Maddenpalooza In Under Two Minutes
I’ve spent the last six days in L.A. covering Maddenpalooza for Deadspin and just got back in town so I can head over to the Gamestop where I reserved the game weeks before I got the assignment. Where’s my free copy, cockbags?
Anyway, I tried to distill an overly branded, tightly regimented fanfest to its essence of dizzying jersey tapestries and awkward retired athlete interviews (or those with Rod Benson). If you want to see Warren Sapp playing a video game, you’ll just have to get yelled at by him yourself.
Tags: fuck you brett favre falcon jersey, rod and rod, xmas ape
August 13th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Busta Rhymes endorsing Obama? I know who I’m voting for.
August 13th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Busta Rhymes endorsing Obama? I know who I’m voting for.
Before you make your decision, you should know that Clara Bow and Errol Flynn have both endorsed Grandpa Simpson.
I mean McCain. Grandpa McCain.
August 13th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
God, dammit this means another season of Madden Nation. Where 18 years old douchebags talk shit on professional athletes for there inferior skills in a virtual world. Shame none of them want to talk shit at Ray Lewis’s house. That would be entertaining.
August 13th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
@Otto Man
Yeah i saw that at checkersintheparkpalooza
August 13th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Regular people playing Madden – Boring.
NFL players playing Madden – Interesting. Because if it happens in Ray’s house, there’s no telling how it might end. Maybe Kyle Boller pops a cap in Joe Flacco. Maybe Omar shows up and robs everyone.
August 13th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
That football toss while sitting in a moving chair thing just made me sad.
August 13th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Can you confirm that its not possible to adjust the player sliders to align their abilities with my own warpt patriots homerism? i.e. Rodney Harrison’s late-hit ability should be a 99.
August 13th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
That Rod Woodson sure is handsome.
August 13th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
That guy was literally an armchair quarterback!
August 13th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
BOOM THO! Chargers are cheating.
@Reggie Bush’s Pimp: Omar got killed by that kid in the bucking armchair.
August 13th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Hard-hitting journalism at its finest. GET THIS MAN THE PULITZER.
Are you going to release the outtakes at some point? Do they include an interview conducted atop the gyrating armchair? “WWWHHHHAATTTT IIIISSSSS YYYYYOOOOUUURRR FFAAAAVVVVOOOOORRRIITEEEE FFEEAAATTTUUURRREEE OOOFF THHHEEE NNEEEWWWW GGGGAAAMMMMMMEEEEE?”
August 13th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
if i was the guy in the julius jones jersey i would 1) buy a “A” patch 2) punch that dickbag in the romo jersey in his junk
\cowboys fan…
August 13th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
I sadly went to this event and damn was it a joke. Ill planned, crappy bands all for the opportunity to buy the game 3 hours before launch on the west coast.
Busta Rhymes endorsing Obama? I know who I’m voting for.
When he dropped his name at the end of Whoo-Ha it was dead silence for several seconds until people went along with the callback. Additionally, one of the idiots from Good Charlatans of Talent was also rolling the O shirt.
August 13th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
What a fucking lame video AND event. Whoever paid money for tickets should demand refunds.
As for Busta Rhymes putting in a good word for his candidate, let me remind ya’ll of something:
While it is not true that most conservatives are stupid, it IS true that most stoopid people are conservatives.
August 13th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
good one c91201, I think I read that on a bumper sticker once.
August 13th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
@c91201
Expect the daily show to call about your audition any day now.
August 13th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
I think we just found the modern replacement for Trekkies. Just replace the NFL jerseys with Star Trek uniforms. And instead of Rod Woodson reflecting on how sad his after-football life has sunk, you have Sulu bitching about Shatner.
Of course, Woodson and Sulu both get paid stupid money to show up, so they win in the end.
August 13th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
It’s interesting that Madden 2002 almost got him kicked out of college. For me, in the seminal year of 2001, it was hash.
Pro athletes. They’re just like us.
August 13th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Busta Rhymes endorsing Obama? I know who I’m voting for.
The Female Circumcision Party candidate?
/SNL reference from when it was funny
August 13th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Ah yes, political jargon on a football blog….gotta love it!!!!
August 13th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Darth Tiki – Were you the guys in the Kurt Warner Rams jersey trying to start the “G-W-B” chant?
August 13th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Not having seen the movie, I don’t know whether I should be surprised to see that Norbit is a Purple Jesus fan.
August 14th, 2008 at 12:56 am
It’s too bad Sapp got butt hurt and made you cut that film. Video looks good though
August 14th, 2008 at 8:06 am
I have to assume the montage of jerseys was an effort to get under Flubby’s skin.
To quote the master: “I don’t wear jerseys, I’m thirty plus. Gimme a crisp pair of jeans, button ups.”
August 14th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Hey, it’s 9:17 AM! Somebody wake up the monkeys and make them dance.
August 14th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Where the Thursday morning funny??? What the hell did the hate machine do to the gay mafia???
August 14th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Darth Tiki – Were you the guys in the Kurt Warner Rams jersey trying to start the “G-W-B” chant?
Nope
August 15th, 2008 at 12:41 am
“Anyway, I tried to distill an overly branded, tightly regimented fanfest to its essence of dizzying jersey tapestries and awkward retired athlete interviews (or those with Rod Benson). ”
Still trying to wrap my head around this fine, fine sentence.
Still ready like spaghetti
http://www.collegefastbreak.com/