame game to show brett’s plane landing

    Well, you assume wrong. Pretty soon ESPN will start a channel called “Bretty’s current GPS location”

  29. Slash Says:

    K, someone actually televised the landing of a plane containing Brett Favre? Seriously? And people were standing around watching the plane land, like he’s the president or Playboy Playmates landing at Bagram to entertain the troops? And last, what does it say on that dude’s moobs? I assume those are words.

    Also, last night on TV I saw, just by accident while flipping channels, footage of Jerry Jones being punched in the crotch by a small child. True story.

  30. The Rooster Lives Says:

    I am a pretty die hard Packer fan and even I will admit this 24/7 coverage of Favre is getting really fucking old. That being said, I can not wait to see the Packers own the Vikings and “purple Jesus” for another season.

  31. Herschel Walker's Jockstrap Says:

    @BDD - That was a terrible wisconsin accent. It can’t decide whether it’s a mud duck or a flatlander, but is sure as fuck it ain’t from wisconsin. “Saaassage” ??? Nice one, superfan. You are ugly, fat, and your team will never win anything. Ever.

  32. Herschel Walker's Jockstrap Says:

    But you already knew that.

  33. Tdub Says:

    Lotta angst eminating from the last two Packer commenters.

    A little tense, are we fellas? Don’t worry, this whole thing will be resolved in a month or so.

  34. 5823111 Says:

    If he wasn’t getting paid to do it, Brett Favre would still land his Cessna in Wisconsin. That’s how much he loves landing his Cessna in Wisconsin. God, he does it all for the love of the game.

  35. The Rooster Lives Says:

    @Tdub…haha no angst over here, when its all said and done its just a game. But as for my counterpart “Herschel Walker’s Jockstrap”…..dude needs to lighten up…..this site is all in good fun brotha!

  36. TDizzle Says:

    That is almost as good as the Pats fan posts

  37. Tdub Says:

    Rooster,

    Words, just do us Minneapolisians a favor and keep #4 on your side of the St. Croix.

    /Tarvarized!

  38. holding down the couch springs Says:

    That accent is one hundred percent Upper Michigan, or Minnesota. People from Wisconsin don’t say “don’t you know”.

    /eats entire gorgonzola-stuffed pig steakloaf
    /washes down with keilbasa milkshake
    /turns on are you smarter than a fifth grader because that redneck guy sure is funny in a non-offensive family values kinda way, doncha know.

  39. Mitch Says:

    I don’t get it. Why is that guy from Boston so excited about Brett Favre?

  40. Cognitive_Friction Says:

    Disappointed that the phrases “stop-n-go light” or “bubbler” didn’t make an appearance, but the picture makes up for it!

  41. Sunday Craigslist Roundup: Milwaukee Says:

    [...] dining set ad — what a cool wall color! Or, as they say in Wisconsin when they get excited, “Oh my Gaad, Barb!” Some Eames, Heywood-Wakefield and more tulip tables and chairs thrown in for your Cheesehead [...]

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