I Really Wish This Colored Feller Had Gotten More SPECIFIC!
You know, I turned away from watchin’ my ol’ boys from the Wolfpack playin’ them no good Gamecocks last night in some footbaw to see what this Obarama feller had to say last night, and I have to say I wudn’t very impressed.
When is this colored feller gonna get more specific?
All he talked about last night was war, the economy, immigration, abortion, taxes, gun control, conservation, government regulation, education, foreign policy, and energy policy. But that was all just RHETORIC. Folks down here don’t care to hear all that lofty talk. We’re real Americans. We need to hear SUBSTANCE!
For instance, he barely talked about trade last night. I had hoped he would devote at least 70 minutes to talking about trade. And he didn’t spend 35 minutes talking about property levies, like I wanted. And how come he didn’t say NOTHIN’ about the garbage cans that have been sittin’ in Mrs. Furlong’s yard for HIGH ON THREE WEEKS NOW? The whole neighborhood was up in arms about that! How could he neglect to even MENTION it? Sounds like someone isn’t really tuned in to what the American people need to hear!
And he didn’t say SHIT about how Jake Delhomme’s elbow is doin’. I wonder… does he even care?
Nope, he didn’t say nothin’ about any of that. Instead, he just spent 45 minutes giving a detailed, toplined plan about what he planned to do as President. Well, that just strikes me as hollow. I much would have preferred an 85-hour telethon that noted every detail of every single thing he has ever done or ever will do. Now, I heard that you can get this kind of info on his “intersite”. But, that sounds pretty darn elitist to me. NOT ALL OF US HAVE FANCY INTERSITES, SIR! WE ONLY GOT RADIOS LAST WEEK!
I just think this feller’s different. I done never seen him walking around town! How can I trust someone that hasn’t even served on my city council? I don’t know what kind of crazy tricks he’ll try and pull. I don’t think he gets what really matters to us everyday folk.
Like that stage last night. I didn’t care for that art direction ONE BIT. And he didn’t get how much that means to me. So I’m not votin’ for that feller. He just isn’t giving me any concrete reasons to vote for him.
Also, he’s black.
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, jesus people are retarded, no poflawas please, panther pride
August 29th, 2008 at 9:44 am
Word.
August 29th, 2008 at 9:46 am
You laugh, but I live in Arkansas, and. . .yeah. You got it.
August 29th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Also, he flubbed the word “inextricably” at one point. I just don’t think we can trust a president who cain’t pronunciate.
August 29th, 2008 at 9:53 am
I caught that “inextricably” bit, too. Even our current president knows it’s pronunciated “inextricamably”.
August 29th, 2008 at 9:53 am
I laugh to keep from crying. Also, you neglected to mention that Obama is a secret Muslim.
August 29th, 2008 at 9:54 am
My sauces tell me John McCain will be on MNF to talk with Kornheiser about American Idol, now that’s a feller I can relate to.
August 29th, 2008 at 9:54 am
Oh yeah, did you see Biden’s daughters? Nice.
August 29th, 2008 at 9:55 am
I live in Charlotte, and while it pains me to admit it, this character is an accurate representation of “Panther Nation,” minus the insightful comments on art direction and property levies
August 29th, 2008 at 9:57 am
Is that you in the picture, Drew?
Seriously though, what is so frustrating about Obama is that he can talk about issues for hours and yet not actually say a single meaningful thing. Kinda like watching an NFL broadcast on ESPN: sure they’re talking about football (”the issues”), but they’re just talking in circles and not actually saying anything remotely relevant.
August 29th, 2008 at 9:58 am
Yep, that just about nails it.
People who complain that Obama’s not giving specifics might as well claim he’s not using verbs.
August 29th, 2008 at 9:59 am
Sometimes I wonder if I should move to Canada. I don’t know how much more I can take.
August 29th, 2008 at 10:00 am
For instance, why can’t you tell me how your import/tariff policies affect the price of my mah Oakleys?
August 29th, 2008 at 10:00 am
In that tag up there, did you mean “Jesus, people are retarded” or “Jesus People are retarded”? Either one works.
August 29th, 2008 at 10:00 am
His name is Bob Junior and he’s got Pain-ther Pride!
/Drew’s a character claim jumper
August 29th, 2008 at 10:02 am
If you write any more of this drivel I’m canceling my subscription. I want fake football, not retard ‘politiks.’ At the very least give us some Tommy from Quinzee lib’ral retard rebuttal.
August 29th, 2008 at 10:05 am
Seriously though, what is so frustrating about Obama is that he can talk about issues for hours and yet not actually say a single meaningful thing.
Aiming for total American independence on foreign oil within ten years, and investing $150 million in renewable energy sources at home? Yawn. Investing in early childhood education and yet bucking the Democratic base by imposing standards on teachers? Ho-hum. Cutting taxes on 95% of working families? Booooooorrrrrring.
I much prefer John McCain’s approach, where he gives us a speech telling us what America would look like by the end of his first term — Iraq won! Bin Laden dead! The economy fixed! — without ever telling us how we’d get there. Gosh, those were some nice specific details there.
August 29th, 2008 at 10:06 am
Rocco - you mean like your Bills?
August 29th, 2008 at 10:08 am
I doubt Tawmee is a liberal. Wade? Maybe, which would make sense as he works for a loud asshole Texan. And yes, I realize that “loud asshole Texan” is redundant.
August 29th, 2008 at 10:24 am
He also would like to nominate Steve “I-got-yo’-Foreign-Policy-right-here-bitch” Smith for Secretary of State.
August 29th, 2008 at 10:45 am
I heard that if Barack Hussein Obama wins the presidency the first thing he’ll do is free Mumia and appoint him Secretary of Raping Daughters.
August 29th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Unless you’re Bojanglin’ you ain’t gonna be elected President of the Carolinas…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XKhRx3udxk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hN7CFpL2wMY
August 29th, 2008 at 11:37 am
@tracer bullet:
minor detail: jerry jones is from arkansas, which makes him an asshole from the 4th dimension.
August 29th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Yeah, this blog is a “humor site totally dedicated to the NFL”.
/rolls eyes
August 29th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Jake’s elbow’s fine.
August 29th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
And once again a presidential canidate refused to grab the moment and promise the American people that he would personally Execute John Mayer.
August 29th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Yeah, sure. Barry Obama: higher taxes, government regulation and impediments to business, health care entitlements, protectionism and corporate bashing. Not to mention ‘Great Society’ like ideas about health care. Medicaid for everyone! Whoo! ‘Change I Can Believe In.’
August 29th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
@jujok:
You’re assuming there’s any definable difference between Arkansas and Texas. Texans may not breed ‘em until they’re 11, while Arkansans may insist that pigs “is good eatin’ and good fuckin’” but to my mind, it’s everything south of Ohio is just one giant mass of dumb rednecks in a hot, sticky climate.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
@Tracer Bullet
I resent that. I’m from southern Ohio, and were just as hillbilly as the folks ‘cross the River. Always gotta be defending my roots…
August 29th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Some of these commenters need to stop revealing what idiots they are.
See: Dood
August 29th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Whats really funny is that that guy’s seats, are like three rows behind mine.
August 29th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
@ Pain-therfan: I’m pretty sure if you swivel your head in BoA stadium, you’ll see this guy or a close facsimile.
August 29th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
@Pepster: Not my Bills, but yes, I could then root for the Toronto Bills.
@Wormfather: John Mayer Trio is a good album.
August 29th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
CarolinaPride, thanks for showing up to prove this was an accurate representation of Panthers fans.
And Obama would raise your taxes? Wow, man — congratulations on making more than $250,000 a year.
August 29th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
TR - who will get that $50 billion? Oil companies? Universities? Automakers? Startup companies? What will he cut to pay for the tax cuts to 95% of families? What will the standards be on teachers? It’s not that he didn’t say “anything” - he just said bland, feel-good platitudes without committing to make any hard decisions. It’s like taking a stand against racism - oooo, big man, going out on a limb like that. Well, hell, anyone can promise anything that they want. But does the guy actually have a track record of delivering on anything? Or is he just a state senator and one-term national senator who has been groomed for the presidency but has never run anything but a vaguely shady law firm?
August 29th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Tim - Seriously? Really? So you would like for him, in a speech, to provide the details of the standards he envisions for teachers? You would like for him to provide the details of his proposed budget, in a speech? How long do you think that might take? And do you think anyone would really pay attention? See, that is what written documents are for. If you really care, and I doubt you do, you could do some research, perhaps visit his website as he mentioned during his speech. You could find some details that way. If you disagree with him and his policies, fine. But to say he isn’t being specific enough is just utterly moronic or deceitful.
By the way, just when did politicians start becoming so specific about the details of their policies in their speeches? I’ve totally missed those.
August 29th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Reeb,
Actually, yeah. I would like him to provide details. I have read the Democratic platform, at least the one from 2004, which is the only one they have on the official DNC website, and and there is a lot of rhetoric, and mostly the same high-percentage blather. On energy independence, I think that fuel standards are a noble stand; however the DNC doesn’t address the fact that goes against their stated desire to be less dependent on foreign oil (Higher standards means less fuel being used, means we will still be using oil fifty years from now. …meaning we will still be paying money to the Saudis longer than if we just kept using it up at the current rate). There are only two real ways to reduce oil dependency - one, wait until oil scarcity gets so high that people are willing to pay top dollar for alternative fuels, like hydrogen, or two, find new sources of oil. You want to find new sources of oil but don’t want to drill anywhere in the US, including under miles of ice in Alaska, okay. You want to bring the costs of developing a viable hydrogen powered vehicle, which are in the trillions, down, using only tax incentives, okay. But you are living in a dream world if you think that platform is going to translate into viable policy.
And no, politicians don’t always give details in their speeches. However, I’m easier on them when they have track records in office, because you can get some measure of what they are going to do and how they, traditionally, have implemented the policies they are advocating. That’s what McCain has. After all, how many people just voted for the untested, unproven Bush because they were disgusted with Clinton and bought into a bunch of promises? See how that worked out? When you don’t have a record, and Obama, again, has run nothing, not even a state, you do in fact have to provide details, or risk having people wonder how exactly you are going to achieve all this lofty rhetoric you are spewing out. I don’t put money into businesses that don’t have concrete plans or executives with track records I can analyze, and I don’t vote for people who don’t have concrete plans or track records I can analyze. It has nothing to do with whether or not he’s black. It has to do with the fact that I don’t trust him to run a Publix efficiently, let alone the country.
Big DD, I love your posts, but can we keep it to football? I’m sure the Onion or someone would have a place for commentary like this, but I’m just not sure that this is a can of worms that needs to be opened on KSK.
August 29th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
IT WAS ONE GODDAMN POST. Check the tags. Litter this comment section with rambling poflawa horseshit ever again and I’ll ban you like a leper.
August 29th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Wooo, touchy. Sorry.
August 29th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
“I heard that if Barack Hussein Obama wins the presidency the first thing he’ll do is free Mumia and appoint him Secretary of Raping Daughters.”
the only poignant comment in this post. Thank you, sir.
August 30th, 2008 at 12:15 am
Ouch, Tim. Be very careful. You’re about the be “ban[ed] like a leper” from making comments on a website. That’s gotta hurt.
August 30th, 2008 at 6:34 am
Let’s not upset Big Daddy Balls here. The last thing we want is to be banned from an unfunny site struggling to come up with a new schtick.
August 30th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Poflawa?
August 30th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
What’s a poflawa?
August 30th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Oh man. I don’t like Obama because of his stance on various moral, economic, and social service issues that I don’t agree with.
Even worse. I believe in God
I guess I will have to accept my fate as a racist idiot that clearly cannot summon any coherent thoughts of value.
Cruel, cruel world!
August 31st, 2008 at 5:16 am
We’re happy that you have accepted your fate.
August 31st, 2008 at 9:19 am
Even worse. I believe in God
Well, since any Islamic scholar knows that “Obama” translates from Mooslim to “Fuck your Christian God & the horse he rode in on . . . whitey,” I suppose I can understand your position on his candidacy.
August 31st, 2008 at 12:51 pm
@ Leper: Need a tissue for your issue?
August 31st, 2008 at 12:57 pm
and a powflawa is a Political Flame War - usually specifically listed as a castratable offense herein KSK-land. To anyone bitching about the offtopicness: please die.
September 1st, 2008 at 10:45 am
For some reason, I thought poflawa was a user who started shit in the past. Learn something new every day on these here internets.
Seriously, though, KSK is not funny anymore. I can’t be the only person who’s noticed this. Offtopic or not, it’s really slipped.
@ Elmer: eat a dick.
September 1st, 2008 at 12:21 pm
“Seriously, though, KSK is not funny anymore.” What are you doing at a humor site that isn’t funny anymore? Can’t you just let the rest of us enjoy our obviously underdeveloped senses of humor in peace?
@ Tim - Thanks for your thoughtful response (no sarcasm intended). If you are really interested in details on Obama’s policies (not the DNC’s), then go to his website. There you will find eight pages on his energy policy alone (spoiler alert: higher fuel standards comprise one very small part of his plan). I also imagine that you are somewhat disturbed by the fact that if McCain is elected for two terms it is actuarially likely that Sarah Palin will be President given that a verifiable track record in office or highly detailed policies are so important.
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:06 am
Gosh, I live in North Carolina and I’m a NC State and Panthers fan… I almost forgot that I’m a big, dumb racist with no shoes and overalls..
THANK YOU KSK!!!
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:57 am
On the other hand, you do give those Patriot dickwads a hard time, too…